Pretty Things: A Hint of Sparkle

 The above are a few of my favorite pretty things; I adore them for the hint (or splatter) of sparkle they bear.

As GG mentioned “in secret” while I was away, there’s quite a bit more to both she and I than we’ve allowed ourselves to show here previously, but in the spirit of evolving, we’re making an effort to let you in a little bit more.

Something you may or may not have learned about me by reading this blog (but that you probably did know if you happen to also read my other blog, Pish Posh Perfect) is that I am the ultimate girly girl. If it’s pink or ruffled or floral, I am SO in. I also have a bit of a penchant for sparkle, which as the holidays approach, becomes more and more acceptable within the confines of every day wear (this is not to imply that I don’t wear it outside the confines on any other day of the year!). We talk a lot on this blog about appreciating the little things, and letting them take you to a happy place when needed—sparkle is one of the things that does that for me.

It’s easy to go full-on New Year’s Eve or 70s disco glitter; you can make sparkly accessories your play with more neutral base items; and there are tons of cute pieces that bear more subtle bling. No matter which side of the style spectrum you lean toward, there’s a way to incorporate it into your wardrobe.

Are you a fan of pretty sparkly things? 

Express Sequin Tank / Debbie Merle Designs Bracelet / Modcloth Glitter Headband / Modcloth Glitter Woven Skirt / J. Crew Glitter Belt / J. Crew Glitter Clutch / Schutz Cap-Toe Glitter Pump

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Pretty Things: Girlfriends

Sometimes all you need to feel like a "pretty thang" is to be surrounded by your good girlfriends. You know, the ones who will laugh with you, cry with you, cook for you, tell you when you're wrong--and just overall love you to pieces.

A good girlfriend of ours got married a couple of weekends ago and friends from all over came into town to celebrate her nuptials. It was so much fun and just the biggest love fest ever. We can't be together all the time like we did when we were younger, but when we do get together, it's like we never separated. So refreshing.

If you haven't had really good girl time lately, I encourage you to have some. Immediately. Include wine. :-). Happy Wednesday.

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Pretty Things: Natural in the Summer

Do you know it's been a year since I've done a natural hair update?   I didn't realize it had been such a long time.  I haven't been very focused on my hair lately.  It's grown a lot, but I I have a feeling that I will need a lot cut when I go for my next trim.  I've been wearing it in buns 95% of the time, and I'm way overdue for a trim.

All summer, I've either worn ponytails like this...

Or buns like this....

It's been way too humid to wear it all up in my face and on my neck.  I'll typically wash on Sundays and braid it up and wear it in various updos throughout the week.  If it gets too crazy in the middle of the week, I'll either rinse it and braid it again or I'll cowash.  I've done almost no wash and goes because my hair really doesn't like them. 

I've tried to keep it really simple.  There are three factors that really seem to keep my hair thriving, with minimal work:   1) Every wash, I either pre-treat with oil or do an oil rinse, 2) After washing, I braid or twist to dry and stretch, no matter how I plan on styling, and 3) Remoisturize at least a couple times during the week. 

How do I remoisturize?  At night, I dab a nickel sized amount of oil or butter in my hands and evenly distribute throughout my hair, paying particular attention to my ends.  Then I put it up either in a top knot or a couple twists or braids, put on a plastic cap, then a scarf over that and go to bed.   When I wake up, my hair feels amazing and happy. 



Whether you are natural or relaxed, what have you been doing with your hair all summer? 

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Pretty Things: 4 Simple Pleasures I'm Loving Right Now

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Today, I want you to remember to make time for the little things that boost your spirit, put a smile on your face, make you feel creative, intelligent, attractive - basically however you want to feel.  Have you been doing that lately?

Sometimes I am my own worst enemy.  I put so much pressure on myself.  I was talking to the mister recently about household duties and how stressed I get about taking care of home and work and everything else while still trying to look somewhat presentable.  He's such a low maintenance guy and if he saw my to-do list, he'd probably cross half of it off, deeming those things to be unnecessary.  Everyone has different priorities, I guess, and I'm learning that keeping the sink clear of dirty dishes at all times is not a priority for him.  And just maybe, it shouldn't be such a big deal for me either.

This is why today I'm sharing with you four of my favorite things.  I need to remember the importance of simple pleasures and that a life of ceaseless productivity is not going to bring the best out of me.  Maybe you need this reminder too.

Dressing Up

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Or maybe I should say dressing down!  I love my casual style and I'm really enjoying the ease of summer clothes.  No coats, no gloves, no bulky clothes.  Let's enjoy it while it lasts.

Reading

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Since I'm studying for a big exam for work (I've already failed it once!), I haven't indulged too much in reading for pleasure.  I got this awhile back and haven't finished it, but it's hilarious and relatable.  I love Mindy Kaling. 

Working Out

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I've finally started working out again on a regular basis.  Well, it's been 3 weeks of consistent exercise, and I seriously feel like a different person.  In all honesty, I look the same and my pants are still fitting too tight, but I know I'm back on the right track.   If you're like me and you've been making excuses, stop doubting yourself and get moving!   You will feel different inside and out and you will be so proud of yourself.

Planning

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So maybe planning sounds more like business than pleasure but it all depends on what you are planning.  In order to escape the challenges of day to day, it helps to make sure you set aside resources to plan for something fun.  Maybe that's a vacation, or a shopping date with friends.  It could be as simple as a trip to the spa or the salon.  The only requirement is that it's something that makes you happy and seeing it on your calendar puts a smile on your face.  :)

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Pretty Things: 5 Ways to Feel Refreshed and Beautified On the Go



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Self-care is extremely important to your overall sense of confidence. When we take care to look our best on the outside, it creates positive feelings on the inside and we create a fulfilling cycle. Never allow your schedule or your responsibilities to become so demanding that you are not taking time to stay fresh and feminine.  Here are a few tips:

Wash Your Hands.   This may sound obvious but it's too important to overlook. This simple act, when done mindfully, can really provide you with a boost if you take the time to notice it. Too often we just rush through it so we can get back to what we're doing. Slow down and wash your hands thoroughly, under your nails, include your wrists and forearms if you can. Repeat. Then dry and finish with your favorite lotion. Now tell me this doesn't rejuvenate you! Not only do you feel good because you are keeping yourself clean and decreasing your exposure to germs, but you also will enjoy looking down at your clean, soft hands and getting occasional whiffs of the fresh scent of soap and lotion. Femininity is really found in the smallest details, isn't it?

Brush Your Teeth. A refreshed mouth just makes you feel brand new overall doesn't it? Keep a portable toothbrush and a travel size toothpaste in your purse at all times. Be sure to apply some lip gloss or lipstick (or whatever your lippy of choice) when you're done. Remember that your mouth is always a focal point when you're interacting with people, so it's natural that you will feel more confident after you freshen it up. Drink lots of water to keep the feeling going.

Refresh Your Face.  If your skin tends to get oily throughout the day, use oil blotting sheets like these from Biore.  They will absorb the oil from your face without disturbing your makeup.  Before I discovered these, I would just continue to add powder to my face when I got oily and by the end of the day, I'd literally have piles of makeup on my face mixed with oil and dirt and who knows what else.  Not only was this murder on my pores but it also wasted a lot of product.  

If your skin is feeling tight and dry, using a refreshing spray like The Body Shop's Vitamin C Energizing Face Spritz will hydrate your skin without leaving your skin feeling too dewy or greasy. I also love the fragrance - it's light and citrusy and my kids tell me that my face smells yummy after I use it. Remember, this spray will hydrate your skin, but it's not a moisturizer so if your skin is very very dry - this won't cut it by itself.

Revive Your Hair.  Depending on how you wear your hair, how you revive it in the middle of the day will vary.  Personally, I wear my hair in buns and updos often and sometimes I need to shake it out and put it back up to feel refreshed.  If I can, I'll take my hair down and massage my scalp for a few minutes.  Then I'll put my hair back up and keep it moving. If my hair is down, I may massage some oil or gloss into it.  It really depends.  No matter what, giving your hair a little mid-day love will lift your mood.  Don't overdo it though. Textured hair doesn't like to be overmanipulated. 

Stretch and Practice Deep Breathing Exercises. Take a moment to breathe deeply - in through your nose and out through your mouth. Clear your mind. Repeat your favorite bible verse or quote to yourself. In addition to deep breathing, do some quick stretches. What stretches should you do? I recommend doing a few sun salutations. These will warm up your muscles, improve circulation and along with the deep breathing you will have an overall sense of well being when you're done.

How do you freshen up when you're out and about? 

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Pretty Things: 6 Delicate Gold Adornments I Love

Leonardo Da Vinci said that simplicity is the ultimate sophistication.  I love the simplicity of the following pieces.  They really capture my evolving personal style - feminine and unassuming.  That's how I'm feeling these days.

Rose Gold

Initials

I love golden leaves

His/Her birthstone ring

Toe rings are great to cover up blemishes

What accessories are you loving right now?!

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Pretty Things: 5 Beauty & Style Tips to Make Motherhood Look Easy

And here I am.  NOT making it look easy.

I've got everyone fooled. Well, really I don't. But I like to think that I've fooled everyone into thinking that I have it all together and I've got this motherhood/career thing totally figured out. It's all a hoax, actually.

I read this quote the other day and I chuckled out loud: "Let us be grateful to the mirror for revealing to us our appearance only." I don't know about you, but I'll drink to that. If my appearance reflected everything going on in my mind at any given time, I'd probably be walking around looking like a circus clown.

I live by the doctrine that just because you have a lot going on in your life, doesn't mean you have to look like it.  Here are some ways to keep yourself looking graceful and polished as you work and carpool and change dirty diapers.

Stay Hydrated.  I really have to force myself to drink water, but I feel so much better when I do.  I have less stomach/digestion issues and I feel much more energetic.  It also keeps your mouth feeling fresher.  Let me tell you though, it's so annoying have to go the bathroom often when you're out all day with the kids!   The pros outweight the cons though. 

Keep Your Nails Short and Sweet.  I love nail polish, but my lifestyle right now does not allow me the time I need to maintain them.  If this is true for you too, keep your nails trimmed short and neatly filed.  If you have time for a coat of clear or a nude shade - even better.  Neat nails go a long way to make you feel and look polished.  Alternatively, have you seen these new press on nails?  Supposedly, "they are quick and easy to use, as you simply size your nail, peel off the adhesive and place on firmly.  The nails are flexible and durable so you can file and shape them to your preference, and they look completely natural."   You should totally try them and let me know what you think!

Get a Haircut.  I'm not saying to chop all your hair off, but if you have a good cut, you won't have to spend as much time on your hair.  If you've been thinking about the Big Chop, for example, I say go for it.  Can you imagine the time you would save?!  If that's too drastic for you, find a signature style that you can rely on when you don't have time to wrestle with your hair.  My signature style is the bun, of course.  Hats and scarves are a big help as well.

Minimize the Makeup.  I'm no makeup expert, and I certainly don't have perfect skin but I recommend that you keep your daily makeup routine simple.  Concealer for under eye circles, a light powder if necessary or tinted moisturizer, mascara and lip gloss.  I've recently started using blush as well and I love how it makes me look more awake and vibrant.  Makeup is very personal.  You may prefer to skimp somewhere else and dedicate more time to your daily makeup routine.  "Makeup is a personality. You never tell someone what they should do to make themselves feel beautiful." - Sam Fine.

You might find these tips from Sam Fine via Afrobella helpful if you're trying to find your makeup personality.

Invest in Cute Flats.  If you're like my bestie and co-author, you'd rather wear heels than flats any day.  But if you're like me and have an almost 2 year old to chase, you probably need some practical, cute flats to run around in.  Practical does not have to mean frumpy.  I love these that Kim picked up a couple weeks ago. 

So, what are your tips and tricks for keeping your pretty game up while taking care of home and business and everything else?!

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Pretty Things: Blankets, Baskets and Books




When it comes to home design, I have always felt unsure about how to best capture the sense of charm and welcome that I want to convey to my guests.  I felt like our house needed so much work to reach the level of sophistication that I wanted.  But lately, I've had a change in perspective.

I look around my home and it's anything but sophisticated, but it tells me who we are as a family loud and clear.  We're a family of five living in a three bedroom townhouse with two kids in elementary school, one toddler and two working parents.  Organized chaos at its best.  And yet, I feel happier in this space than I have in a long time. 

Why? Well, I've reconsidered the whole sophistication thing.  "Since we cannot change reality, let us change the eyes which see reality." ...I mean, really who am I kidding? Maybe I'll have a sophisticated house one day when the necessities that come along with child-proofing and toy storage are no longer a consideration.  Also, this change in perspective has allowed me to identify three major sources of comfort and function that allow me to indulge myself in decorating my home: blankets, baskets and books.

BLANKETS

With lots of cozy blankets tossed strategically around our home, I feel that a quick fix of security and warmth is always within arm's reach.  We love to cuddle up with them on our big sectional couch in the living room and the kids LOVE to build forts, make capes and play "I'm gonna get you!" under the covers. 

As I evolve as a woman and a homemaker, blankets have become one of the indulgences that beckon to me to express my family's personality.

BASKETS

I never could have imagined how many containers children require!  Papers, toys, clothes, art supplies, sports equipment, shoes, hair decorations, games, books....I'll stop there but I could go on. 

Out of necessity and volition, I opt mostly for pretty baskets to keep the clutter to a less noticeable level in our home.  It's becoming a hobby for me as I love shopping for them and finding the right place and purpose in our space.  The right basket can transform an annoying pile of toys or mail into a strategically placed source of character in a room. 

BOOKS

As much as I love for everything to be in its place, books never translate as clutter to me.  Matter of fact, I love to see a pile of them sitting any and everywhere.  

Incidentally, when I tried to explain this to my other half, he kindly informed me that he feels the same way about tools.  Somehow, I'm unable to embrace tools in the same way, so I just nodded and smiled as I made a mental note that we need a new basket to hold the loose tools and screws that are sitting on top of the fridge.  Anyway, back to books...

While I certainly appreciate the convenience of kindles and e-readers, I will always and forever prefer the look, feel and smell of real books.  For a book lover, a wall full of books can effectively replace the need for art work or other decorations. 

I love to observe the way people express themselves through the decoration of their homes.  How do you indulge your personal expression in a practical way through your decorating style?

All images via Pinterest 

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Pretty Things: My Winter Beauty Arsenal for Smooth Skin

Hello Beautiful Ones! I have vowed to myself that this winter I will not let my skin get all scaly and stubbly and dry. I will not put lotion just on the skin that is showing. I will not walk around with ashy hands and dry cuticles. I will be soft and supple and smooth! I wanted to share with you all a few of the products I'm using to keep my skin moisturized and touchable without breaking the bank.

1. Amlactin - This is hands down my beauty find of the year. Amlactin Moisturizing Body Lotion contains an alpha-hydroxy acid (12%) that exfoliates and moisturizes very dry skin. It's recommended for the treatment of Keratosis Pilaris, which I've always had and never knew that it was an actual skin condition. You know those little "chicken" bumps that some people get on the backs of their arms? I get them on my arms, and thighs sometimes and I also get acne on my upper back. I've only been using this lotion for a week and THE BUMPS ARE GONE.

On top of that, my skin is so so smooth - even  hours after application. I also read here and here that other women bloggers that I follow have seen improvement in stretch marks and dark marks which makes sense because it significantly speeds up the cell turnover in your skin. It's fragrance free and the consistency is not thick at all, so it smooths into the skin very easily. You can find it online or in stores and the price seems to range between $16 - $25 for a bottle depending on where you get it.

2. Caress Evenly Gorgeous Exfoliating Body Wash - There are tons of expensive exfoliating scrubs out there, but you're probably overlooking this gem that is right under your nose at your local drugstore. I love it because it's not too harsh and gives me just the right amount of scrub. It smells amazing and feels luxurious. Also, when you wash it off, your skin already feels moisturized before you put all your lotions and oils on. You just can't be mad at it for less than five bucks.

3. Bio Oil - We all know that there's no true way to completely get rid of stretch marks, but we can minimize them through different methods. I kept hearing about Bio Oil so I decided to give it a try. The website says that it smooths and tones scars, stretch marks and uneven skin tone and is also effective for dehydrated and aging skin. With consistent use, I found that the texture of my skin improved and my stretch mark seemed less raised, if that makes sense. I tend to be heavy handed with it, so I'd use it up really fast and the stuff is not cheap (about $10 or $11 for 2 oz!) I keep buying it though because it works. Now, I plan on using it in tandem with Amlactin. I don't plan on putting them on at the same time. I'll probably use Amlactin at night and Bio Oil in the morning or vice versa.  We'll see.

4. Nivea Soft Hand Cream - I keep a tube of this at my desk at work, in my purse, and on my kitchen sink. I'm sure there are tons of hand lotions out there that get the job done, but I particularly like this one because it doesn't have a strong smell, it doesn't leave my hands feeling oily or sticky and of course, it moisturizes very well.  I must admit that I've always like Nivea because my mom used to use it. *shrugs* Oh, and it's cheap.

5. Exfoliating Gloves - I use these instead of using a loofah or poof in the shower. In my opinion, they give me the best scrub down and I really need the works for my skin. I use these along with the Caress Exfoliating Body Wash. Now, if I'm taking a night time and morning shower, which lately I often do, I won't use the gloves or the exfoliating wash for both. Most likely, I'll exfoliate at night (with the gloves and Caress) and then shave in the morning (and just use regular Dove soap to wash). By the way, what do you use to shave? I usually use a cheap Suave conditioner from the dollar store.

What beauty products and tips do you have for keeping your skin soft and smooth throughout the cold months??   Do tell!!

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Pretty Things: Lovely Links for Style and Beauty Inspiration

"There is no law that says that

a person of inner beauty cannot

also maintain an appearance."

~Robert Brault

As much as we love everything about peace and love and personal growth, we also love PRETTY THINGS. We believe it's important to take care of yourself inside and out -- and to the extent that you can control your environment; your surroundings should also be beautiful and reflect who you are inside.

We love the following blogs for the daily fashion, style and beauty inspiration that they provide.  Always true to our ethos, we also love these blogs for their focus on self-fulfillment, expression and creativity.

The Simply Luxurious Life was created by Shannon Ables.  She posts loveliness Monday through Friday, and I never miss a post.  They are full of visual and verbal appetizers that remind me that despite how frazzled and overworked I feel most of the time; I'm a graceful and enlightened creature who deserves a luxurious life.  That luxury is defined by me in terms of who I am, how I choose to feel, and how I choose to express myself.   

Here's what she says about how she came to create her blog: "I decided to share my passions, approaches and ideas as a way to help others find their passion in life by clearing out the clutter and bringing in the luxurious necessities that can enliven and inspire each day no matter what one's income, location or situation."


Recent posts you will love: 
 
First, Seek Self-Approval
Style Inspiration
Single or Married: 20 Things to Do

Following Natural Belle on her blog or tumblr will give you all the fashion and hair inspiration that you could ever need.

From her bio: "Natural hair and style blogger since 2008; Belle of Naturalbelle is a British natural who documents her hair journey and highlights natural beauty and style in the mainstream. She describes her blog as "an online magazine inspired by natural hair and fashion with a bit of narcissism thrown in.  Her main aim is to inspire women to embrace their natural assets and highlight the beauty of all natural women."

I get so much inspiration from the beautiful images she shares on her sites.  When I was initially getting used to having natural hair, her site was one that showed me the extensive diversity of it.  More than that, I found her site at a time when I needed to reconnect with my sense of creativity and self-expression.  If you love modern and retro style, fashion and hair - you will love Natural Belle.

Recent posts you will love:

The Inspiration: Halloween
Capsule Closet: Grey, Metallic & Blue
The Icon: Angela Davis

Tiffany was just featured as one of our GEMS last week, and I could not do this post without including her lovely blog.   Her story is so inspirational and should convey to everyone who reads it that it is possible to create the time and space to do the things we love AND get paid for doing them!

From her blog: "ACCIDENTAL Chic is an inside look at Tiffani's life as a fashion stylist and interior decorator. She gives advice for timeless style, along with the latest trends and has a devotion to living a beautiful life." 

We were fortunate enough to meet Tiffani last year at an event in DC and she has a beautiful spirit that compliments her approach to style, interior design and life.  You will find that her warmth and her love for what she does comes across through her blog.

Recent posts you will love:

Mantra Monday
Ask a Stylist: What Wardrobe Staples Should I Have
Pillow Talk


What are some of your favorite fashion, style and beauty blogs?  With so many out there, what makes your favorites stand out??

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Pretty Things: A Natural Hair Update

It's been awhile since I updated you all on my hair journey, so in this post I want to share my recent discoveries and thoughts about natural hair.

Back in June 2010, I decided that I wanted to grow my hair to waist length.  These were my thoughts at the time:  "I've decided to set a length goal. I didn't want to set one before, because I didn't want to make my natural hair journey about a specific outcome. Now that I've accomplished the "going natural" part, I really am curious to see if my natural hair can surpass the length I achieved before college and if I can maintain it."

Since then, I've had a third child and been promoted at work and have another child in school and well, suffice it to say that I have even less time to spend on my hair.  This past summer, I got to the point where I felt like I wouldn't  be able to handle my hair anymore if it got any longer!   The detangling sessions were getting out of control.  I was spending so much time detangling and twisting and using so much product that it was becoming annoying and expensive.  I had to re-evaluate.  The way I see it, hair is supposed to be fun.  I want styling and caring for my hair to be a relaxing past time for me, not a source of stress.  Many of my friends and acquaintances have told me that natural hair was just too much work for them.  And I was beginning to understand how they felt!

So, what I did was empty my mind of any subconscious notions that I was harboring about how I should or shouldn't be styling my hair and products that I should or shouldn't be using.  I opened my mind back up to things that I'd "abolished" since starting my natural hair journey.  And now, I'm back on the right track and my hair is thriving! 

Here's what I've learned:

* Trimming.  I got 2 inches trimmed from my hair in August 2011.  Oh my goodness, no wonder my detangling sessions had gotten so crazy.  Ever since my trim, detangling is a breeze, everything is a breeze.  Washing, styling....EVERYTHING!  Before the trim, I'd gone at least a year and a half without a professional trim. I'd maintained my hair by simpling trimming it myself occasionally.  I was retaining length, so I thought it was fine.  When you're wearing your hair curly, you don't necessarily need it to be cut a certain way so it's easy to look at your hair section by section and think it's doing ok.  But if your hair is getting noticeably more difficult to detangle, it may be a sign that you need a "real" trim.  I certainly don't want waist length hair that's full of knotty ends.

* Stretching.  My natural hair is thin, very shrinky, and very prone to knots.  I find that when I keep my hair stretched, I get significantly less knots and splits and my hair requires less work.  Styling sessions are quicker and less frequent and my hair retains moisture for longer amounts of time.  I stretch my hair through any combination of the following:  blowdrying (no more than twice a month), roller setting, braiding, bunning (stretches roots), or banding.  I had to give up the idea that stretching my hair was like relaxing it.  Hardly.  My goal was to stop putting relaxers in my hair so that it would be healthier and thicker. Sometimes you have to pause and remember what your goals were for your hair and open your mind.  Things might not play out exactly the way you thought, but you can still get there.  For me, wash and go's aren't going to be my vehicle to achieving healthier, thicker hair.

* Sealing.  I moisturize my hair on four levels.  First with a spray - it could be just water or it could be a leave-in like Jane Carter's Revitalizing Leave-In, Infusium 23 Moisturizing Leave-In or Fermodyl 619 for coarse/curly hair.  Then I add a layer of a light, water-based creamy moisturizer like Kinky Kurly Knot Today, Bee Mine Luscious Balanced Moisturizer, Qhemet Burdock Root Butter Cream, or Giovanni Direct Leave-in.  Next, I see with an oil or shea butter based product like coconut oil, Hot Six Oil, Bee Mine Hair and Scalp Moisturizer, Pink Oil Moisturizer (yes, I'm fine with sealing with mineral oil) or others.  Finally, I seal over top of that with a silicone based serum.  Adding this final steps gives me moisturized hair for days!!  It may sound like a lot, but it works for me.  Some nights, I put on a clear plastic cap and tie my scarf around it.  This acts like a mini-heated moisturizing treatment and helps to remoisturize my hair when I'm between styling sessions.

None of these are things you haven't heard before, but these small changes have rejuvenated my love affair with my hair.  If you're feeling frustrated with your hair, take a step back and consider where you can be more open minded to trying different things.  Just because other "naturals" don't do it, doesn't mean it won't work for you. 

Whether you're relaxed or natural, what adjustments have you made to your routines or beliefs that have resulted in happier hair and a happier you?! 

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Pretty Things: Updo Tutorial

A few of you asked me to provide more detail about how I achieve this updo/bun thing that I showed here that happens to be my go to protective style.   There's no exact rhyme or reason to it, as it comes out differently every time.  

I start off with a shampoo or conditioner wash and deep conditioning treatment.

I section my hair into 8 - 12 braids.   Typically, more braids works better for this style.  I prefer to do braids over twists, because I like to put rollers at the ends and for me, the rollers stay in place better at the end of a braid.  I feel like the weight of the roller tends to unravel my twists a bit. 

Sometimes I will stretch my hair first by banding or blowdrying.  Often when I stretch the hair first, I prefer to do cornrows instead of braids.  Cornrows give the style even more texture.  I don't like to do my cornrows on wet hair because it gets too tangly.

I use a leave-in followed by a sealing oil or butter on each section.  I braid each section and leave about 2 inches at the bottom.  I smooth that hair at the bottom out with my oil/butter and perhaps a small tooth comb and put in a satin roller.   Putting the roller at the end is a great way to protect and stretch your ends and it also gives a nice finish to each piece of hair so you don't have to worry about any scraggly pieces sticking out.


At this point, I may put on a satin cap, but I've discovered that using a hair net and sleeping on a satin pillowcase allows more air to get in so it dries faster.  I prefer the hair net over just leaving the braids loose.
It must dry all the way for the set to hold properly. 

When I take it out the next day, I decide whether I want a high updo or perhaps a loose side bun.  Then I take a small scrunchy and just wrap it around once.  Depending on the length and thickness of your hair and the ponytail holder you use, you may need to wrap it around more but the general idea is for it to not be tight.    At this point I simply grap different pieces of hair and just pin it here and there until I like the look.  I don't separate the pieces.  The less you manipulate it and separate the hair, the longer it will last.  If you think of  the hair as coming out of the middle of the ponytail like a flower, I generally start with that shape in mind; but then I just kind of pin each section of hair where it falls and I try to make it look more random - sort of like a mix between a bun and a ponytail. 

To maintain this, I take it down at night - trying to manipulate it as little as possible.  I might spray it with a light oil or something if necessary.  Then, I'll either put it in just a few braids with rollers, or I might even just put it in a loose pony on top of my head and tie it down.  The more nights that you rebraid it though, the longer it will last and the waves will stay more defined.

Does this make sense?  I'm happy to answer questions.   I think this is a great style no matter the season, and it allows for some versatility while still giving your hair a rest.

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Pretty Things: Updos, Buns and Braids!

  Summer is quickly approaching and I could NOT be happier.  I'm a heat seeker and I love warm weather.  I love wearing my hair out in the summer, but it always gets way too hot to have all this hair on my face and the back of my neck.   Can you relate?  Here are some options to keep your hair out of the way when the humidity gets crazy.  Your hair will also thank you for the break! 

What's your go-to style for hot and humid summer days? 

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Pretty Things: Love Your Body, Love Yourself

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When I look in the mirror, usually what draws my attention the most are my flaws. For any compliment you can give me, I can counter it with a gripe about how this hangs or how that sticks out. Many of us have been rejecting our bodies for so long that we don't even realize how negatively this affects are overall self-image. Case in point, I can't tell you how many times I've thought "If I was prettier, 'insert stupid boy name' wouldn't have done this" or "If my body did 'this' instead of 'this', I'd feel more comfortable in my skin."

Body image is complicated. We have these high (and ever-changing) expectations that we set ourselves up for; always reaching to achieve this ideal of beauty knowing that we'll never really be satisfied. Plus, how can we talk about loving ourselves on the inside when we haven't accepted what's going on on the outside? Just as I strive to grow in wisdom and spirituality, I also strive to develop my own perception of physical beauty.   That is to say, I'm focusing on what makes me feel beautiful and learning to mitigate the things that don't.

Here's a thought: let's try to work with what we've got right now. Pre-weight loss. Pre-hair growth. Pre-whatever you're working on. Remember that your magnetism and confidence come from within. Let's learn to accentuate the positive in small ways that make us feel good in big ways. Here are a few ideas:

Step up your underwear game. It's amazing how wearing pretty underwear can make you feel like a new woman! Take a look through your underwear drawer and throw away the old, stretched, torn, droopy panties. Invest in good bras that fit you correctly (go get fitted!) and make sure that you have a variety of bras that will work under a variety of tops. Store your pretty underthings neatly and wash them gently and separately.

Invest in professional treatments. I'm not talking about plastic surgery. However, if you have issues with your skin, have you seen a dermatologist? Do you know your options? What about facial hair? Have you explored laser hair removal? Plucking and waxing can cause hyperpigmentation, so they're not the best option for black women. Instead of hiding problems like acne and unwanted hair, learn what your options are and use your grown woman money to find solutions for your grown woman beauty needs!

Dress to accentuate what you love about your body. Don't buy clothes that are on trend but unflattering to your body type. Learn what shapes are flattering on you. I never used to try on clothes, but now I try almost everything on to see how it fits ME. Just because it's cute, doesn't mean it will be cute and/or comfortable on you. It's never cute to be tugging and pulling at your clothes all day, and it just makes you feel self-conscious and distracted.

Get your clothes tailored. So many of us overlook this! I'm 5'9" so I have to wear long or tall pants always. However, if I find a pair of regular length pants that fit great except for the length, I'll buy them and have my tailor let the inseam down. If there's just a slight change that would make that item fit you like a glove, then it's worth paying a few extra dollars to make that happen.

Exercise, Eat healthier, Drink more water. Nothing makes you feel more beautiful than taking care of yourself. Sometimes our dissatisfaction with our bodies comes simply from our awareness that we're not taking care of it like we should. We feel guilty and we see that guilt and mistreatment when we look in the mirror.  Challenge yourself to adopt healthier habits, so you can feel better on the inside and look better on the outside. 

"Don't wait for the world to celebrate you.  Carve out your own niche.  Focus on what's great, forget what's not.  Find joy in your own reflection."   ~Sarah Bon Breathnach

What do you think comes easier - loving your body or your mind?  What's more important?

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Pretty Things: Sustainable Jewelry

Monique Pean has turned the jewelry industry on its ear with her socially and environmentally conscious pieces. The 2009 CFDA/Vogue Fashion Fund winner garnered the nod with her non-traditional baubles, including a bridal collection, made completely of recycled and sustainable materials. She routinely partners with organizations that draw attention to global issues, like Charity: Water (which seeks to aid in bringing clean water to impoverished nations), draws inspiration for her collections from the issues these organizations seek to draw attention to, as well as donates portions of her proceeds to their causes.

Buffalo Horn Earrings at Barneys New York

Fossilized Walrus Ivory and Diamond Necklace at Barneys New York



Pink Tourmaline Bib Necklace at Barneys New York

Of note, are Pean's engagement rings, formed from recycled platinum and gold, as well as repurposed industrial diamonds that are normally discarded as trash.



Photos:
Refinery 29
TheGloss.com
Kaboodle.com

I would be highly inclined to wear an engagement ring made of sustainable materials, and I find these to be both exquisite and unique. Is this idea appealing to you, or would you rather go the more traditional route?

It's fantastic to wear jewelry that makes you look beautiful, but Monique Pean's gives you the opportunity to feel beautiful inside about what you're wearing as well. While her jewelry is not currently at a price point that would make it widely affordable, the effort and the work behind creating these items--and the attention it draws to the issues surrounding some of the gleaning practices for precious metals and stones--is admirable and inspiring.

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Pretty Things: What I've Learned About My Natural Hair

When I decided to stop relaxing my hair, I had many ideas about what it would be like to be natural.  Now that I'm about five years into my natural hair journey (that includes transitioning), many of these ideas have been proven quite wrong.  I absolutely love the fullness and versatility of my natural hair.  I expected that and haven't been disappointed.   However, there have been many challenges that I didn't expect! 

1. Just because my hair is not chemically treated does not mean that it will automatically be healthier and grow longer. My hair is naturally thin and dry, so I have to be gentle with it, keep it moisturized and protect it from drying factors like wind, cotton sheets and wool sweaters/coats. When I first decided to go natural, I had this idea that with no chemicals and little heat, my hair would be so strong and resilient that I'd be able to wear it out all the time without any consequences. This is NOT the case. I get single strand knots very easily, which I did not get when I was relaxed, so this is something I didn't anticipate. This leads me to my next discovery.

2. Since my hair is prone to single strand knots, I have to keep my hair stretched most of the time to avoid them. I stretch through banding, braiding and blow drying. Although my favorite style is a twist out with no rollers at the end, my ends do better when they are stretched with a roller. I make sure that I don't blow dry more than once a month, and I keep it on the medium setting. In the summertime, I don't blow dry at all. I hardly get regular split ends at all anymore, which is great. But damaged ends are still damaged ends, so I have to keep certain hairstyles to a minimum to avoid the knots.

3. Protective styling is the best thing I can do for my hair for length and moisture retention. Like I said earlier, I really thought that I'd be able to wear my hair down all the time if I was natural, but that just doesn't work for me. Yeah, I get bored with it sometimes; but since I've been bunning for the past couple of months, my hair has really been thriving, so it's worth it. Plus, I find all kinds of ideas for styles online and it forces me to be creative. There are so many options with natural hair and my hair is now thick enough and textured enough to give me lots of options.

Are you transitioning or already natural? If you have dispelled any myths or made any discoveries on your journey, please share in the comments! Also, if you're experiencing any challenges, let us know.

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