Tuesday, May 10, 2011

Guest Post: How To Get An Eating Disorder

Today's guest post was written by Andria Cole

How to get an eating disorder

Scenario 1: Get born a woman. Or if you are very special, get born a man. Suffer some moment similar to this: You are seven and hungry as the devil Monday mornings. He spent all weekend harming people and forgot to eat. You’re hungry as him. So hungry you think of children in Third World countries and over on the West Side that go days and sometimes weeks, no food. You’re extra sorry for them now. How they do it? You and your family are gathered at the dining room table or around the TV. You eat one whole plate like it’s nothing. Sort of drink it down and it’s not soup. You can’t even tell if it’s good. Then stand to fix another. Feel your father’s fat pointer finger, knuckles so big he can’t wear his wedding ring anymore, jabbing through your jeans to your stomach (it is just spilling over your front and on around to your sides a little but everybody is looking at you like they don’t have palms deep enough to catch it. Listen to your daddy say, “That thang looking big enough already!” Watch everybody around the table crack up laughing. Sit down. Don’t eat just then. Wait until they are sleeping and empty the refrigerator in one swoop.

Scenario 2: Fall in a way unsteady love. Where you are all good and honest and worship him/her like Shiva, and where he/she forgets your name occasion after occasion. Go on and discover that instead of loving you your love loves everything with legs and genitals. He or she is like a sponge and soaks up everybody. Find telephone numbers on slips of paper and text messages that say, “Last night was…” Don’t sleep until you meet or see the others. Discover that they are way skinnier, way prettier, way lighter, way funnier than you with teeth bright as Wonder bread. Eat two tubs of butter pecan ice cream. Feel like a cow when you’re done. You’re so swollen your pants need to be cut off you. Turn on the television and see all sorts of people who resemble your Shiva God’s affairs. Dispel that ice cream rain, hail, sleet, snow. Now that you know there is a way to eat it and not eat it, commit to this activity until you turn beautiful.

Scenario 3: Have your momma die when she was the only one on the whole planet to love you right. Taste every food on Earth to see if any are sweet as her. When you discover none are, never eat anything again.

How to get rid of an eating disorder

Single Scenario: Remember, or if you never knew it, learn quickly, with the same fervor you destroyed yourself that you are one precious, precious something. Worth far more than a silly biscuit. Than anything that dissolves with a touch of tongue, a bit of teeth.


Andria Cole was the first woman we showcased in our GEMS feature.  This is my favorite quote from her interview:
"Inspiration comes in big old daily doses, sometimes too big to swallow. I am inspired by: the way my mother tells a story, my sisters and their refusal to be anything but themselves, my daughter’s shyness, Oprah’s strength, Toni Morrison’s wisdom, Toi Derricottoe’s honesty, Beyonce’s focus, Barack Obama’s eloquence, Malcolm X’s fearlessness…by films, by music, by individual words, photographs, commercials, good food, good wine ;0)…ooh, especially good quotes…deep down pain, injustice, anger…fabric, television shows, singing, dancing…hell, hot pink nail polish. I can use anything as an excuse for inspiration and it, like the sky, is all over everywhere."


Shana Medika said...

As always, I love this piece. When is your collection of "How To's" coming out????

jessj said...


Andria said...

Thank you, Shay. I think I'll collect them over the years and maybe one day they'll fall together. xoxo

Anonymous said...

Love it

Anonymous said...

i dont get this story im fat and im trying to lose weight and i dont get this

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