Thursday, March 15, 2012

Learning the Truth about Yourself

In order to reach your full potential and discover your purpose, it is vital that you learn the truth about yourself.

I have a deep seated belief that I’m not as smart or creative as I think, and that my endeavors won’t necessarily be successful or that people will hate what I’ve done. I know that this is because of the messages that were drilled into my head by my peers when I was a child and a teen. I skipped two grades in elementary school because I was an advanced learner. School just came easily to me. So my peers were, for the better part of my formative years, two years older than me and very often—just plain old mean. They didn’t understand why parents and principals and newspapers were so fascinated by me and would be sure that I knew they were certainly not impressed. And let’s be real: at that age it’s really your peers’ approval that you’re seeking—not your parents’. And so I shrunk against the weight of their scrutiny and tried not to be so “good”.

Even now, I continue to struggle with feelings that I could and should have done more and that I would be so much farther along in life and career if I had only done "X" (notice all the words there that don’t belong? “Woulda, coulda, shoulda” much?). So it is a constant struggle to allow myself to be a success at anything—oh I do well at things, but I have to push myself mentally and emotionally to really excel. I have to get really good with my self-talk to not only be unafraid to fail, but to be unafraid to succeed.

In order to establish and maintain healthy relationships, it is important to learn the truth about yourself.

I have a little bit of relationship baggage. I have an ex boyfriend who, every time we had a disagreement or he perceived me to have done something ‘wrong’, would stop speaking to me. Well—I’d get a few choice words via text or email and then he’d stop speaking to me. For days. And when he had been really offended, he’d break up with me (only to later come back). This cycle went on for way too long, and even though I eventually became immune to it with him, I still occasionally have moments of fear in my current relationship. When the honey and I have a disagreement there’s a moment where my stomach flips, and I’m terrified that he’s going to leave, before I remind myself that this is just my egoic insecurity and talk myself off the ledge.

My point in each of these stories is that I’ve learned enough about myself to know when I’m operating out of fear, or reacting based on past pain that is completely unrelated to my current situation. And that is how you too can overcome whatever it is you fear. Learn what your triggers are so that you are able to control yourself when they are tipped. You can start to take your power back just by being aware.


victory said...

Wow, this is very powerful!

Kim Jackson said...

It's honest--and it can be tough to be honest with/about ourselves. I hope this helps you. Thanks so much for reading!

Shaquetta said...

I love reading your posts because I can relate to most of them and this one definitely. I've learned recently you have to be very aware of your emotional and mental self as situations arise so you can talk yourself off the ledge.

Kim Jackson said...

So glad you can relate Shaquetta! It also helps to understand you're not the only one who has to deal with certain things, but that it only makes you human to have to overcome various issues.

Anonymous said...

Im 20 yrs old and have dealt with this all my life, i have let fear stop me from being great and doing many things...but who are we not to be amazing and use the gifts God gave us... Great post! Thank u!

Kim Jackson said...

You're welcome Anon!! Thank you for reading!

RealLifeLove said...

Thank you for putting it all into perspective. I recently began my journey of knowing and understanding myself which has allowed me to realize that I have been holding fear so dear to my being for so long that it kept me from being the best me I can be. Thank you for the much needed advice its good to know that there are other ladies who are winning similar battles! God Bless you :D

Kim Jackson said...

You're welcomed! I hope you continue to find things here that inspire you along the journey!

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