Thursday, January 12, 2012

"Find Your Truth" Series - Part VIII

In the eighth post of our ‘Find Your Truth’ series, Heather shares her truth on being a new mommy.

“..People look at children as being baggage, when in reality I see my daughter as a bonus :). She adds experience to my life and is part of the package. I think as a mom you have control over whether kids are baggage or a package, ya know?” - Heather

This I know to be true about Becoming a Parent:

My entire life I was told to get married and THEN have children. I assumed that’s how my future would unfold, especially since I was more focused on my education and my career than men. Don’t get me wrong. I did date. A lot. I just didn’t settle down and perhaps hit the snooze button on my biological clock. I also focused on my faith and “hoped” to one day abstain.

When some of my friends had children without rings on their fingers, I thought marriage, like a magic wand, would make their problems disappear. I didn’t really think about all the logistics in getting to the altar. At the time, I didn’t think I was pushing my agenda down their throats or judging their decision-making skills. I thought I was being a good friend by giving what I thought to be good advice.

Like the saying goes, you have to walk a mile in someone’s shoes before you can judge them. So when I got pregnant by a long-term boyfriend (not my husband), I got a pair of size nines (flats not heels, because at the end of my third trimester, my ankles were swollen!). I still wanted to get married. I wanted to ignore the red flags and arguments and walk down the aisle clutching a bouquet full of doubts. I didn’t want to change or put in any additional work. Heck, I was already exhausted, and my iron level dropped daily. I loved the father, and that’s all that matters, right? WRONG!

After many months and many tears, I realized that what may be ideal isn’t always realistic. Sometimes you have to make the best out of your situation, even if that means parenting under two roofs and maybe even marrying someone else. My situation isn’t perfect, but the result…my daughter…is :).

Click here to read the previous seven entries in the Find Your Truth series.


Feel inspired to share some truths of your own? Send us an email at with the subject “My Truth” and let us know that you would like to be featured.

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Jess said...

I was sold from the opening quote. Ideals are so hard to shake, SO HARD!!!! And leaving that house of "should" takes an amazing amount of courage, but the beautiful things that come (such as children) that come from stepping outside of ideals are so worth it.

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