It's all fun and games and positive affirmations when you're trying to accomplish something. But how about when you actually get the gig and you’re like “Oh Sh*t!”, what do I do now? How will I have time for this and everything else on my plate? What if I don’t live up to expectations?
This is it. This is what you’ve prayed about, visualized, and spoke into existence. And now that it’s here in your lap, you’re freaking out.
Maybe I shouldn’t speak for you. You’re probably poised and capable at all times. Not a hair or a mission statement out of place. That’s okay. I see you. And one of these days I’ll be like you.
But for now, I freak out. I question myself and I worry. All the while, there’s a calm place inside of me that knows without a shadow of doubt that doors will open, growth will occur, and amazing things are ahead. I try to live from that place as much as possible and let its enduring calm reign over my thoughts and my perception of things.
While on the subject of thoughts, I haven’t achieved supreme mastery over my thoughts just yet. Wouldn’t that be lovely? I feel like I’d be a zen rock star if I had complete control over my many musings.
No mean thoughts. No bad memories resurfacing. No paranoia.
But even with my wanderlust of a mind, I do know how to redirect my thoughts when they turn disturbia. First, you can’t dwell on things that bring you down. Second, no overthinking. Finally, no player hating or cock blocking. Even the mental kind. Those things cause inertia. Inertia keeps you from getting what you really want.
We know that getting what we want can be scary, so let’s all take a moment and make a list of what we are so afraid of. Let’s call the monsters out! Having a dream fulfilled is supposed to be a triumphant moment, so what are the drawbacks (whether real or bogus) that cause us to get cold feet when opportunity knocks? I’ll go first!
I worry that…
…my children, relationship, family and friends will not receive enough attention and support from me if I’m so occupied with my career and personal projects
…I won’t have the creative capacity to keep coming up with fetching ideas, thus my work will get boring
…people won’t “get” me/won't receive me well
…my income won’t be reliable or sustainable
...as an introvert, I'll struggle with networking and other ghastly things that I don't enjoy but are necessary
...I'll quit when things get tough.
What else? Share your little thought monsters with me below. I bet they'll seem small and unreasonable when you see them written down.
7 comments:
I SO needed to read this today. I began a new position January 3rd and have immersed myself in reading books to deal with my introversion. The current book is called "Quiet" by Susan Cain, and I am taking my time to absorb its contents. I have had concerns about my fears, yet I know that once enough time passes I will look back and ask myself "what exactly did I work myself up over?"
Thank you for this post! Be well,
Dorian
My thought monsters are "maybe I don't have "it" in me to get to where I want to be or need to be." or just simply "I'm afraid." I also find myself settling for my "second choice" or mediocrity, when, deep down, one of my biggest fears is being ordinary and mediocre.
Thank you, as always, for being so transparent
Wow! I had a moment of, did I write this?? Recently I responded to a challenge to declare publicly on Facebook that I was a writer....Since then...Younguesses it, I haven't been able to write a word. I worry that won't achieve my dream of seeing my thoughts and ideas published.
@Dorian That book is on my list too! I can't wait to read it. Congrats on your new position. One of the things Ioften write about is exploiting our perceived "weaknesses" (introversion is of course not a weakness but sometimes we think of it that way, you know)...
@Shar Oh yes, me too. "Doubt your doubts" - when your inner critic gets chatty, believe the opposite of what it tells you. And if you're afraid of mediocrity, use that to your advantage. Vulnerability is scary at first but when you push yourself, it's empowering.
@Melissa Be patient with yourself. Try to just sit down & start writing w/out judgement of what's coming out. Eventually your your thoughts will start coming together. I've been there! Sometimes it takes a couple days to get past it but never doubt that you WILL get past it. It also helps to do something else creative other than writing to get help get your juices flowing again.
@Dorian That book is on my list too! I can't wait to read it. Congrats on your new position. One of the things Ioften write about is exploiting our perceived "weaknesses" (introversion is of course not a weakness but sometimes we think of it that way, you know)...
@Shar Oh yes, me too. "Doubt your doubts" - when your inner critic gets chatty, believe the opposite of what it tells you. And if you're afraid of mediocrity, use that to your advantage. Vulnerability is scary at first but when you push yourself, it's empowering.
@Melissa Be patient with yourself. Try to just sit down & start writing w/out judgement of what's coming out. Eventually your your thoughts will start coming together. I've been there! Sometimes it takes a couple days to get past it but never doubt that you WILL get past it. It also helps to do something else creative other than writing to get help get your juices flowing again.
I worry that I won't be able to get into medical school.
I worry that I won't live up to my fullest potential.
I worry that I won't be able to sustain my relationship.
I worry that my friends and boyfriend will get tired of me.
I worry that other people will not think I am pretty
I worry that I will one day wake up and be not attractive :(
I worry that I won't live up to my potential.
Wow. I just started a new job last week and I was literally freaking out today. This completely describes my feelings. You are so effin awesome for posting this. Thank you so much :)
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