Thursday, August 27, 2009

Raw


Part of our divine right on this planet is to be loved, and part of our universal power is to give love--abundantly/unselfishly/unabashedly. As women, we're designed to love as mothers/ sisters/friends/wives/ girlfriends/teachers/neighbors--you name it. We're supposed to give raw/unfiltered/unedited love that heals/cleanses/supports/uplifts/consumes/creates and re-creates. And we do. We allow ourselves to be open, raw, emotional and vulnerable. We cloak those surrounding us in love and hope that they keep the circle going so the love comes right back to us...

But what do we do when that doesn't happen? When that raw emotion becomes a sore so deep it leaves a gaping hole in our souls? When butterflies flutter so furiously in our stomachs we can hardly eat? When our hearts thump so loudly we can't hear ourselves think. When the hurt/betrayal/manipulation run rampant, confusing us, clouding our judgment and cutting off our breath? How do we navigate out of the darkest places in our beings that we retreat to when it all just becomes too much?

Maybe we just keep believing in love. Believing that no matter how much it hurts right now, it won't hurt forever. Believing that when we get cut off from one source, we'll find love flowing more abundantly in another stream. Believing ourselves worthy of reciprocal, unconditional, sugary sweet, soul shaking, understanding, hand-holding, stress reducing, forever kind of love that doesn't lie to us, steal from us or eat away at our spirits. Believe ourselves to be strong enough to survive either way--cause we're made like that too. Our armor might crack but we never break, and we never give up halfway through the battle. We know that there's learning and growth in the fight and that there is "better" on the other side of the battlefield.

I've felt weak, hurt, lied to, misunderstood, betrayed, and cheated. But I am strong, loving, honest, communicative, loyal and resilient. I refuse to let any set of circumstances make me be untrue to any of those things. Cause they are what define me. They tell my story. Unabridged. Uncut. Raw.

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