What is your intention?

I really admire people who are proactive, go-getters who are always up to take an adventure, try something new, or step out of their comfort zone. I’ve never identified myself as a member of this club. And for that very reason, I’ve talked myself right out of so many things by telling myself that I’m lazy and I’m a procrastinator and that I will always be that way. I never realized that I was sabotaging myself by thinking this way. I just really thought that it was true! This is how negative conditioning can fool you and keep you from becoming the explorer that you were meant to be.

My intention for 2010 is to live out the word ENERGIZED. This is my word of the year. I will no longer call myself lazy, tired and old, because I am truly none of these things! The first step is to stop thinking of myself this way, and replacing those thoughts with appropriate contradictions that affirm my limitless potential and energy to live, love and experience all that life has to offer! How often do I hear myself say “I don’t feel like it. I’m too tired. Let me know how it was. I’ll go next time. I’ll take care of that later.” By putting things off, I waste precious energy on worrying about the fact that I’ve put them off and feeling guilty about it. By not trying new things, I’m limiting my growth and missing out on opportunities.

I cannot name one time that I’ve stepped out of my comfort zone and didn’t learn something new about myself, and if you haven’t noticed, I’m all about self-discovery. So therein lies the question, what the heck am I afraid of? Afraid of failure? Success? Embarrassment? Awkwardness? Regret? Expectations? All of the above, I suppose. It seems so silly to me. I frustrate myself by being able to write these insightful things, but then often finding it difficult to live out the truth of it in my own life.

Baby steps.

I ask myself the tough questions, dig deep for honest answers, and set an intention to be mindful of myself and my choices.

What I spend my energy on, should be just as important as what I spend my money on. When I catch myself wasting energy on things I cannot control and thinking negatively, I will practice replacing those thoughts. I know this is not an overnight thing or just a year long thing - this is a life long thing. It takes time to replace behaviors that are so deeply ingrained. There’s no rush or need to beat up on myself. I’m a work in progress.

An ENERGIZED work in progress.

Deciding how to spend your time and energy should be a thoughtful process, because they are both precious commodities. Rest and personal time is extremely important, and my priority to take care of myself in this area certainly hasn’t changed. However, I am hoping with time that I will have the wisdom to recognize when I’m allowing fear to trick me and when I’m really in need of rest and rejuvenation. I don’t expect easy squeezy, and I don’t expect that I won’t resist my own admirable intentions. I know myself better than that. But what I also know is that since I’ve discovered that I have the free will choice to be happy or not, I’ve been happy. Since I’ve discovered that I have the choice of whether to love and be loved unconditionally or not, I’ve been loved unconditionally. Everything is a choice. I’m choosing to be energized, empowered and juiced up on life.

And so it shall be!

What is your word of the year?