Saturday, February 13, 2010

I once was lost...

photo credit:

The thing about losing yourself is that you don't realize when it's happening to you. And you most certainly can't be told. You have to discover for yourself. It's not as if we get lost without our own consent. Not only do we consent to it, we give ourselves away willingly. How else would we escape our fears? Avoid vulnerability? Hide our flaws? We bury ourselves for protection, and by doing so, we protect ourselves right out of opportunities to experience the true and burning desires of our hearts. You know, the ones that we think we don't deserve.

How can anyone truly love and honor you the way you deserve when you don't honor yourself by being who you really are? No one can give you what you cannot give yourself. If you will sacrifice your own needs and ignore your boundaries to keep a man, fit in with a crowd, keep a job...then you are essentially squeezing yourself into situations where you don't belong. You think you are hiding and no one can see you, but just because you don't realize that your butt is sticking out of that hiding spot, doesn't mean that it's not sticking out. Folks can see you from a mile away and you don't even know it.

I'll tell you what. The best part about losing yourself is the search and rescue is often initiated by it... if you choose to venture into the unknown territory within you. It can be a scary place sometimes, but all of the potential in the world is in there. If you get fed up enough, a change gon' come. In the meantime, look for yourself and what you believe in everything you do. If you can't find yourself, what are you going to do about it?

What do you do to stay centered and grounded in yourself? I'll share first. I'm not saying that I always get it right, but I make a conscious effort to do these things to stay true to myself.

I write. Mostly about feelings and growth. Writing connects my heart and my mind.
I check myself. I hold myself accountable for my own behavior.
I speak the truth and hear the truth without fear.
I don't apologize for being me.
I don't base my happiness on anyone else's behavior or opinions.
I communicate my needs. (This is a tough one for me.)

What else? Are any of these extra challenging for you? Any advice on how you got out of a rut or a situation where you'd lost sight of you who are? Sharing your story may help someone else's healing process.


Chic Mommy, Cool Kid said...

To stay centered and grounded, I:
- read something inspiring--a poem, a book, a blog post--anything that can help me remind me to keep on loving myself
- meditate; the quiet mind is a playground for self-discovery
- talk it out, out loud, to/with myself. I ask myself what is happening here, how did I allow it to happen, and how can I move forward
- positive affirmation; I combat my negative thoughts with positive ones until I annoy those negative thoughts so much that they run for cover
- I practice self-acceptance. And it is a continuous practice, believe me!

GG said...

Thanks for sharing Chic Mommy. Everything you are doing is working because you are a a constant source of balance for me too!

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