Thursday, May 31, 2012

How to Confront Your Joy Snatchers



Do you ever feel like you're constantly being drained of your positive energy?  Or that you're so distracted by peripheral things that you can't focus on what truly matters to you?  Have you ever slowed down enough and taken a close look at your life to find the sources that are draining you?  In this post, we'll call these things joy snatchers.  This was originally posted on The Write Curl Diary

What are Joy Snatchers?

Joy snatchers are those little things that pick away at your peace of mind and make you feel like poop. Joy snatchers can be people, places or things. They distract you when you are trying to be productive. They cause strain and stress in your relationships. Perhaps they bring out a side of you that you don't like or pull negative energy out of you. They can trigger feelings of depression and self-loathing and are often responsible for those random bad days when you're in a funk and you can't really explain why.

What are your joy snatchers? Here are just a few possibilities:

Jealousy

Maybe instead of appreciating what you have, you feel slighted because you think others have more or better than you. Do you sometimes want to feel happy for people but can't seem to see past your own perceived lack? Have you ever started off the day feeling great and then heard someone else's good news and suddenly had an attack of self-pity? *Raises Hand* This is not a pretty thing to admit in the least, but we've all been there and this does not make you a bad person!

Lack of Reciprocity

Do you overlook the meaningful relationships in your life and focus on the the broken or non-existent ones? Perhaps you invest a lot of time and energy into building a relationship with someone who is not giving you the same investment and you're upset about it - trying to figure out what's wrong with you? Why won't they like you or love you as much as you like or love them? They don't acknowledge your efforts or your gestures and you keep on trying to impress them to no avail.

Over-Accessibility

Do you entertain any and everything that people have to say to you? The media? Your neighbors? Your family? Co-workers? If you're open to it, everywhere you turn, someone will be complaining about something, gossiping about something, spreading fear in covert ways and leaving you wondering why you suddenly feel so heavy. Sometimes it's intentional and sometimes it's not. It's up to you to restrict access to your consciousness and not let everything in. You are not a dumping zone or a vessel to catch and recycle everyone's fears and bad feelings.

How do you control Joy Snatchers?

First, you have to recognize them and their impact on the quality of your life. You have to want to be free of their control over you. Get to know the sources. Search yourself honestly and without judgement to determine why you are susceptible to these things. Begin to train your mind to embrace Abundance instead of Lack and Faith instead of Fear.

There's no magic solution and your journey to freedom will be unique. It has helped me tremendously to be brutally honest with myself and know my triggers. What has helped you overcome sources of negative energy in your life? Or, what specific joy snatchers do you need to deal with?

6 comments:

NinaG said...

Great list!
That reciprocity thing was a big problem for me. I'd always be open to trying new things with new ppl I met but the feeling never seemed mutual. I used to get upset over this now I just know I can't force a friendship.

victory said...

Thank you for writing this post. I definitely must deal with the joy snatchers in my life. This post has made me reassess known triggers. Prayerfully, I will confront the triggers and stop allowing it/them to steal my joy.

Tiffany said...

Fb was a drain for me, don't miss it, at all!

Anonymous said...

I have to agree with Facebook. I wonder if there are any studies being done on the actual social and psychological impact that website is having on people. I am no longer on it either. I think I am letting a past relationship "kill" me. My ex sai hurtful things to me throughout ou relationship, and some most awful things during our last. He is a really good manipulator, and said things he knew would haunt me. I know he wasn't good for me, but I still miss him and think he is happy versus where I am emotionally. I am trying to get past it, but I must admit my faith is in the gutter.

lavettemb said...

Is it appropriate to say, I love you?

You have read my mind and hugged my spirit. So often I forget my faith, but I have read this blog for two hours. You are uplifting and I needed this in my life.

Thank you.

GG said...

Thanks everyone for the comments!

@NinaG I've struggled with this too. It would bother me when people didn't like me or didn't pay me attention when I felt like if they got to know me, they would feel differently. I had to realize that I was wasting this energy! LOL! My life is already very full of love and friendship so why be pressed? You're right, you can't force it.

@victory - I'm glad this was helpful for you. Sometimes you just have to see something written plainly to help you see where small things are affecting your life and you haven't been able to pinpoint them.

@Tiffany - social media can definitely be a drain! I'm glad you recognized that it was a downer for you and you put an end to it!

@Anon - It's really hard bouncing back from an emotionally/verbally abusive relationship. I would highly recommend Iyanla Vanzant's In the Meantime. I've read this book like 3 - 4 times and it speaks to me like no other.

@lavettemb - I think I can speak for Kim and say we love you too! LOL! I love this --> "You have read my mind and hugged my spirit" b/c that's exactly what we are striving to do!! Thanks so much for the feedback.

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