Intermission



L to R: GG, Kimmie, Mrs. Sands (our silent partner!)

It's been quiet around here lately, hasn't it? You may have noticed that we haven't posted anything in a few weeks. (We hope that you've noticed!) We're both doing just fine and our absence has not been arbitrary at all. Matter of fact, we've decided to take an extended break from the blog and it's time that we brought you up to speed. 

When we started Peace Love and Pretty Things in July of 2009, we didn't know what would come of it, but it was exactly what we both needed at the time. We both loved to write but were new to blogging and having an online presence. I don't think either of us ever expected that blogging would increase our creative confidence so much or expose us to so many opportunities. Both of us are now doing freelance work part-time (that we love!) and have our own separate blogs and visions. 

Our lives have become so busy with our work, families and personal endeavors that the time we had to collaborate on PLPT has dwindled significantly. When we would try to get together to talk shop about the blog, we'd end up catching up on each other's lives and just enjoying the comfort of friendship. Our sisterhood always comes first and if we have limited time with each other, business is going to fall by the wayside everytime.

So although we still have a similar vision on where we'd like to take the blog in the future, for now we're taking a step back to focus on other projects and of course, to focus on our friendship. The blog and all the archives will still be here as well as our Facebook page. You can still reach us jointly @PeaceLovePretty and separately @PishPoshPerf (Kim) and @GGReneeWrites (GG). We don't know when we'll be back or when we'll have updates for you, so we hope you'll check back occasionally.

For those of you who aren't familiar, you can also keep up with us on our personal blogs:

 

Pish Posh Perfect is a life and style blog, whose moniker was actually inspired by my son's mocking me about wanting everything to be "pish posh perfect", as he puts it, with my style and in our home! But because I know there are other women out there with similar cravings for beauty and order, I decided to create a space where I could share bits of my healthy, style savvy life; and offer tips to help you to navigate yours as well. It is my hope that you will feel comfortable enough to also share your thoughts and ideas with me. After all, we fabulous ladies have to stick together, right?! So here's to a healthy, stylish and well-organized life!

 

 

All the Many Layers is a personal blog authored by me, GG Renee. Freelance writer and blogger under the influence of three children and conflicting priorities. Known for talking about hair and the meaning of life and somehow making the two subjects seem completely intertwined. I’m into wiggling, squeezing people and not answering the phone. If I could bottle peace of mind and dump gallons and gallons of it into the world's water supply, I would. Since I haven't figured that out yet, I share what I know about it with whoever will listen. I just started an advice column called Ask GG, I’m condensed to 140 characters @GGReneeWrites, and I sprinkle love dust on people when they’re not looking. So watch your back.

We're both hoping that you will keep in touch!!

Lots of Love,
GG and Kim

Read more »

Most Popular PLPT Posts of 2012

As 2013 rolls in, so does another year of blogging for GG and I, and we're eternally grateful for all of you who have been around since the beginning, as well as those of you that have joined us along the way. We so appreciate your reading, commenting, tweeting, Facebooking, and emailing--and we hope you'll continue to roll with us online in the new year!

With every reset in time comes the opportunity to reflect, and so must we on the musings we've written herein. It's always interesting to see what you have liked and responded to, and it seems that the following three posts were your faves in 2012. Hopefully they will inspire someone who hasn't read them previously. Enjoy and here's to an amazing 2013!

Most popular posts in 2012:
6 Soul Searching Questions You Need to Ask Yourself
Pretty Things: Natural in the Summer
What Strong Women Do


*photo via Pinterest

Read more »

Music Review: Liv Warfield

In this PLPT post our music reviewer, Mugure Crawford, sings the praises of Liv Warfield's soulful singles.

Last week I had the pleasure of experiencing Liv Warfield's brand of fresh, live soulful grooves from her two songs "Embrace Me” and “Waiting". The music was featured during her February 2012 performance at the Alberta Rose Theater in Portland, Oregon. And though I didn’t have the honor of being there in person, the recording didn’t disappoint. It was a live set of R&B and funk, with a sprinkle of rock n’ roll; "Alternative Soul" is what we like to call it.

Her melody and lyrics are full of emotion, allowing the listener to develop a deep connection with her message. I know I felt all warm and tingly as I embraced each beat, each vocal and that bass that is sure to leave your head bobbin’ too. During the song "Embrace Me" which is also the title track to her album, she belts confidently, "Can a woman get a little of your lovin", lyrics that would encourage anyone to make that first move in the pursuit of her King. "Waiting", the second song she performed at the Oregon show continues to speak to a woman with a connection to love...a woman who is seeking and envisioning her man in her dreams. It almost seems as if Ms Warfield is not waiting for him to just fall into her lap, but singing him into existence—waiting for the right opportunity to make her move and tell him how she feels--about her needs, her wants and her deepest desires. Wheww! I felt her spirit! In fact, I can't wait to hear more! And if you can't either, check out her tracks, Embrace Me and Waiting, right here! I can guarantee she'll help you with envisioning and singing your song to the man you’re dreaming up too.

-Mugure

photo: source

Read more »

Album Review: Selena McDay’s “Cry With A Smile”

With this post, it is our pleasure to introduce our guest music reviewer, Mugure Crawford. Mugure has extensive experience in the music industry, and we knew there was no one better to tackle this task. Enjoy.

With the current state of R&B/Soul artists and music, one can definitely use a huge dose of some good ole lovin’ and inspirational lyrics. After all, the Hip Hop/Rap Culture has dominated our Urban music world for the last 10-15 years. So you’re looking for that old thing back? Some good ole feel good music? You know the type of music that you won't hear playing in strip club? Look no further than a soulful, up and coming spoken word, soulstress like Selena McDay.

Selena hails from New York City but currently resides in the greater Washington, DC area (affectionately known to locals as the DMV). Selena went back home to the Big Apple not only to stake her claim but to win 1st place in the Apollo Theatre's weekly popular talent show "Showtime At the Apollo", and her very 1st time appearing and she took the top prize! We all know the Apollo don't like no junk, so Selena definitely brought down the house that night I'm sure.

With her debut CD, "Cry With A Smile", she wants you to know just who she is, what she stands for, and what she represents. Her CD is a bright mixture of soulful jazz and sultry R&B, mixed with spoken word--much like fellow stars Jill Scott or Angie Stone. The CD starts out with a clear introduction into Selena McDay as she professes" like McKnight but McDay" which features her radio interview with NYC Urban Adult Station WBLS.

Her featured single, and title to the album “Cry With A Smile” is an upbeat track based on Selena's personal experiences that reminds listeners to hold on, keep the faith, and that even through adversity, it’s okay to cry. You'll be surprised at how everyone goes through problems, so there's no need for you to feel alone or weak; this is how I interpreted this inspirational track. With a total of 16 solid tracks Selena McDay takes you through her journey of personal trials, triumphs, love and relationships.

I look forward to hearing her growth and creativity throughout her road to success in the music industry. After all, it's evident that Selena is a true artist, not afraid to express herself freely...at the drop of a dime, as she explained during her WBLS interview: "I'll sing over this telephone"...Now how many artists are that comfortable in their vocal abilities? As I stated earlier, R&B artists/music just ain't like it use to be. So check out Selena McDay's "Cry With A Smile" CD, sit back and find out what she's all about while, just maybe, finding out a lot more about yourself :).

To learn more about Selena McDay, check out her PLPT GEMS feature here. To access Selena McDay’s debut album, visit her website, SelenaMcDaySings.

Photo: source

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Mugure Crawford’s love for music and radio started in her teens during the golden era of Rap/ Hip Hop Soul of the 1980s & 90s. She was exposed to music of all genres from her East African/Kenyan roots, which included a radio in every room of the house. This led her to pursue Communications as a major in college and she earned her B.A. in Communications from the University of Maryland at College Park in 2001. She currently holds one of her dream jobs working for the SVP of Programming for Radio One Inc. and supporting other Program Directors at Radio One's 53 Radio Stations in 15 Markets across the country. With over 12 years of experience, her career has kept her moving forward with a variety of roles in the radio industry. Mugure looks forward to propelling her career in radio and solidifying her brand as the "it" girl/media specialist with a passion for music & entertainment. Mugure resides in a suburb of Washington DC with her husband Lamon, daughter Laila, & son LJ.

Read more »

Why You Shouldn’t Listen to Well-Meaning Folk

When are you getting married?

When are you having babies?

Weren’t you in law school? What happened?

You’re starting your own business?! But it’s a recession!

We’ve all gotten questions like these at one point or another. Seemingly harmless inquiries that can be, in fact, completely invasive and upsetting to the person expected to respond to them—for various reasons that are likely lost on the person inquiring.

The questions come from family, friends and other “well-meaning folk” with completely good intentions. They want to see us happy. To offer their experience and advice. To see us making the “right” decisions.

The problem is they are planting seeds, igniting insecurities, imposing timelines and setting additional traps on a road that’s probably a bit rocky for you already. They can’t just leave you alone because they think they are helping. What you view as probing and nay saying, they believe to be support.

Ouch. What a tough position to be in.

What you don’t want to do: be rude, shun their support or seem unappreciative.

What you DO want to do: stand firm in your conviction to do things in the way that feels right to you and to live your life on your own terms. Maybe he won’t marry you, maybe you’ll never have children, maybe you decided that law isn’t where your passion lies, and maybe your first attempt at your business will fail. But you will love again, you will find fulfillment in other familial relationships, you’ll develop a new skill and you’ll rebuild your business. Ultimately, you will gain life experience, learn invaluable lessons and discover your own strength and value. And isn’t that what the journey is really all about?

So it’s okay to accept their support, but decline to accept their opinions. It is okay to leave their questions unanswered until you have come to your own conclusions. It is okay to be secure in your decision to enjoy the ride and revel in the present without manipulation. It’s okay to daydream and to set goals without attaching anxiety to the future results. It is completely okay to NOT listen to the well meaning folk in your life. Your heart and your intuition will tell you everything you need to know. Listen to yourself.


Photo via Pinterest

Read more »

A Season of Thanks: What We Are Grateful For

via

We are so grateful for....


Kim

This year has been a season of receiving for me: a new home, a brand new vehicle, a new relationship with an amazing man, and new career & business opportunities. And I am so grateful for it all. It has been overwhelming (in a good way) to see everything that I prayed, visualized and work so hard toward come to fruition. This season of receiving has been proof for me that faith, patience and gratitude for your current circumstances all work in tandem to bring more good into your life in your future.

And through all of these new experiences, I give thanks for those things that have remained constant. My family who continually shows unconditional support for both me and for my son; my wonderful young man, into whom I have poured all my good intentions, and who continues to amaze me with his intelligence and strength of character; my very best friends GG and Vonnie who are my biggest fans and my most clear mirrors, reflecting back to me both my good and those things that I fear and need to push past; and several other wonderful friends who add such value to even the smallest daily interactions, like a g-chat conversation.

I am blessed, on so many levels that I just can't think of any reason not to express gratitude in this season of Thanksgiving and every other day of the year.

GG

I have so much to be thankful for that it's hard to know where to begin.   I'll start with the inside then work my way out.  I'm thankful for the realization that everything in life is about gratitude. I know that I must give thanks for the goodness that I wish to receive in my life before I receive it. I must give thanks in the midst of hard times and appreciate the lessons learned; then give more thanks when the challenges are overcome and when life moves on.  I'm thankful for my career, the discovery of my purpose and every opportunity to continue to feed my passions and stretch myself.   I'm thankful for having this platform, Peace Love and Pretty Things, to commune with like minded women.  I'm so thankful for my friend and co-author, Kim, who I'm able to share something so unique and mutually beneficial with by partnering with her to develop this blog. I'm thankful for all of my friends and family who remind me that I am loved when I need to hear it most.  I'm thankful for my health, my home and all of the things that make life cozy and comfortable.  I hope that I remember every minute of every day to count my blessings, appreciate what I have and have an attitude of thankfulness in everything that I do.

In this season of Thanksgiving, we just wanted to take a moment and express our gratitude for all the wonderful things in our lives--including the beautiful platform we have in PLPT, and all the wonderful readers that we get to commune with weekly. We are grateful for you! Please feel free to share what you're grateful for in the comments section.

Have a safe and happy Thanksgiving holiday!

Read more »

Shea Radiance Aha Moment Competition

We recently learned about the Shea Radiance Aha Moment Competition, and we were thrilled about it for a few reasons:

1. If you've been reading this blog long enough, or you have read our "About" page, then you know all about our "aha moments" in regards to self-transformation (you can read the original post here ), and that the sharing of such stories fits right into our mission here at PLPT. 

2. GG and I both have natural hair, and we have each posted our transition stories here at PLPT (you can read GG's here and mine here).

3. We want to enter and score those yummy products! We are not involved with the backroom portion of this contest, nor will we have any influence over the selection of winners. So these great prizes are fair play!

Of course, we wanted to share this info with our fabulous readers as well, so here are the details:

Share Your Hair AHA Moment . . . And WIN!

To celebrate the launch of Shea Radiance Hair, we want YOU to share your hair "aha” moment. That’s the moment when you embraced your hair whether curly, fine, kinky, straight or wavy.

Eleven (11) lucky winners will be selected and they’ll receive full sized bottles of the Shea Radiance Hair Kit – Shea Radiance Maximum Moisturizing Shampoo, Shea Radiance Maximum Moisturizing Conditioner and Shea Radiance Hair Milk.

To Win 1) Tell us about you hair aha moment in 200 words or less and include a picture of your mane to customer@shearadiance.com 2) Like Shea Radiance on Facebook 3) Follow Shea Radiance on Twitter.

Best of luck to all who enter!

Read more »

Musical Inspiration: Artists You Should Know

     
Were any of you able to attend the Autumn Soul Session Vol. 2 that went down in DC in early October? 

This event featured two up and coming artists that you definitely should check out:

http://www.deborahbond.com/

Vol. 2 of the Autumn Soul Session featured the self-proclaimed "people watcher, dreamer and lover of philosophy", Debórah Bond (pronounced De-BOR-rah).  She credits Anita Baker, Chaka Khan, and Sade as the roots which shaped her sound. Her unique and "eclectic mix of R&B, funk and British soul" receives accolades from fans and critics worldwide. The debut album "DayAfter", and the remix album "AfterDay", established Deborah Bond's reputation as both a deeply sensitive, spiritual, sincere artist and a funky diva with captivating stage presence. Check out the video for the single"See You In My Dreams", currently in heavy rotation on VH1 Soul.

Deborah and her band/production team Third Logic are proud to announce the release of Madam Palindrome (7/17). This album is a confident, bold, and artistic creative statement.  The new single from Madam Palindrome "You Are the One" is now available on itunes and cdbaby.com. Debórah and her band take pride in creating music that has no boundaries, that goes beyond age, race, or creed.

http://www.levistephens.com/

Armed with his guitar, Levi Stephens chooses to follow in the tradition of those classic singer-songwriters that came before. Levi is an acoustic soul singer-songwriter who is intent on making a difference through his music by crafting songs that evoke an array of emotions and connect him to his audience by fostering a sense of familiarity through a shared laugh, shared heartache and a shared love of song. His debut album, “This Way” goes far beyond the confines of R&B and seamlessly melds a variety of genres, from soul to rock to gospel to folk.  Check out Levi's music here and here and visit his website here. 

*************

The artist overviews above are from the official press release by TheLiveSuite.   Follow Organic Fusion on twitter @organic_fusion or go to their website www.OrganicFusionGroup.com to stay abreast of live musical events and more independent artists you should know! 

Read more »

LivSuite Presents . . . Autumn Soul Sessions Vol. 2

The ladies of Organic Fusion sent us information about a great event happening in the DC area on this Sunday, October 9th; and we wanted to pass it along to our readers who might be nearby and want to attend. The Autumn Soul Session Vol. 2 will feature Deborah Bond, Levi Stephens and Shae Fiol as the host. They flyer is below, and you can visit TheLivSuite website for more info.

Send us feedback if you guys attend! We'd love to know what you thought of the show.

Read more »

It's Not As Bad As You Think

A friend sent this to me last week, and I thought it would be good for a little Monday morning perspective.  While these are extreme examples, they serve as good reminders. The emotional, mental and physical trials we face are certainly real for us, and we must endure them to learn and to become stronger; and often it is difficult to see good in our lives while we're in the midst of our troubles. These little notes serve as reminders that it could always be worse. We have to be thankful for the good that prevails in our lives, even when there are areas that we would like to see improved.

Wishing you a peaceful, productive week filled with gratitude for what is, as opposed to despair over what could be.

Read more »

How to be Happy by Sri Swami Satchidananda

Today has been rough for me, Lovelies. I feel a little frustrated and quite drained, but I didn't want that to keep me from posting. So, instead of an original post, I am sharing something that has helped me today. It reminded me to be present and  patient; and that no matter what happens throughout the day, it's my choice to be happy. My current circumstances don't dictate my state of mind. Despite repeating this in my head, sometimes it helps to see it and read it again. Another fantastic post on this subject resides right here at PLPT (click here to read). Hope these help you too.

How to Be Happy
By H. H. Sri Swami Satchidananda (source)

If you observe carefully, throughout nature you will find one common goal in everybody and everything—even in the atom. All are searching for happiness. In the case of human beings you see hundreds of efforts of various forms. The common purpose behind all these efforts is the search for happiness.

The goal is approached by many in different ways. Some people want to be happy quickly, so they take short cuts and get temporary happiness, but borrowed joy comes and goes. The happiness that we seem to be getting by our daily efforts is fleeting and mixed with a lot of troubles, worries, and unhappiness. Happiness cannot come without unhappiness before and after.

It's better to say, "I am happy," than, "I want to be happy." The minute you say, "I want to be happy," that very want disturbs the mind. And suppose the want is fulfilled? How many people go crazy over a small piece of paper, a stamp printed some one hundred years ago? They pay thousands of dollars to get that piece of paper. They give value to it and struggle to obtain it. If you are caught up in this, you'll say, "I can't be happy without the stamp." So you pay the price. Then you say, "Ah, I got it." It's simple enough. First you said, "I want it." After all the effort you say, "I got it." Where are you now? The same place you were before you wanted it. Happy.

You were happy before you wanted the stamp. The moment you wanted it, you became unhappy. And the moment you got it, you were happy again. Where did the happiness come from? The thing by itself didn't give you any happiness. You regained the happiness when you took the want back or when you fulfilled the cavity or depression created by the want.

When we finally tire of searching for happiness outside, we sit quietly and analyze and realize that true and lasting happiness can never come from outside. It can't come because it simply is. You are Happiness personified. You are that Supreme Bliss. You are that Joy. You are the image of happiness. God is the one who is always happy, and you are the image of God.

When you forget your true nature and look for happiness in external ways, that is the basic ignorance. The aim of all the Yoga practices is to stop anything from disturbing the mind so that it can reflect the Peace and Joy that is your true nature.

Read more »

Happy Black Woman Happy Hour Recap

At the end of January, Kim and I had the extreme pleasure of attending the first Happy Black Woman Happy Hour in Washington DC.  If you're not familiar with the Happy Black Woman blog, you are definitely missing out and need to check it out immediately.  The happy black woman behind the blog, Rosetta Thurman, recently rolled out a 31 Day Reset program that her readers are raving about.  Many of us who participated in this program and live in the DC metro area attended the happy hour.

It's absolutely true what they say about the importance of surrounding yourself with positive people.    The energy is infectious.  Over drinks and appetizers, everyone shared bits and pieces of their backgrounds, projects, dreams and challenges.  The common theme was that every woman there was on a journey to live their best lives and find passion and purpose in their contributions to the world.

Let's do it again soon!  Spring, anyone?  Next time, we better make sure they have wings!  (LOL @ Rosetta :) 

Read more »

You Give Me Butterflies...Notes about Love and Relationships



credit

Lately when I look into your eyes I realize

You're the only one I need in my life

Baby I just don't know how to describe

How lovely you make me feel inside

You give me butterflies

Got me flying so high in the sky

I can't control the butterflies

~Alicia Keys "Butterflies"

Difficult Relationships
Our relationships give us opportunities to explore the breadth of our own unique being and to become accepting of ourselves, which is the starting place for acceptance of others. Too often in our relationships, we focus on the disruptive behavior of others rather than our own...Read More

About Love
"To love is to risk being disappointed, let down and broken hearted and be vulnerable anyway. Love and freedom both require risk. It's not about whether someone else lives up to your expectations...Read More

Love and Sacrifice 101
Consider the idea that love is not about expectations and demands but finding a middle ground on which two people feel respected and treasured as individuals... Read More

The Start of Something New
It is always exciting when something (or someone) new happens in our lives. The pleasure and the giddy anticipation of what could be tickle our fancies and send our imaginations running wild...Read More

Me Me Me
It can seem like a difficult pill to swallow sometimes, but there's really no one on earth who can make us happy. We get trapped into thinking "If he would only..." Read More

Read more »

Happy Black Girl Day: Top Black Girl Pride Moments of 2010

***We are still under construction!  Bear with us as we continue to post during our makeover!!***
***Today's post was originally posted on The Fresh Xpress on 12/30/2010***



In 2010, Black women had a rockin', self-lovin', no limit kind of year. Is it just me, or is there a refreshing energy pulsating through the collective spirit of black womanhood these days? More of us are realizing that we each have a unique purpose and the capability to realize it in spite of the obstacles that once held us captive. There are many examples of excellence, individuality, talent and grit from last year. These are just a few.

Michelle Obama - An Iconic First Lady
As expected, Michelle Obama has been a First Lady that we can actually relate to and emulate. She is adored for her intelligence and accessibility. She is loved not just because she's Black, but because she is Michelle Robinson Obama - working mom, loving wife, lawyer, community activist, and stylista. She takes her daughters to Beyonce concerts and has date nights with her husband. We've seen her advocate, dance, nurture, cry, educate, sass the press when necessary and ride or die with her man with the cameras rolling and not a hair out of place. Because of her example, many young black girls are saying "Yes, I can."

Mo'Nique - Best Supporting Actress Oscar
Mo'Nique beat the odds and silenced the critics this year by winning the Oscar for Best Supporting Actress for her role in Precious. She shocked all of us when she became Mary Jones, an ignorant, wretched character, whose very existence offended and outraged audiences. As a woman who had also been abused and misguided, Mo'Nique was able to draw on personal experience to bring the character to life. Mo'Nique shows us what can happen when we tune out negativity, work hard, and dream the undreamable.

Gabourey Sidibe - Elle Magazine Cover
Elle Magazine included Gabourey Sidibe, another breakout star from Precious, in their 25th anniversary October issue, which featured 25 women in their twenties who were doing big things in entertainment. This was a worthy nod for Gabby, particularly after Vanity Fair snubbed her earlier in the year for their Fresh Faces of 2010 issue. Regardless of what we think about how Gabby was styled and made up for the Elle cover, she was included and that's what matters. Let's focus on the accomplishment and celebrate her for making strides in a biased industry with a narrow perception of beauty. Her talent speaks for itself, and her gracious, self-loving personality will continue to sustain her through the critical acclaim that will surely follow her career. In her own words, “When I was 14 or 15, I saw myself in a different way. Back then, I envied a life that I’d made up in my mind. I broke free of that unhappiness and I decided to change—I was going to be happy with myself. No matter what I look like, no matter what people think.”

Beverly Bond - Black Girls Rock Awards
Black Girls Rock, Inc. is a non-profit organization founded by DJ Beverly Bond to inspire and empower young girls. The Black Girls Rock Awards was nationally televised on BET in November, and was a phenomenal celebration of Black women and girls who are lighting up the world with their gifts, giving back to their communities, and just being generally outstanding people. It isn't that Black women didn't know that we rock prior to the show, or that we were previously insecure about our beauty and strength; it was simply that we loved seeing our fellow Black women being appreciated, loved, and revered by each other. So often our haunting issues are highlighted in film, in music etc--here was a moment where only our beauty and accomplishment were the focal points. Even now, three months later, my five year old daughter is constantly telling me all of the reasons why she rocks. Apparently, she got the message loud and clear.

Tyler Perry’s For Colored Girls
Tyler Perry's movie is based on Ntozake Shange's Tony Award-winning Broadway play, "For Colored Girls Who Have Considered Suicide When the Rainbow is Enuf." Thank you, Tyler Perry, for bringing together this all-star cast of talented and revered black actresses to create a milestone moment in black film history. Thank you, Ntozake Shange, for writing such a painful, soulful piece of performance art that would stand the test of time and give voice to the silent suffering of so many Black women. Let's not miss the brilliance of the forest for the criticism of the trees with this one. Whether or not you appreciated Perry's adaptation, the reincarnation of this piece of work is something to applaud. The mental and emotional health of Black women is such a taboo subject in our culture and it needs to be uncovered.

Willow Smith - Whip My Hair
Willow Smith took the airwaves by storm this year with her girl power anthem, Whip My Hair. Whether she knows it or not, little Miss Willow just whipped her hair right into role model status for other little girls. All over the world, little girls have found an exuberant, creative hero whose message of individuality and determination is clear. The song represents the freedom to be unique, to defy stereotypes and labels, and to believe in the power of self-expression.

Sesame Street - I Love My Hair
Sesame Street writer Joey Mazzarino created this song/video with his adopted black daughter in mind. When his daughter began expressing disdain at her naturally curly, textured hair, Mazzarino took a creative approach to boost her self-appreciation that would resonate with his daughter and ultimately Black America as a whole. So, maybe it is just hair, but we can't deny that as Black women, our hair identity is connected to our self-image and esteem. It is deeply ingrained in our culture that nappy hair is bad hair and silky hair is good hair. In order for us to change this destructive belief, we have to condition our children to believe their hair is beautiful in its natural state. Natural hair acceptance can really be a building block for healthy self-esteem in all aspects of a young girl's life. As the song says "My hair is part of me, an awesome part of me, I really love my hair."

The Natural Hair Movement
However you choose to rock your tresses, you couldn't miss the widespread natural hair movement if you tried. There are more celebrities rocking their natural hair, more images of natural women on television, and a more widespread acceptance of curly, kinky hairstyles. This is a trend that should make us all proud as we evolve from the idea that only straight hair is beautiful. As women of color, we will become a stronger force in the world by welcoming our own diversity and honoring the many manifestations of our beauty.

Comeback Queens - Monica, Brandy, Fantasia
Celebrities go through the hard knocks of life like we all do, but they are forced to do it with cameras and reporters in their faces. These songstresses have all gone through personal tragedy in the public eye and emerged powerful and resilient. Brandy came back with a successful stint on Dancing with the Stars and her own reality show. Fantasia and Monica both released new albums—each garnering two grammy nominations. These ladies are still standing and still thriving. While there's no true inspiration in perfection, we can be inspired by stories of faith and survival. The lives of these women are human interest stories for those of us who may feel beaten up by life and need a reason to believe that we too can overcome.

As you can see, 2010 showed us that our Black is most definitely beautiful, enlightened and well-positioned for unprecedented change. What moments in 2010 made you proud to be a Black woman?
 
For more information on Happy Black Girl Day, visit The Beautiful Struggler.

Read more »

Black Girls Rock!

If you somehow missed tonight's presentation of Black Girls Rock on BET, I implore you to find it online or to catch the repeat on Tuesday night at 8pm. Black Girls Rock was a phenomenal celebration of Black women and girls who are lighting up the world with their gifts, giving back to their communities, and just being generally outstanding people.

There were so many amazing Black women in the audience and on stage. Those celebrated, to name just a few, included Iyanla Vanzant, Raven Symone, Keke Palmer and Ruby Dee. I found myself clapping feverishly in my living room at Iyanla's rousing acceptance speech "..Black girls rock because we have no other choice. We have no other choice but to honor our grandmothers and great grandmothers and those who walk and stand in the embodiment, the female flesh form of the Creator. We have a responsibility to rock the world, to rock the community, to rock our families, to rock the planet--so that our grandmothers will know that they did not die in vain!" I almost cried at Ruby Dee's breaking down her legacy presentation to say that part of the word "legacy" is "leg"--and that she hopes to be the leg that the next generation can stand on. I couldn't help but smile at how radiant and beautiful everyone, including host Nia Long, looked. There was a joy that just radiated from the eyes and faces of everyone in the room.

The musical performances were touching as well--including an amazing rendition of Nina Simone's "Four Women" performed by Marsha Ambrosius, Jill Scott, Ledisi and Kelly Price; as well as a version of "I'm Every Woman" that closed out the show. Monica, Keri Hilson and Fantasia sang their hearts out as well.

It would be impossible to target a high point of the show because this was truly just a fantastic presentation from start to finish. It has left me feeling proud, inspired, refreshed, renewed, invigorated and ready to conquer the world! It isn't that Black women didn't already know that we rock, or weren't already secure in our beauty and strength, but instead it is that we loved seeing our fellow Black women being appreciated, loved, and revered by each other. That's the real story of so many Black women in real life. So often our haunting issues are highlighted in film, in music etc--here was a moment where only our beauty and accomplishment were the focal points. And it did not arrive a moment too soon! Thank you so much to Beverly Bond, the founder of Black Girls Rock and to BET for giving us a forum.

I've taken away so many beautiful quotes from the women of Black Girls Rock that need to be shared. I have adopted so many new mantras and affirmations that I’ll continue to carry with me. I hope they speak to you too!

“You can’t take my joy, cause you didn’t give it to me.” ~Monica

“Don’t try to be a special person. You ARE a special person.” ~Marcelite Harris

“Black girls need to be reminded that they rock from the inside out.” ~Iyanla Vanzant

“The world will tell black girls that they can’t rock—that they don’t rock. But a ha! We all know they do.” ~Iyanla Vanzant

“When you grow up being told you’re less than special, you sometimes act less than special.” ~Beverly Bond

"I've been told No more than I've been told Yes. I love being told No. I always say - You're obviously not the person I should be talking to." ~Raven Symone

"I rock because sometimes I'm scared and that's alright. I rock because I'm not afraid to cry. I rock because I'm loved and I'm able to love. I rock...I rock." ~Anika Noni-Rose

“I know enough to know I’m not yet where I’m going to be...I’m always becoming.” ~Ruby Dee

I rock because I’ve learned that where I’m going is more important than where I’ve been, and that everything I’ve done has served me in some capacity. I rock because I’m so hooked on growth and knowledge that I’ll never stop growing and learning. I rock because I’m no longer afraid to be authentic—I rock out loud!

Ladies, why do you rock??

Read more »

Just a Touch of Love...A Little Bit

source


As we head into the weekend, please take some time to show yourself some love. Focus on what you love about yourself and make peace with your complexity. Replenish your spirit, ladies! You are the only one who can do it. Take your power back and show yourself all the attention and love that you may be missing from the world. It all starts with you. We hope the following posts will help you get started!

Enough!
There was a time, not very long ago, where I found myself trapped in a constant state of “not enough”. I felt I wasn’t pretty/skinny/educated/rich/savvy/talented enough. I felt like “less than”. I compared myself to others waaay to often. “I’m not as fabulous as she is. I wish my relationship was like theirs. I wish I had as much money as she does. She’s prettier than me. Her hair is so much longer than mine.….” It was never ending. Read more...

Mirror Mirror On the Wall
I’m finally believing the idea that there is no benchmark for beauty and that how I feel about myself determines how I look. It’s my business to feel good on my own terms without apology or fear of judgment. This is the hottest trend , the fashion must-have, the magical beauty secret of all fabulous women: Believe you are beautiful and beautiful you will be. Read more...

About Labels
Often, we feel hurt or sad because of our attachments to people and things. There is absolutely nothing wrong with attachment as it is a very natural human thing. But, we have to be able to let go of these same things when the Universe says it is time--and this is where we tend to feel emotional. The key is to remember that the very things that cause us to feel hurt or sad are often things that Life is trying to move out of our way to make room for things that are bigger and better for us. Read more...

The Ugly Truth
It’s important to me not to just feel better or to look better but to BE better. And that can only happen if I'm honest--with myself and everyone around me about the good about me and the not-so-good about me. Honest about where I'm flawed, and then thoughtful enough to fix it. It is only with eyes and soul wide open that I can see the holes in me, let them gape open, and dive way down deep inside them to figure out how they got there; then slowly begin to fill them from the inside out. Read more...

Do you see what I see?
When you look in the mirror, what do you see?Your imperfections? Your big this or small that? Do you see a reflection of criticism, thoughtless comments and judgments?...Do you see a victim that has been lied to, betrayed, misunderstood and cast aside? Do you see someone who has fallen short? Do you see defeat?...Or do you see what I see? Beauty is a state of mind, you know. So for beauty to spring forth from your mind, you must think it before you can see it. Read more..

Tonight, I plan to relax and spend some time writing. I've put it on the back burner all week so I could tackle other things. I'm so excited to finally get all of my half developed thoughts out! What are you going to do for yourself this weekend?

Read more »

So Emotional, Baby

Tonight as I was washing dishes, I suddenly found myself at first humming, and eventually singing, Whitney Houston’s “You Give Good Love” at the top of my lungs. This, of course, led to my tracking it down on iLike, and subsequently seeking out “So Emotional” and “Where Do Broken Hearts Go”; pretty soon, I was creating a new Whitney inspired Pandora station.

Music is funny that way. It can reach down and touch emotions, and retrieve sensory memories long forgotten. I remember exactly what my life was like when Whitney was belting out sultry pop tunes and heartfelt ballads. I can easily recall what my room looked like, what I wore and how I felt whenever I heard those strong vocals piercing through the air. I even got a Casio keyboard one Christmas around that time that came with sheet music for several Whitney songs!

My emotional responses are just as strong even now. From the first chord, I am no more able to keep my fingers from popping than my head from bobbing or my lips from spreading into a cheesy grin. It’s just plain old “feel good” music; the kind that makes you want to shimmy, shake your shoulders and dance all over the kitchen, using a slotted spoon as a faux microphone--without an ounce of shame.

How refreshing, after a long day of serious adult business, to be able to let go and enjoy such a simple, unexpected pleasure.

Read more »

Living Off the Wall - One Year Later

One year ago today, we lost a creative genius and icon of music, love and originality.   When I think about Michael Jackson, I feel a mixture of sadness, admiration, and joy.  His music and dancing brought so much inspiration into this world that it's hard to believe that anyone could deny that it was his gift and purpose to do so; and that we are all blessed to have been touched by him.

He was idolized, labeled, accused, and adored and he bore the weight of all those things.  His life reminds me to live my life on my own terms regardless of people's praise or blame.  

Below is a repost by Chic Mommy from last year.  We miss you MJ!




"Cause we're the party people night and day. Livin' crazy that's the only way. So tonight, gotta leave that 9 to 5 up on the shelf, and just enjoy yourself. Groove. Let the madness and the music get to you. Life aint so bad at all."

Certainly the untimely death of Pop icon, Michael Jackson, has reminded us all of how fragile life is. Michael once said in an interview that he felt his life was meant to touch people and that he was supposed to do that through his music. He did what he loved and I think that one lesson we can learn from him is that it's so important for us all to do the same--no matter how much flack or criticism we get or what other people think. We have to be ferocious and unafraid in pursuit of our dreams and unrelenting in our desire to touch others in a positive way. Life is so much better when we shake off stress and just LIVE to the best of our own abilities. We should live "off the wall", "dance into the sunlight", moonwalk, ask ourselves "Who's bad?", be dancing machines, Beat It, Don't Stop Til We Get Enough, and Work It Day and Night. By creating an aura of peace and happiness around ourselves, we create a shared peace that is sure to be infectious to others.

"Do what you want to do. There ain’t no rules, its up to you."
-Michael Jackson, "Off the Wall"

Read more »

Ingrained Responses

The emotional responses ingrained in our brains are strange things. They can be triggered by people, places, smells, songs...basically anything that our brain recognizes as associated with a specific era or event in our lives.

For example, a little while ago on the way to a girlfriend's home, my son told me that when we pass the field where he plays football (which is very near her home) he gets butterflies in his stomach. He said that being near the field immediately calls pre-game nervousness to memory for him; a recollection of wondering whether he and his teammates were going to play well, to win or to lose. Similarly, as I scrolled through Facebook statuses recently, I came upon one written by my high school boyfriend reminiscing about cookouts at his childhood home. I "liked" the status, then proceeded to click to see who the other 5 people were who had also liked the status. One of them was his cousin, who I met for the first time at one such event and still like very much--a pleasant sensory recollection; another was the girl for whom he'd broken up with me to date ever so briefly during my senior year--a very negative sensory recollection that had me immediately up in arms wondering how he could DARE be friends with her, and that sent my brain on a temporary tailspin with flashes of memory from that year.

Um, what the heck?! For starters, it's Facebook--a funny, silly pastime, not to be taken seriously or looked upon as a reflection of anyone's "real" life. And not only was high school a lifetime ago, but I also have nothing more than a passing, friendly interest in this ex's life and no desire to be with him again. In short, I don't really care. But apparently I may have unresolved issues from the way our relationship ended. This was my first real, long-term relationship, and at 17, I didn't know how to deal with what I was feeling--so did I bury a great deal of it? Probably. And though he and I have remained intermittently in touch, we've never discussed what went wrong.

I think it's amazing what we can hold on to without even realizing it, and that this is a good reminder to always allow ourselves to feel what we feel, and to work through it--even if we don't come up with the answers right away. We just never know what could be buried deep inside, coloring our perceptions, or threatening to suddenly disrupt our peace without our knowledge or consent.

Read more »

Not Feelin' It

Sometimes....I just don't feel like writing. Sure, there's a lot of writing that I should get done, but I just don't feel like it! Sometimes, I don't want to do housework. I don't want to cook, clean, straighten or do laundry; yes, I realize those towels have been sitting unfolded on the couch for a week, but I'm sorry--I don't want to fold them. There are times when I don't want to watch TV--the reality shows are too silly, the dramas are too dramatic and the comedies are too unfunny. Nothing you can show me can entertain me in these moments. There are times when I don't want to go anywhere, but instead wish to sit, curled up in the little nook of my sofa--the only place I can imagine ever needing to be. I love my family and friends, but I don't want to talk. I don't want to text, email, tweet, facebook or instant message; as a matter of fact, I just have to turn my phone off. At some moments, all I want to do is sip my mug of green tea...or bury myself in a good book and let my imagination run wild in some alternate universe of someone else's creation...or cocoon within my sheets and comforter...or sit and stare at the four walls. Occasionally, I want/need/have to just do absolutely nothing and not feel guilty about it.

I'm not sure why it is that I have moments where I feel this way. But I do pause to wonder if I am the only one who does. I wonder: "Is it that my estrogen levels are raising and falling at such a rate that they cancel each other out and render me emotionally mute? Do I focus so much, work so hard and multi-task so fervently that my mind and body are forced to shut down every once in a while just so they can reboot? Am I subconsciously upset at some perceived injustice that is disrupting my peace? Am I borderline depressed--should I get a referral to see someone?! Or maybe, I'm being ridiculously dramatic and this is just ole' familiar laziness creeping in. Perhaps I should be pushing myself to write, work, and fold right on through this funk." These, and other random thoughts, they crawl/walk/run underneath and on top of each other through my brain when this feeling (or lack thereof) settles in.

There is something that I do know for sure: each occurrence of this kind will pass. I have to feel it, ride it out and do my best to explore it. I have to let it engulf me when it comes around because I just need to. (No, I honestly haven't come up with a better explanation than that.) But before I know it, I'll be focused again and off running at full speed working, writing, parenting, socializing and any other -ings that I can cram into my days. So during such times...just for a few moments, I let myself just...be.

Read more »