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I wish I could say that my inner confidence is not at all tied to my appearance. But that would be a damn lie. Truthfully, when I feel pretty; I feel more confident. As I get older, however, what makes me feel pretty has changed quite a bit. I'm more driven by my opinion of myself than the opinion of others. I realize that sometimes people just won't get it and I'm cool with that. Are you?
You know, it never ceases to amaze me how quickly people will give you their (negative) opinion of how you look, what you have on, if you've gained or lost weight, etc. Isn't it awesome to arrive somewhere feeling good and be told that you're looking heavier these days? Or that you have bags under your eyes? Or maybe that your hair is breaking off or falling out? I love those unsolicited comments, don't you?!
Seriously though, comments like those can put a damper on your whole day. You might feel self-conscious or uncomfortable in your skin as a result. I wish I could tell you some magical solution to make you immune to the opinions of others. But honestly, as women, we all know that there are days when we're just not feeling our inner and outer energies radiating harmoniously the way we would like. Sometimes all it takes is for someone to push the wrong button and we're thrown off for the whole day.
The truth is that even these seemingly yucky days, wrought with insecurity, can be turned into stepping stones if we use them to change how we think about self-confidence. What I mean is, challenge yourself to feel confident no matter what anyone says. Many of us only think we look good when other people tell us that we do. Remember that feeling beautiful and confident starts in your mind. Your ability to love yourself will exude radiance no matter what is going on with your external self. Develop your inner beauty and you will always feel good about yourself. And when you feel good about yourself, you will look good.
I'm sure you've seen women who are so confident and comfortable in their skin that they can pull off any outfit, any hairdo and look like perfection. All of us can have that kind of confidence. Own your individuality. Your authentic style should be tied to who you are and where you are in your life. Own your body, your skin, and your hair and love them when they cooperate and when they don't. Don't feed into negative comments and certainly don't deprecate yourself. As you become more sure of yourself, the force of your mojo will become strong within you and will shine outward! This attitude will become just as much a part of your style as the clothes you wear and how you rock them.
Here are some more posts on inner beauty and personal style:
Authenticity: Always in Style
5 Ways to Outwardly Showcase Your Inner Pretty
Face Time
Do You See What I See?
Prayer for Beauty
Now, how do you overcome your insecurities about your physical appearance? Share your tips with us!
2 comments:
I love this. I felt the same way about relying too much on my appearance to set the tone. So I stopped wearing make up for like a week and although I didn't keep it up (lol) it made me realize that I like to feel prepared and put together and that's what I try to portray when I get ready in the morning. Small redirection but it helped me understand that I wasn't just being shallow :-)
I've done this before too, Jess! i've also gone to run errands looking particularly unfancified on purpose just to see if people treat me differently. And you know what, many people did! But I find that if I'm looking rough and i'm walking around with my shoulders slouched and my energy is yucky, that's one thing. But whether I'm fancy or not, having a positive attitude and a smile on my face attracts more positive encounters and interactions without fail.
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