Why You Need to Cultivate Self-Loving Habits

 


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When you don't make time for things that make you feel good, you're opening the door for needy, insecure behavior to become your method of operation. You can't wait for other people to make you feel good. I've learned this the hard way and I never want to go back to living in a world where everyone else's needs, wants and opinions matter more than my own. Praise and appreciation feel good, but they shouldn't be your motivation for what you do - especially not for things that you do for yourself.

Today, I'd like to share four habits that I've cultivated to stay grounded in my identity and show myself love. I encourage you to think about your own patterns and if you are giving yourself as much love and attention as you give to others.

Keep some things private.
I make a conscious effort to be open and honest in my everyday interactions with people and certainly in my writing. I find that transparency is empowering for the most part. But I've learned that some thoughts and feelings are best kept private. Discretion is key. When you tell your secrets, you open yourself up to the opinions of others. So you must first determine if this exposure is wise and/or necessary and if so, be sure that you are emotionally ready for the possible criticism.

Disconnect and unplug.
You can't make yourself available to everyone day and night. I refuse to be a slave to my many communication devices. Everyone's threshold is different, so just make it your business to be aware of yours. Perhaps you should designate a certain amount of times a day to check email or return phone calls. Whatever you do, don't overextend yourself makiing it impossible for you to ever concentrate on one thing at a time.

Pamper your hair and skin.
You've heard me talk about the importance of beauty routines before. In addition to my obvious love of all things hair, beauty and self-care have always been hobbies of mine. I used to feel down when my significant other didn't acknowledge my efforts as much I thought he should. I would even go so far as to seek that attention in other places. (I'm always throwing sneaky confessions into my posts, right?) But time and experience have taught me that I'm really the only audience that matters. Even if no one else notices or cares, I will always enjoy the process of pampering myself.

Learn how to self-soothe.
When things aren't going your way and no one understands, it's easy to give in to self-pity and lose hope. I used to go to this dark place often - feeling down and upset and wanting someone else to make it better for me. One of the most valuable things I've learned is how to pick myself up, dry my tears and stuff a sock in the mouth of that annoying inner critic that tells me that I suck and the world is coming to an end. How you self-soothe is very intimate and personal, so I can't say what will work for you but prayer, meditation and positive self-talk will start you on the right path.



{Originally posted on The Write Curl Diary}

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5 Ways to Refresh Your Environment and Your Soul

I don’t know about you, but serenity in my surroundings is very often equivalent to peace of mind. I feel more relaxed, productive and healthy when I am in a clean, open, organized space—and a little bit of pretty doesn’t hurt either. When I start to feel out of control, a quick de-clutter in my space (home, office, car) can de-clutter my mind as well. Perhaps it isn’t even as much about the visual end result as it is about the process of stilling my mind, setting about a task, and creating room for positive energy to flow. Whatever the case, I highly recommend these ways of refreshing your environment that can perhaps also refresh your soul.

Straighten up/organize. Ever heard the phrase “she couldn’t see the forest for the trees”? The jist of that turn of phrase is that we often miss things that are right in front of us; it’s even easier to do so when there is clutter covering them up. So why not take a moment to get organized? Move dirty clothing to the hamper, make up the bed, clear your products out of the bathroom, wash the dishes, make a to-do list. Perhaps you’ll find that you can see much more clearly with those minor chores out of the way.

Bring in fresh flowers. Fresh flowers bring life into your space. And certain plants also bring along their enticing scents and vibrant colors. Who can be sad while staring at a gorgeous center piece? I like to update my dining table with a fresh vase of flowers each week.

Open a window. If you can’t take a break and head outside, why not open a window? It might get a little warm in the summer, but ultimately fresh air is healthy for our lungs and our minds; breathe in deeply the air from outside and allow yourself to reconnect with nature and with your Self.

Release calming scents. Scents like Jasmine and Lavender are known to have calming properties, but we also sometimes have emotional links to particular smells that incite pleasant memories or feelings. Light a candle, or incense in your favorite scent and let it permeate your space.

Infuse color. Color is also said to be linked to mood. Bright colors like yellow and orange have been linked to making people feel happy, and green is rumored to elicit calm. Find a way to infuse color into the room even via something small like a throw pillow or a candy dish. Infusing color into your wardrobe and donning it as opposed to neutrals will help to brighten your mood as well.

What other things can you do in your environment to help refresh both your surroundings and your soul?

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National Running Day

You may have heard by now, but today is National Running Day. I’ve been seeing some of the cutest little “I run to ___” photos, like “I run to eat French fries", and “I run to drink wine”; speaking to the enormous amounts of calories that running burns, and the subsequent treats you can ingest when you have run hard. We all have our vices, right?

While there are certainly numerous dietary and physical benefits to running, there are other, non-physical benefits as well:

The ability to connect with nature

Sometimes we forget to appreciate the little things that happen so seamlessly all around us like birds singing, trees losing leaves and flowers blooming. We know a little bit about how these things happen, but remembering that they happen on time, season after season, without much human intervention--can help calm stress and remind us that the things we’re hoping for in our lives will happen, and that we’ll continue to grow and move forward from season to season as well. Getting outside in nature for a run lets you get back in touch with the very basic systems that make our universe function.

The ability to connect with a higher power

Whether you meditate, chant or pray--running is an opportunity to connect with your higher power. Running and concentrating on your breath lets you communicate all your problems and stresses without ever saying a word. Your mind gets quiet and your spirit opens up to receive divine guidance.

The ability to connect with yourself

Running is a great way to test your limits. You can discover how fast you can run, or how far you can go--and ultimately, learn how to exercise your mind’s control over your body. There’s no better feeling than the one after you’ve pushed yourself harder than you ever have before. Your endorphins are firing and you are jamming with feelings of positivity and achievement; and these feelings will help you conquer in other areas of your life too.

So why not get out for a run today? Even if you don’t label yourself “a runner”, you can treat yourself to a brisk walk or a slow jog. And you’ll be amazed at how great you’ll feel afterward.

Happy National Running Day!

Image via Pinterest

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Power Foods for a Flatter Stomach and a Healthier You

There are certain areas of the body that are particularly hard for women to keep toned, and one of those problem areas is the tummy.  Trust me, after three children, I lovingly refer to the bulge under my belly button as my mama pouch.  I feel like I look perpetually 3-4 months pregnant.  What's interesting is that it's a bit flatter in the morning and bloats out throughout the day.  Sometimes, by the end of the day I feel so tight in my clothes that I have to unbutton the top button of my pants.  Sexy, right? 

On the serious side, there's more to consider here than vanity.  Studies show that waist size can be an indicator for diabetes and heart disease.  Whatever your motivation, if belly fat is an area of focus for you, it's important to focus on cardo exercise, limiting excessive salt intake, and of course making sure that you are putting the right foods into your body. The following guide is a great reference for power foods that will not only help you manage this problem area, but will help maintain your overall health.

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A - Almonds and other nuts (with skins intact)

Superpowers Builds muscle, reduces cravings

Fights Obesity, heart disease, muscle loss, wrinkles, cancer, high blood pressure

B - Beans and legumes

Superpowers Builds muscle, helps burn fat, regulates digestion

Fights Obesity, colon cancer, heart disease, high blood pressure

S - Spinach and other green vegetables

Superpowers Neutralizes free radicals, molecules that accelerate the aging process

Fights Cancer, heart disease, stroke, obesity, osteoporosis

D - Dairy products (fat-free or low-fat milk, yogurt, cheese)

Superpowers Builds strong bones, fires up weight loss

Fights Osteoporosis, obesity, high blood pressure, cancer

I - Instant oatmeal (unsweetened, unflavored)

Superpowers Boosts energy, reduces cholesterol, maintains blood sugar levels

Fights Heart disease, diabetes, colon cancer, obesity

E - Eggs

Superpowers Builds muscle, burns fat

Fights Obesity

T - Turkey and other lean meats

Superpowers Builds muscle, strengthens immune system

Fights Obesity, various diseases

P - Peanut butter

Superpowers Boosts testosterone, builds muscle, burns fat

Fights Obesity, muscle loss, wrinkles, cardiovascular disease

O - Olive oil

Superpowers Lowers cholesterol, boosts immune system

Fights Obesity, cancer, heart disease, high blood pressure

W - Whole-grain breads and cereals

Superpowers Prevents body from storing fat

Fights Obesity, cancer, high blood pressure, heart disease

E - Extra-protein (whey) powder

Superpowers Builds muscle, burns fat

Fights Obesity

R - Raspberries and other berries

Superpowers Protects heart; enhances eyesight; improves balance, coordination, and short-term memory; prevents cravings

Fights Heart disease, cancer, obesity

source: yogi health

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Holding Myself Accountable: The 3 Lame Excuses I Use to Avoid Exercising

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"Discipline means doing what needs to be done, even when you don't want to."

I hate to admit it but I have really fallen off when it comes to exercising on a regular basis.  I have fits and starts where I'll get motivated and go for a jog or do an exercise DVD at home.  But overall, I've been very inconsistent and I'm always making excuses (to myself) as to why I "don't have time" to exercise. 

Excuse #1

I do my hair pretty much every Sunday, so the last thing I want to do is sweat it out.  I have natural hair, so one would think that this would give me more flexibility.  I guess it depends on how I'm wearing it.  The most ideal hairstyle (for me) to wear when I'm working out is a bun or some type of protective style.  That way I don't have to worry about tangles or having to re-straighten or re-twist.  So, what's the problem then?  The problem comes back to my priorities.  If I were making my health a priority (over my hairstyle) then I'd make sure that my hairstyle did not inhibit my work out.   It's very simple.  But I make it hard.

Excuse #2

I belong to a gym at my job and most of my coworkers go to the gym or go outside to run during lunch at least 3-4 times a week.  So, I have the facilities, I have the encouragement of my peers, and I still don't go.  If I'm not going out to lunch, then I'm typically at my desk writing during my lunch hour.  With my full-time night job of mom to three, I rarely have time to write at home during the week.  While writing is definitely a worthwhile priority, I realize that my health is still more important.  It doesn't have to be all or nothing.  I should be able to alternate how I spend my lunch time so that I'm able to accommodate both of these positive outlets.

Excuse #3

Finally, I know I've had a hard time getting started because I'm afraid that I won't stick with it (again).  I truly want to be toned and in shape and have more energy, but I don't want to do the work to make it happen.  I remember there was a time when missing a day at the gym was torture!  I was so into it and I looked forward to working out everyday.  To go from that, to where I am now is pretty discouraging.  How do I know that I won't fall off again?  I guess I don't.   But I know that if I don't try, I'll continue to feel that I'm not taking the best care of myself that I can which is not good for my peace of mind.

What excuses do you make to not get in shape?   How have you made positive changes to make physical fitness a bigger priority in your life?  Do you have any suggestions for me?!

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3 Ways to Drink to Your Health

There are tons of ways to ensure you’re taking in the amount of vitamins your body needs, and one of my favorite methods of vitamin intake is to drink them. It cuts down on the amount of pills to swallow, you can conquer your hunger without feeling the heaviness we sometimes experience after a meal, and liquids are easier to take with you on-the-go. Here are three ways to drink to your health.

Hot or Cold Tea

In addition to being a comfort beverage, many teas have healing properties*.

White tea is high in antioxidants, is said to support healthy skin and detoxification, and has very little caffeine (about 1% of that in a cup of coffee).

Green tea is also high in antioxidants, is said to give your immune system a boost, and has little caffeine—though more than what is typically found in white teas (about 5-10% of that in a cup of coffee).

Red tea or Rooibos tea aids in digestion and is naturally caffeine free.

Black tea can give you an energy boost, and has about 20% of the caffeine found in coffee, so it’s a great substitute for that morning cup of Joe (try Tazo Awake tea). It’s also said to promote cardiovascular health.

Smoothies

Smoothies are a cold, yummy treat that are so good, you don’t even notice that you're having something healthy! But they are—and the great thing is you can combine any number of fruits, veggies and yogurts to make them your own. You can add supplements like protein or energy powders, or even caffeine to help jump start your day; you can drink a fruit smoothie as a snack or in-between meals to help you feel full; and you can even have a smoothie as a healthy dessert.

Make your smoothie at home in a blender by combining your favorite frozen fruits, Greek yogurt and ice chips.

Keep your fridge stocked with pre-made smoothies with specific properties like the Bolthouse Farms brand. My favorite is Green Goodness which has 8 servings of both fruits and vegetables.

No time to buy groceries? Visit someplace like Smoothie King, instead of Starbucks, during your morning commute and put together your own smoothie chock full of all the ingredients you need to “stay healthy, trim down, get energy, shape up, snack right, or indulge”—your choice.

Kombucha

Probiotics are said to be “healthy” bacteria that help to maintain the balance of micro-organisms living within our bodies. According to studies, they can aid in digestive and immune function and contribute to overall health.

One (pseudo controversial) source of probiotics is Kombucha**, and most people either love it or hate it. An aged tea elixir, it is said to provide the healthy enzymes needed to replenish much needed energy and to restore health. While it is supposed to be very good for you, Kombucha does not taste very good; you’ll definitely want to drink to your health and not for taste.

These are a few of the things that I consume to stay energized and healthy. What are some of your favorite ways to drink to your health?

*Tea facts pulled from the Teavana website.
**There were some warnings issued against the classic version of this beverage, citing that it contained small amounts of alcohol. Since then, a second formula has been released, the Enlightened version, that is said to be suitable for consumption by all ages.

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7 Baby Steps to a Healthier Lifestyle

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Many of us have the desire to lead healthier lifestyles and just don't know where to start. The idea of a lifestyle overhaul can be extremely daunting. But you have to start somewhere. What is more important than your health, really? It's a matter of making it a priority. Below are a few small changes that I've made to get me on the right track. Maybe some of these will be helpful to you too. Baby steps can give you the confidence to eventually take bigger, bolder steps to get you where you want to be.

Instead of cutting out sweets; treat yourself to one small sweet a day.

I have a major sweet tooth i.e. sugar addiction. One day, I realized this and decided that I need to give up sugar completely. Um, yeah, so that worked for about a day and then I totally binged on a whole sleeve of chocolate chip cookies. There are always temptations around, so I'm learning to have one small piece of yumminess a day and keep it moving. I try to satisfy my urge for sweets with fruit and yogurt. Any other ideas?

Get by with six or seven hours of sleep during the week.

My doctor tells me that everyone is different and may not necessarily require 8 hours of sleep every night to function at their best. Personally, I find that between 6 - 7 hours a night gets it done for me during the week. Anything less than that, and I'm struggling. It's hard for me to go to bed at night. Not because I'm not tired but because I always try to squeeze too much into my precious evening time. It's not always easy, but I make every effort to get myself in bed early enough to allow for 6 - 7 hours of sleep. I also make a point to get as much rest in as possible on weekends.

Does everything need to be organic?

I don't know about you, but I cannot afford an all organic diet. Nor do I think it's necessary, really. Who knows, my opinion on that may change one day. For now, I try to buy primarily organic fruits and veggies. Produce has the potential to carry the heaviest exposure to pesticides, so where we can afford it, I opt for organic. What do you think? If you're all organic, all the time, what are your reasons?

Eat a fruit or veggie with every meal.

Most of us know that we should get 5 fruits or veggies in a day. If you include one with each of your three meals, you're almost all the way there. Throw some veggies on your sandwich and opt for carrots instead of chips. Have some fruit with breakfast. Pull out the blender and mix up your own smoothies. Or, if you're "too busy" like me, then you can buy fruit and veggie smoothies from the grocery store like ones by Odwalla and Bolthouse Farms.

See your doctor at least every other year.

Sometimes we have misperceptions about our health simply from not going to the doctor. Some of us are afraid to go. While I understand the feeling, the only way to get rid of this anxiety is to go. I feel most comfortable seeing my gynecologist once a year and my primary care doctor every other year. Depending on your age and health status, you may need to go more or less, but you should stick to a schedule. Keeping these appointments will ward off some of the worries we create in our minds from simply avoiding our standard check ups.

Breathe and Stretch.

The benefits of yoga and meditation are a sense of balance and connection between mind, body and spirit. But these practices take awhile to master. Why we always think we have to be a master before we can try something, I don't know. Why not start by practicing deep breathing and stretching a couple times a day? Perhaps in the morning and at night. Even throughout the day, when I feel anxiety, anger or frustration building up, I practice deep breathing and it calms me down. Stretching first thing in the morning is a great way to gradually wake up your body. Think about your intentions for the day and program your mind to stay positive. Once you start doing this on a regular basis, it will be easier to branch out and incorporate more structured practices.

30 minutes of activity - 3 times a week.

You just have to get moving. It's just that simple. When you have the option to walk, walk. When you have the option to take the steps, do it. These are small choices that we can make that can get us on the right track. You don't have to get your exercise in the gym, necessarily. Maybe you can take a dance class or join a running group. Any type of physical activity that you can add to your life will have a positive impact on your health.

What other tips can you add? I'm always looking for more ways to lead a healthier lifestyle without turning my whole world upside down overnight.  Share your experiences with me.

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I’d Rather Be Healthy Than Skinny

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“I’d rather be healthy, than skinny…” It’s a thought, a revelation really, that came to me on one of the many occasions where I was doubled over in abdominal pain from my severe gastro-intestinal issues; magnified (I later realized) by an excessive intake of aspartame—the chemical sweetening ingredient found in Splenda and diet sodas.

I was at a point where I’d become obsessed with my caloric consumption, limiting myself to only 1200 calories per day (which was perfectly healthy, and recommended by a licensed dietitian), but cheating myself by substituting “easy” things (that were ultimately not good for me) for healthy ones. “If I just use Splenda instead of sugar…” I thought, “..I can eliminate calories in my hot beverages.” As if this wasn’t damaging enough, I committed to only drinking zero calorie sodas. Really? The saner approach would have been to just drink water, and/or reduce the amount of natural sugar I was using (which is what I do now).

My weight has been up and down a lot over the past few years—mostly due to doing insane things to drop it—like obsessive calorie counting--then feeling so great that I’d fail to continue monitoring my diet and stop exercising almost altogether. I am someone who has to monitor what she eats, and has to exercise consistently in order to even maintain her size—never mind losing anything. Despite knowing this, I’ve allowed myself to get lazy and fall off over and over again. Though carrying some extra unwanted pounds, I’m by no means obese, and the formula to my solution is simple: diet + exercise = ideal size. When I work out and eat right, my body conforms; when I don’t, it doesn’t. So why continue to the cycle of weight gain, and loss of self-esteem?

The race to skinny belies a bit of self-loathing--a feeling like I’m not good enough unless I weigh this much or fit into that size right now; in addition to extreme guilt over “letting myself go” and hurrying to repair the damage. But I’ve finally come to my senses, and changed my attitude. Ultimately, it’s more important to take the time to work with my body and to feed it the right things—consistently; then it will be easy to ensure that my body is exactly where it needs to be. While it’s okay to have goals, it’s better to set up proper diet and exercise as a way of life, even after goals have been attained.

So I’m back on track. I’ve re-joined my running group on the pavement, have committed to hitting zumba once per week, and am spending the extra money on the foods my body will best respond to—which includes packing a healthy lunch daily, instead of trying to scour the net in search of nutritional labels before buying pre-made foods.

There were a couple of posts around the web today that reminded me that I’m doing the right things. If you have some time, check them out. Hopefully you’ll find something that inspires you too.

Is The Idea of Motivation Merely A Myth?

“I wanted something to inspire me. Something other than me to tell me what I needed to do for me. I didn’t want the responsibility of telling myself to just pick my behind up off the couch and go, for some reason, as if that would’ve been too much ownership of the situation. I needed to wait on my epiphany. I needed to wait. And while waiting, I was doing nothing. Wasting time. Doing what I knew I shouldn’t be doing… while I waited on the thing that would come tell me to do what I knew I should be doing.”
Excerpted from Is The Idea of Motivation Merely A Myth? A Black Girl's Guide To Weight Loss. Read More

Is Black an Antonym for Healthy? 

“When unhealthy habits become embedded in culture, it perpetuates unhealthy behavior. Not only is it common for African-Americans to indulge in unhealthy food, but also eating healthy has become somewhat a cultural anomaly. Other than First Lady Michelle Obama’s mainstream push to get America to “move” and adopt a healthier lifestyle, how common is health advocacy within the black community?” Read More

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Stress-Busters: 5 Useful Tips to Help You Cope

Some days can just be more difficult to get through than others, because life throws what I like to call “learning opportunities” our way when it feels like we need them. Because I am practicing speaking only positivity into my life, it is my goal to not refer to these moments as stressful; but the reality is they can be both physically and emotionally taxing! What makes the difference is how we deal with them. We can give in (as I almost did today after a particularly trying day at work) or we can go to our list of things that bring us back to a place of peace:

1. Walk away. One of the most helpful things you can do when encountering something that upsets you is to walk away from it. Take a walk, go to lunch, window shop or sit in the park if the weather permits. The important thing is that you change your environment, which may also help to change your perspective on the situation when later viewing it with “fresh” eyes.

2. Listen to music. This is where your “positive perceptions” iPod playlist comes in handy! Play things that uplift you or make you smile; they’ll help to lighten your mood.

3. Treat yourself to something small. Grab a coffee, tea or a smoothie. Pick up something that doesn’t violate your regular diet, but that you consider a treat. Many herbal teas, especially ones containing chamomile or lavender, are very calming. Today, I opted for a blueberry protein smoothie from my favorite natural foods store just to remind myself that I deserve good things, however small.

4. Talk to someone. Call a friend, a parent, your pastor or anyone who you can rely on to talk you through it, help you to calm down and aid you in coming up with solutions. If you’re a parent, sometimes even calling your child can help! The sound of my son’s voice brings me joy, and is always a gentle reminder of why I do so many of the things I do.

5. Read, watch or listen to something with an uplifting message. I like to watch/listen to messages from Gabrielle Bernstein because I find them to be empowering. She has a YouTube channel dedicated to Vlogs and recordings of her lectures. Immediately channeling these messages and flipping your thoughts around from negative to positive will go a long way in helping you to deal with the situation that has been bothering you.

We may not be able to break out into full-on meditation in the middle of the day, or go and work out when we find ourselves suddenly stressed out; but we can find comfort in little things, using tips like these, until we can fully deal with our emotions.

How do you combat emotional overload?

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5 Keys to a Fantastic Day

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Morning is the most important part of the day as it sets the tone for the remainder of the day. It is at this time that decisions are made—whether consciously or unconsciously—about the mood or feeling we’ll carry with us, how we will react to the difficulties we may face, and how productively we’ll execute our daily tasks. I like to use my morning routine to set a specific intention each day, for example: focus, balance or productivity. My mornings consist of 5 essential elements that I call my keys to a fantastic day.   

1. Daily prayers/affirmations – Prayer is the time for speaking. Ask for whatever it is that you will need to get you through the day, whether it is patience, creativity, courage, determination—you know yourself well enough to know what you’ll need in extra doses.
2. Meditation – Meditation is the time for listening. Spend even as little as 5 minutes per day in silence and gratitude, with an open heart, and you’ll be surprised at the clarity you can achieve.
3. Exercise – You’ve heard it before: exercising in the morning gives you energy, gears up your metabolism for the day and releases endorphins that help you to be in a great mood. It’s all true.
4. Vitamins –Take a daily multi-vitamin. Try vitamin E to promote healthy hair, skin and nails. Use Echinacea to promote healthy white blood cells and a strong immune system. Slip a sublingual vitamin B12 for sustained energy throughout the day. The use of supplements works differently for each individual; listen to your body, pay attention to how it operates, so you’ll know what you are in need of and where to supplement.
5. Breakfast – Having breakfast is the best way to jump start your body and your healthy eating habits for that day. Start with super foods that increase metabolism, help you to feel full and give you energy like fruit, fruit smoothies enhanced with vitamins, proteins and whole grains.

What other simple things do you incorporate into your morning routine to help set the intention for your day?

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Our Tendency to Over-Indulge



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When it comes to food, I have at times stuffed myself too full of a good thing--despite being able to visually identify when there was too much in front of me. Often, when I’ve found something particularly tasty, I have continued to eat, even when my stomach has alerted my brain that it was full. Even though I make primarily healthy food item choices, anything in excess can prove harmful, right?

Do you ever find yourself engaging in similar behavior or feeling like no matter what you do, your actions toward food are counter to your intended health or fitness goals? Over-indulging is so often a result of learned behaviors or habit, more than actual hunger. Many women have ingrained beliefs about food that keep us from meeting our goals:

- We tend to view food as entertainment, tying eating into other activities like watching TV, reading or having time to ourselves.

- We let our emotions dictate our eating patterns; we eat when we celebrate, we eat when we’re sad, we eat when we’re bored, we “treat” ourselves to food as “rewards”, etc.

- We eat out as opposed to making food at home (often for the sake of convenience) and when we eat out, we do our best to consume all of the large portions of food placed in front of us in order to avoid waste.

There are solutions to countering this self-sabotage. Instituting some or all of them could aid in:

- Weight management
- Loss of pounds/inches
- Less bloating/a flatter tummy
- More energy
- Healthier self-image

Some solutions include:

- Eating smaller portions (Erika of The Black Girl’s Guide To Weight Loss offers a fantastic suggestion for doing so here)

- Purchasing groceries and preparing meals and snacks at home, in advance, so as not to be caught off guard and make a poor food choice

- Scheduling meals and snacks (for example, planning to have a small meal/snack every two hours) and sticking to the plan

Most importantly, if we value physical wellness, we have to work to change the way we think and make our behaviors consistent with what we say we want. We have to learn to be responsible with food and to express gratitude for food as a gift of nourishment for our bodies, and not take the abundance of availability of food for granted.

Affirmations:

I confuse the Universe when my behavior is counter to my words. Therefore I will train myself to exercise control when consuming food.

I will recognize food as a source of nourishment, designed to keep my body fueled, energized and healthy.

I will refrain from over-indulging—this does not serve me nor does it benefit my body. I cannot perform at the level of my highest self when I am lethargic and heavily weighed down by too much food.

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Project: Seven Hours of Sleep or More

“They sleep. We grind.” That’s a phrase I see tweeted often by Miss “FatBellyBella” aka Erykah Badu (usually as I’m doing my early morning timeline scroll). And I sometimes feel just a little bit guilty as I’m getting out of bed because I was indeed one of those who was sleeping. But then I remember that I’m just one of those people that needs rest. I currently average approximately 5-6 hours of sleep per night after squeezing in as many of the professional, parenting and personal tasks that I can cram into the other 18-19 hours of the day. I start out the week on Monday with a positive attitude, a big smile and my “to do” list tucked safely under my arm; and I find myself getting high off my level of productivity and accomplishment. However, by about Thursday I am tired, uninspired and quite honestly, wearing my cranky pants. I still get things done, but certainly with less enthusiasm and vigor as earlier in the week when my sleep cycle was just beginning. I also find that my body communicates pretty clearly when it wants a break. I carry exhaustion in my back, neck and shoulders. So what is the simple answer here? To get more rest.


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According to HelpGuide.org, “most healthy adults need between 7.5 to 9 hours of sleep per night to function at their best.” Here are some reasons why sleep is so important:*
1. Sleep Reduces Stress - When your body is sleep deficient, it goes into a state of stress. The body's functions are put on high alert which causes an increase in blood pressure and a production of stress hormones. The stress hormones also, unfortunately, make it harder for you to sleep.

2. Sleep Bolsters Your Memory - Researchers do not fully understand why we sleep and dream, but a process called memory consolidation occurs during sleep. While your body may be resting, your brain is busy processing your day, making connections between events, sensory input, feelings and memories. Your dreams and deep sleep are an important time for your brain to make memories and links. Getting more quality sleep will help you remember and process things better.

3. Sleep May Help You Lose Weight - Researchers have also found that people who sleep less than seven hours per night are more likely to be overweight or obese. It is thought that the lack of sleep impacts the balance of hormones in the body that affect appetite. The hormones ghrelin and leptin, important for the regulation of appetite, have been found to be disrupted by lack of sleep. So if you are interested in controlling or losing weight, don't forget to pay attention to getting a good night's sleep.

4. Sleep May Reduce Your Risk for Depression - Sleep impacts many of the chemicals in your body, including serotonin. People with a deficiency in serotonin are more likely to suffer from depression. You can help to prevent depression by making sure you are getting the right amount of sleep, between 7 and 9 hours each night.

5. Sleep Helps the Body Make Repairs - Sleep is a time for your body to repair damage caused by stress, ultraviolet rays and other harmful exposures. Your cells produce more protein while you are sleeping. These protein molecules form the building blocks for cells, allowing them to repair damage.

*Source

While this is not new research, nor is it a comprehensive list of the benefits of getting sufficient rest, it is a good reminder for us to allow ourselves the benefit of sleep, as it ultimately can refresh us and help us to better accomplish those daily goals. If we want to be at our best during the day, we have to remember to set ourselves up for the best with the combination of sleep, exercise and diet that is healthiest for our individual bodies.

To this end, I am recommitting myself (recommitting because I did this previously for about a month and then was back up to my old tricks) to getting 7 hours of sleep per night at the very least. It is my hope that this will help me to avoid oversleeping, allow the proper amount of time in the morning for me to prepare for the day, and aid me in being more punctual. What are some of the ways you organize your schedule to ensure that you’re getting enough sleep?

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Goals & Resolutions

This is the time of year where people reflect on themselves and make resolutions or set goals about what they want for the upcoming year. These goals and resolutions are generally very personal, but here are a few that will help any/every one to have a more healthy, loving and peaceful 2010:

1. Drink more tea. Green teas and white teas have antioxidants that work well in helping the body's immune system, increasing white blood cells (which fight sickness) and even helping skin to have a healthier glow. Black teas are a great alternative to coffee. They contain caffeine, but in smaller amounts, and can help you to feel more awake or energized. Rooibos teas (also called red or red bush teas) are also said to help fight colds-especially helpful now in the winter season.


2. Take vitamins. The body is a wonderfully complex system that works perfectly to sustain itself. However, every machine needs a little oil now and then, right? And so your body requires a little dietary help from time-to-time as well. The need will vary from person to person, but most bodies could use a little extra help from echinacea and/or vitamin C for immune health; vitamin E for heart health as well as healthy hair, skin and nails; Omega 3 fatty acids (fish oil pills) which can supplement protein and are also good for hair skin and nails. Many women in their 30s and older can also benefit from an iron supplement and/or a calcium supplement. The easiest way to get the vitamins your body needs is to take a daily women's multi-vitamin--especially if you're not sure specifically where your body requires the extra help.


3. Volunteer. The best way to help you to feel better about yourself is to serve others. Find something you're good at, and teach it to youth at a community center. Join a local Big Brothers/Big Sisters organization. Serve food at a local soup kitchen or shelter. Get re-involved in the community activities of your church or your sorority. Donate clothing that you no longer wear to a women's shelter, Salvation Army or Goodwill store. Go grocery shopping for your elderly neighbor. Just do whatever comes naturally and feels personal to you. And remember that as you give, so shall you receive, receive and receive.


4. Start a journal. If you don't already have a journal, start one immediately. Maybe you're not a writer, but you have an interesting idea for a blog or a website; start one. Maybe you're a photographer--make a photo journal. But find some way to document your journey over the next year. It is easy to forget how far you've come when you're up in your feelings or in a dark emotional place. Looking back at the journal you have kept, can remind you of just how much you have actually accomplished that you didn't even realize, or remind you of a lesson you have learned, and pull you right out of that funk.


5. Spend time in silence/meditation daily. This does not have to be anything formal. Just find 10 minutes a day to quiet your mind. It is almost impossible to hear yourself, your spirit, your inner guide when you have all the clutter of the day floating around in there. Use this time to breathe deeply, to relax, to recharge, to affirm yourself. Some people actually repeat affirmations, some prefer yoga. The method does not matter, it is the resulting peace that is the key.


6. Pamper yourself. Love youself all year long mentally, physically and emotionally. Read a few good books, or take a class. Take a nice hot candlelit bath, condition your hair for a ridiculously long time, give yourself a mani/pedi. Watch, read or listen to wonderfully affirming messages about the beautiful spirit of a woman. Do whatever makes you feel great and smile wide and do it often.
 
This is by no means an exhaustive list, but simply a few suggestions that perhaps you can add to your existing list of goals or resolutions. However you choose to better yourself and grow in the new year, we are sending you vibes of sucess, strength, poise, passion and purpose to help you accomplish everything you have set your mind and your heart to do.


The happiest of new years!

Peace and blessings,

Gina and Kim

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10 Ways to Feel Better

Everyday the friendly security guard in my building greets me with a huge smile and asks me how I'm doing that day. Today, I considered saying (with an equally huge smile) "Barely holding back the tears! And how are you?!" Somehow I found a way to resist the urge. I just smiled. I wonder if he noticed that the smile didn't reach my eyes. I just get really sad and overwhelmed sometimes. Then I feel guilty for feeling that way because I am so blessed. When I feel down and try to internalize it, I just feel worse and it leads to misunderstandings and misperceptions in my relationships.

Most people feel this way occasionally for short periods of time. If the sad feeling persists and begins to impact all aspects of life for a longer period of time, this may actually be clinical depression. The National Institute of Mental Health (NIMH) says that one in four women will experience severe depression at some point in life and depression affects twice as many women as men, regardless of racial and ethnic background or income. We can choose to ignore it and fill the void with addiction, indulgence and other destructive behavior. Or we can heal ourselves by talking about it. That's a start.

This blog is so healing to me because it allows me be honest and vocal about my efforts to maintain happiness and live a fulfilling life. Being the eternal optimist that I am, I always look for the light through the darkness. One of the ways I've found to do that is making lists. Oh, how I love a list! My love of lists is undoubtedly connected to my love of writing. There's something about seeing things down on paper that calms me.




Today's list consists of 10 things we all can do to increase our happiness or to feel better when our spirits need a lift.

Help someone. Listen to someone else's trials and tribulations and be supportive. Volunteer. Offer a complement. Go out of your way to be kind. Believe in the concept of paying it forward. It takes your mind off of your own troubles and makes you feel worthwhile.

Go to your happy place. Create a space for yourself that is in every way uniquely you. Make it cozy, neat, messy, fragrant, indoors, outdoors…whatever. Fill it with your favorite books, pictures, music, gadgets and decorations.

Focus on your strengths. We often put most of our energy into improving our weaknesses and judging ourselves. What would happen if instead we looked for ways to shine a brighter light on what we do well? Remember that there are people who don't have the same strengths as you.

Use your support system. Don't be afraid to reach out to your friends and family when you are sinking. We don't want to be a burden, so we try to appear to have it all together when we don't. That's what they are there for. Vent. Cry. Complain. Brainstorm solutions. Relate. Laugh. Heal. Don't wait until you are in crisis to ask for help.

Stop gossiping. Give so much time to loving and honoring yourself that you have no time to criticize others. Avoid people who build themselves up by breaking others down. We all do it. Let's try to be thoughtful and constructive with our discussions. I will try if you will.

Tune it Out. Don't read the newspaper or watch the news for awhile. Between nuclear weapons, wars, crime, tragic accidents, swine flu and pandemic diseases there is so much going on that is unpredictable and scary. We often distress ourselves and misuse our imaginations when we worry about things we can't control.

Speak your Truth. Find the courage to ask questions and express what you really want. Communicate with others as clearly as possible to avoid misunderstandings, sadness and drama. Know that your voice is relevant and important. If you don't want to do something, say so. If you can't afford it, say so. If the answer is no, say so. With love but without apology.

Girls' Night Out/Girls' Night In. Dress up. Do your hair. Throw some heels on. DANCE. "Let the music and the madness get to you…life ain't so bad at all…." Or invite your girls over and do each other's hair. Watch Coming to America. Sex and the City reruns. Whatever you like. Paint your nails. Relive the joy and simplicity of having a slumber party with your friends.

Listen to MJ. So much of Michael Jackson's music is about love, expression and happiness. He makes you wiggle, smile and perhaps recall a time in your life when things were simpler. He left us with a legacy of music that transcends time and trends. His music always gives me a boost.

Exercise. For me, this is the red-headed stepchild of this list. I know how good it makes me feel physically and emotionally, but I'm still inconsistent with it. Exercise gives you a break from worries and an energy boost that enhances your sense of well-being. Yoga, my personal fave, is an amazing outlet to connect your mind, body and spirit and create an overall feeling of peace and balance. I also like it because I don't get sweaty. Any degree of moderate activity helps, though.

Just writing this post has boosted my spirits. I think I will make this a weekly installment on PLPT. My issues are still my issues, but what's more important than any problem I have is the responsibility that I have to be a source of joy.

Feel free to share what boosts you when the clouds close in. I hope that reading PLPT is one of those things! xoxo

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