Monday, February 28, 2011

Who You Are vs. Who You "Ought" to Be


When's the last time you stopped to think about how much you've grown? How far you've come? How much you've changed? It's great to have goals, hopes and dreams, but sometimes we get so caught up in how we want to be that we begin to beat ourselves up for how we are. This leads to negative self-talk and low self-esteem. There was probably a time when you were scared to do what you are doing right now. You should celebrate yourself for that.

Perfection is not only unattainable; it leaves no room for improvement. Nevermind how anyone else thinks you "ought" to be. Remember that you are already whole and worthy of all good things. With every experience, you simply grow and become more aware of it.

Today, think about ways that people criticize you (or ways that you criticize yourself).  Take this opportunity to reaffirm all that you are right now at this moment in time. I'll go first:

My grandmother tells me that I ought to go to church more often, and I often feel guilty and misunderstood after our discussions.

With all due respect to my grandma, I only go to church occasionally and I've never felt more in tuned with God than I do now. Instead of feeling guilty about not going to church, I feel blessed to have a spiritual plan that works for me.

My impatient ego tells me that I ought to be writing for a living by now and that I'm getting old.

Everyday I must remind myself to stop and smell the roses and appreciate the journey. I've been working at the same company since I graduated from college, and I never imagined that I'd be handling the complex client relationships that I handle today. I'm fortunate to have a career that challenges me intellectually and supports my family. I am more than happy to ride this out as I explore my passion for writing and where it takes me.

Sometimes I feel inadequate because of my laid-back nature and wish that I was more aggressive.

There's something to be said for having the cognizance to pick and choose your battles. Aggressive behavior is not always a display of strength. The ability to bend and not break is severly underrated. I must remember to have confidence in my peaceful nature.

Please share yours in the comments. We are always inspired by your thoughts and stories!


Alexis said...

This is great. Just this morning I had to check myself on being impatient. It's good to always find the jewels within and treasure them.

Stephanie said...

This is great. I was just giving this some thought after hearing Tracee Ellis-Ross say that her mother encouraged her to find herself and to be the best her that she could be. That really hit home with me. Most times I am trying to be who I think I SHOULD be instead of accepting myself. Your words are going to help me as I begin to accept myself for who I already am. Thanks.

Lexi said...

This hit right on time. Today I found out that someone I work with will be moving on to a different company to a position higher than the one they posses here. For some reason for as long as I can remember, it made me feel like I should be doing more, it made me feel like i'm being left behind, even though the company I work for is great! It's weird....and I'm trying to understand why i feel that way,...this helps. :)

GG said...

@Alexis I'm so impatient!!! I really working on this everyday. I always want what I want RIGHT AWAY.

@Stephanie What Traci said about her mom really hit home for me too!!! I want to instill that same simple message into my kids. That alone can sustain them through so many uncertain times that they will surely face in life.

@Lexi I've felt those same emotions. I have this fear of being unacknowledged...left behind...or something...I dunno. But I realize that it's just lack trying to get to the forefront of my mind. I know now that there's enough to go around for everyone and that I can't miss out on what's meant for me. :)
Thanks for sharing ladies!

Anonymous said...

GG, continue writing these encouraging posts. You wouldn't believe how far across the world they impact. I really can relate to this post in particular. I share the sentiment on spirituality and church. I shall read this again.

GG said...

Thanks @Anon!!! That means soooo much. Let me tell you, the spiritual gifts that I get from this blog alone are absolutely PRICELESS. If you haven't read this post ( already, check it out.

Ebony Nesbit said...

Thanks for your writing. It's allowing my the grip I need to actually understanding my thought better.

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