PLPT GEMS: Meet Selena McDay

PLPT GEMS Presents

Selena McDay

Songstress. Mother. Legacy.

You've recently released an album, "Cry With a Smile", that was produced by your son, RiZ, to help bring your musical dreams to fruition. Tell us about the album and what type of sound your audience can expect to hear.

EVERYTHING I write is from personal experience! So the simple answer is: you’re going to hear a collection of “life lessons and love lessons”! Most (I hate to admit) were learned the really hard way, because I used to be so daggone “hardheaded”! But thankfully, I used writing as an outlet for a lot of things most of my life. And now, thanks to my incredible son RiZ, a 30 plus year dream deferred has come true! He’s produced and co-written my debut CD with me, and we’ve created a collection of “Ole Skool, Nu Kool” universal messages of love lost, love found, love cherished; self discovery; passion and fantasies; dreams realized and Karma, set to R&B, Neo-Soul, Jazz and Latin rhythms, sprinkled with a touch of Rock and Hip-Hop!

How did you know you wanted to pursue a career in music?




first recital at 7 or 8 years old


It feels like I was born into it! My mom was a lead singer in a band and they rehearsed at our house many times, and hung out at our house some nights after their gigs. I can remember more than one night (or early morning) during the 9 years I was the only child, I’d awake to somebody playing some instrument, my mom singing, or both! Music was just always a part of our lives. Then at 9 I was chosen to sing “He’s Got The Whole World In His Hands” in the Easter Pageant, and (when I) saw my Mother’s and the rest of the church’s reaction to what I’d just done, I got hooked! I decided right then and there that I WANTED TO SING! And that’s all I’ve ever wanted to do since!

Is performing and promoting your album your full time job? How do you balance it with your other responsibilities?

Yes, these days at least! As for “balancing”, it’s much easier now than it used to be when I was raising children, in school full-time, working a day gig part-time AND singing 3-5 nights a week! I have a law degree and I did “the lawyer thing” for a while when I was trying to finish getting the kids through school. I started a Legal Consulting firm that I’ve used as a supplement to my performing income since my son and I started work on my debut CD. It’s called LegalEaze Consulting, and I mostly provide legal document drafting, review and analysis services, business entities formation including (but not limited to) LLC’s, 501(c)(3)’s, LLP’s, and For-Profit Corporations, and electronic and manual factual and legal research, on a contract-by-contract basis. However, MUSIC IS MY LIFE!

What does a day in the life of Selena McDay look like? What actions do you take each day to contribute to the continued fulfillment of your musical goals?

Little did I know, developing and having “the product” was the easy part. Because I am an independent artist, with a small independent label (HLFW Recordings-founded and co-owned with my son RiZ) with NO budget, and no big label or rich uncle to sponsor me, everyday, except Sunday is spent doing something, anything and everything I can to get my music out there! It’s a standing joke now with my family that I literally go to bed and wake up with my laptop! But I do that because now that the CD is completed, I (am) trying to build my brand, get my music reviewed, writing pitch letters and getting them to every outlet I can to request submission permission or strum up interest to get interviewed. Much like what RiZ was doing when he found you guys. I’m not complaining, because as exhausting as it gets sometimes, I’m living my dream!

Who, in addition to your son RiZ, is your support system and how do they contribute to your business?




with son RiZ


At this time, I have my son RiZ, and a few very close friends & family members that are willing and sometimes able to take away from their own life’s responsibilities and goals to lend a hand (thus the success of my 12/11/11 CD Launch Party, I will never be able to thank them enough).

You never gave up on your dream, despite the setbacks you encountered; and you are proof that determination and belief in oneself will eventually result in reaching that dream. How did you overcome doubt and negative thinking?

I came real close to giving up a couple times along the way here. In fact, that’s part of the reason I decided to go to law school. But music has been my life so long, I just couldn’t. I’d professed that I’d dive into law school head on, and there would be no performing, at least during the first (and hardest) year of law school. But my destiny was evidently already written because I wasn’t in school three months when The Lord put me right back into it (with) a seven year gig at Washington, DC’s #1 Jazz Club, The Takoma Station Tavern, as their “House Singer"! In fact, but for those Thursday, Friday and Saturday night performances, I don’t think I would have made it though law school, because that was tough!

What advice would you give to other people who are searching for their purpose, or are afraid to take the first step toward their own dreams?

If you’re not happy, feel like you’re lacking or missing something in your life, I implore you to please, at least once a day, turn off or unplug everything electronic, sit still and listen! If you have to sit in a closet, in a bathroom, in your car, on the roof, sit somewhere, quietly, all by yourself for a few minutes a day so that God can talk to you. You will discover your purpose, discover your Blessing. Then when you “feel” strongly like you should or want to do something, don’t waste time trying to find some guarantee that it’ll work, questioning whether it’s the right thing to do, just take that first step out there on Faith, thank Him in advance for its success, and get started!

How can our readers connect with you?

at CD launch party

Keep in touch, visit me and tell a friend please! Check me out on my website; enjoy new videos when I upload them for you on my YouTube channel; and follow me on Twitter.

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6 Soul Searching Questions You Need to Ask Yourself

click to purchase

I'm currently reading Gail McMeekin's "The 12 Secrets of Highly Successful Women" and I just can't say enough about it.   It's one of those books that you read and reread throughout your life. The tag line is -- A Portable Life Coach for Creative Women -- and that is EXACTLY what it is. 

I had to share the following self-discovery questions with you from the book.  These aren't simple questions, so perhaps the best approach is to write them in your journal and dig in when you have some "me" time. 

1. What do you feel most ashamed about and how can you heal it?

2. If you were much braver, what challenges would you tackle this year?

3. What kinds of filters do you need in your life to screen out negative thoughts, people who are "downers", the media, the Internet, stress overload, and anything else that you need to protect yourself from?

4. What you have been putting off in your life that you want to do/be/have now?  How will you make that happen?

5. Have you thought about your legacy lately?  How do you want to make a difference?

6. Lastly, what self-imposed limitation do you need to dynamite through and free yourself from?

One of the things that I've been putting off is my desire to write a book.  I tell myself that I have too much on my plate and I need to wait until the kids are older.  My kids are 9, 6 and 1 --  so you do the math.  Basically, I'm going to have a full plate for many years to come.  So, why wait?  Even if it takes me years to write it, my heart is calling me to start now.

What do you need to start now?  What's in your way?  I hope the questions above from Gail McMeekin's book will challenge you to think and grow.

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Love Note - Friday 3/9/12

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5 Ways to Instill Positive Thinking Into Your Children

"Children are imaginative, open, inquisitive and excited about everything. Isn't it wonderful to have an audience coming to you with all that open feeling?" - Faith Ringgold

Many of us are just now learning to adopt a more positive mindset to improve the quality of our lives.  As we learn, we can pass this knowledge on to our children.  Here are five ways to do so:

Teach by example.  Our children are constantly watching us.  They see how we handle stress, loss and adversity.  The energy that we put out into the world has a huge impact on them.  There have been many times when I've caught myself speaking negatively only to catch the wide eyes of one of my babies staring right at me and taking it all in.  The best way for us to instill a positive mindset into our children is through our own actions.

Tap into their imagination.  We can really bring home the concept of positive thinking for our kids without them even realizing it - through play.  For example, when my son grows up he wants to be a comic illustrator and write graphic novels all while playing professional basketball and teaching art.  He's going to be a busy guy! :)  So, he has a journal where he draws pictures of himself playing basketball, and where he writes stories and draws characters for his novels.  This is fun for him, but it also is teaching him the idea of using visualization to bring his dreams into reality.

Provide visual inspiration.  Just as I would encourage you to surround yourself with positive affirmations and images, so should you surround your children.  Our girls especially need to believe in their own self-worth and value at a young age.  My daughter's walls are covered with prints - some that we created and colored ourselves and some that were purchased. The messages on the prints are short and sweet like "There's only one You"  "Believe in Yourself" and "Giving up is not an Option."  When she's being hard on herself, I remind her of these messages and I encourage her to repeat them to herself to drown out her doubts.

Create an atmosphere of growth.  When our children struggle with new things or a certain subject in school, this is another opportunity for us to teach them to think positively.  It's so important to create an atmosphere of growth in the home, so they understand that everyone has personal challenges that can't be avoided and that these challenges build character.  My son struggles with math, so we are all learning together to stay positive about it.  When we get frustrated, he senses it and gets down on himself.  When we tell him that we believe in him and share our own examples of times that we've struggled in school, he feels more hopeful and determined.

Surround them with positive people.  Once our children start school, we can't be with them all day or completely control who they associate with.  However, they see who we choose to spend our time with and how we interact with them, so we must choose wisely.  When my children tell me that one of their "friends" is calling them names and being mean, I ask them to consider if this person is really their friend if they are constantly trying to bring them down.  Often, these same kids are engaging in other troublesome behavior that should be avoided.  Our kids have to learn these things on their own, but we can teach them to look for red flags and make wise decisions.

How do you instill a resilient, positive mindset into your children?

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Affirmations for Turning Your Life Around

I just celebrated my 33rd birthday, and I’m so grateful to have been blessed with another year. On my 28th birthday, I had a breakdown; I felt that I hadn’t accomplished anything that I thought I would have by that time in my life: my finances were a mess, my career was stalled, and many of my relationships were dysfunctional.

While that was one of my lowest moments, I’m grateful that things happened the way they did, because that was the moment of my own personal quantum shift. I got my finances together, found a way to do what I love and learned to let go of relationships that didn’t serve me and to be open to healthy ones to come in their place. I’ve been learning and growing and accomplishing and it feels fantastic.

As I reflect on this past year, I see a very different woman than I used to see. I have peace surrounding my circumstances, I dream big and work hard every day to get closer to seeing those dreams come to fruition, and I’m surrounded by amazing, driven and supportive people. I am so grateful for many things that contributed to a better me along the way. I’m reminded to be grateful--not just for the wonderful things that have happened, but also for the things that didn’t seem so great at the time, but turned out to be exactly what I needed when I needed it.

I share this because it is my hope for you to know that no matter your current situation, you have an opportunity to turn it around. You can take negative and turn it into positive if you set your mind to it. Your future can be as bright as you can dream it. Set goals, tap into your resources and set feverishly about making them manifest. You might have to take some steps backward in order to move forward, but just keep moving forward.

Affirmations

I am grateful for rock bottom because I know that I can only go up from here.

I let go of those things that do not serve me in order to make room for things that will.

I trust my gut to guide me, and I work to make solid decisions.

I am patient with myself because I know that just because I don’t get it right the first time doesn’t mean that I won’t ever get it right.

I know it’s never too late to turn things around; I’m grateful that every day equals a new opportunity.

For more guiding affirmations, click here.

Photo via google images

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Love Note - Friday 3/2/12

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How to Accept Constructive Criticism

Part of self-assessing is learning to accept constructive criticism. It’s easy to decide on our own what we think our flaws are, or where we have room for improvement. It’s a bit more difficult to accept ourselves as other people perceive us—especially when we don’t agree with what they see.

Do you ever feel like people assign you flaws because they just don’t “get” you? It may be true that they don’t have a complete picture of your personality, but they can only go by the information you’ve given them.

Let’s take the office, for example: I have a rather subdued personality—and my professional personality, even more subdued than that. In a sales driven environment where people equate “energy” with loud, fast-talking, hyper-excited behavior, I’m a bit of an anomaly. More often than not, my performance feedback includes notes on being more “energetic” and “excited about {my} projects”. I know that I’m excited about my projects, and that my energy is exerted in a creative fashion—that standout marketing pitch or beautifully written communication is living breathing proof of my energy (and thankfully my direct manager understands this as well). But some people don’t seem to get that.

So how do we accept constructive criticism? We do just that—accept it. We listen, and take it in and consider for a moment, how we might “improve” in the given area, and we ask questions. Is there validity to this? How will this affect my career/family situation/friendships? Can I adjust this behavior without compromising my core values?

Weigh the balance between what feels like your true self, and what the perception of you might be. Get honest with yourself; this is not an excuse to be lazy or to let yourself off the hook for things you know need to be changed. Accept that this is the perception, and then either acknowledge it as your own truth, and adjust; or relegate it to their opinion and lock it away in that place in your mind of detached awareness. If there is too much of a disparity between what they see and what you feel is true, it may be time to consider changing your environment, if possible.

It is important to be aware of how we are perceived, and that’s why constructive criticism can be positive. Whether we agree or disagree, it gives us an opportunity to self-evaluate and to be more aware of how we are affecting others in our environment.

Do you find value in constructive criticism? Or do you have a difficult time accepting it?

photo via Pinterest

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