Wednesday, September 29, 2010

The Infamous They

Call her what you want but Erykah Badu dances
to the beat of her own drum and inspires many by doing so.


We are always concerned about what "they" will say. They say we can't do it. They say that we must fit a certain definition. They say that this is right and this is wrong. They say all kinds of things, don't they? They know what's best. They know what we should be afraid of, what we should look like and who we should date.

The infamous "they" are the general public, the media, church, family, friends, coworkers, neighbors, strangers even naysayers and haters. Many of us will listen to anyone and anything other than our own divine intuition. No wonder we are stressed, anxious and unhappy. The reason we are so attentive to what they say is because we are not confident in our own self-direction. When we allow ourselves to follow the whims of general opinion and what we think they want us to do, we end up completely losing sight of who we really are.

Here are a few ways to silence the opinions of the infamous "they" and tune into the voice of the fabulous, undeniable you:

1. Stop judging where you are in life as right/wrong or good/bad. Accept every part of yourself with grace and honesty. This builds confidence and is so attractive.

2. Don't tell all your business to everyone you talk to. Everyone doesn't deserve a front seat in the show that is your life. Confide in people who are supportive and constructive. Even then, don't look to other people to tell you how to feel.

3. Try new things to get over the fear of not being perfect. Frequently stepping out of your comfort zone helps you to become an expert at handling unfamiliar situations. Too often we don't try things just because someone else told us that it was difficult for them. Form your own opinions based on your own experience instead of relying on what others have told you.

4. Don't seek approval from people before you make moves. People may try to dissuade you. People may be disappointed. This is your life and you owe it to yourself to experience it in your own way.

5. Trust yourself. We each have our own unique, divine power. Don't hand over your power by following someone else's agenda. The definition of success is being true to yourself and following your heart.

6. Challenge everything. Don't accept anything without passing it through your internal filter. Does it ring true for you? If not, don't internalize it. Everything in this world is subject to perception.

7. Have faith. Change your thoughts. Fill your mind with positivity. Focus on the life experience that you want to have and let nothing distract you from it.

What other ways can we learn to stop worrying about what "they" say? What can we do to become self-directed, confident women? How do we stop caring what other people think when most of us were raised to care?


CurvyGurl ♥ said...

Nothing but the truth! It's taken me nearly 40 years to actually live by these, but when I finally did I felt a sense of empowerment and peace. The one I still need to monitor is #2. I recently realized that even my closest friends don't need to be privy to every detail of my life...I slip up

Anonymous said...

To stop worrying so much about what 'They' think, I remember that there is a higher being and I focus on what God thinks about me.

GG said...

@CurvyGurl - It takes awhile, right?! It's really a matter of reprogramming things that are so ingrained into us. It's worth it though. It's like a huge weight being lifted off of you.

@Anonymous - So true! This is all that really matters. God made us perfectly imperfect and learning to embrace that fact makes us more God-like and forgiving of ourselves and of others.

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