AT YOUR BEST ~ Kenya



Graduation Day

Tell us why you felt at your best in this moment:
I felt best at this moment for several reasons: I was celebrating my 35th birthday; I was a new mom; and I’d just earned my Masters in Public Administration--while being pregnant. I felt overwhelmingly blessed, and a sense of joy and accomplishment.

I always wanted to return back to school earn my masters degree, but felt like since I did not do as well in undergrad, that maybe I would not get accepted or wondered, “what makes me think I could earn a Master’s degree?”! I also wanted to become a mom and that part I did not have any control over, other than just praying to God that he would bless my husband and me with a child. Well, with the encouragement and support from my wonderful husband who believes that I can do anything, I applied to graduate school! My first quarter I received a 4.0 and began to gain confidence in myself that I could do this! Well, shortly after starting the program, to my excitement I found out that I was pregnant! Not only was I pregnant, but the Lord blessed us to be pregnant with twins! I still remained in graduate school, with determination and a goal to be almost finished with my program by the time the babies were due. To my dismay, we got the heart breaking news that one of the twins had passed away and that the likelihood of the other surviving were very slim. I was given the option to abort the remainder of the pregnancy or to just wait for the other baby to pass! My husband and I decided to leave it in God’s hands and decided to wait it out! In the meantime, I remained in grad school still holding a 4.0. Months passed by and I was still pregnant!

On January 23rd 2010, I gave birth to a beautiful baby girl! Our miracle blessing who doctors never thought should have made it! I also completed my Masters in Public Administration on August 29th 2010. The best husband in the whole entire world, who always believes in me and had no doubts, threw a beautiful Birthday/Graduation party! It was all in my honor to celebrate my accomplishments. That day I was surrounded with so much love from my family and friends! I felt absolutely beautiful!

Birthday/Graduation Party

Later, on January 22, 2011, my husband, daughter and I traveled to Miami, FL to attend my graduation ceremony--which just so happened to be the day before my daughter’s 1st Birthday! Walking across that stage that day and hearing my name called knowing my wonderful family was there cheering me on was like an out of body experience! Who would have ever thought, a black girl that was a product of a mother who got pregnant at 14 years old and married at 15, and of two parents who did not even earn a high school diploma, would be walking across the stage earning a masters degree! I felt my best at that moment because my beautiful daughter will always know the true meaning of determination, perseverance and education! She can look back at this picture and say “there are my mommy and daddy holding me at my mommy’s Masters Degree graduation ceremony and I was turning “1”!

How do you define beauty:

I define beauty as being on the inside! Someone who is kind spirited, respectful and nonjudgmental. Looking beyond people’s faults! Outward beauty is having poise, radiance and being self assured.

How do you define happiness:

Happiness is when you have loving family and friends. Happiness is when you don’t need the material things in life to satisfy you, but you’re rich in Love!

Your turn! Send your pics in to PeaceLovePrettyThings@gmail.com and tell us why you felt happy and beautiful and at your best in that moment. Feel free to share your favorite quotes about happiness and beauty and we'll include them with your feature. Please put AT YOUR BEST in the subject line.

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Loving Reminders

source

Sometimes we can be self-deprecating, perceiving ourselves as "less than", and zeroing in on our perceived faults, shortcomings and weaknesses. In those moments, it helps to have a support system--a group of cheerleaders--reminding us to think positively about ourselves.

I keep a list of "loving reminders" for this purpose. This list consists of what I like to call "sweet nothings" from friends and family; things that they've said or written to me that lift me up. I can review it when I'm beating myself up and need reminders of my strengths and unique gifts. You could use kudos from your boss at work or a testimonial from a client—any positive feedback that you can reference as a testament to how amazing you are.

Here are excerpts from a few of mine:

"You just exude ‘communication’ in person. I’m not just saying that because you’re my buddy, you really do. The tone of your voice, the way you speak, the way you write….you’re a great communicator..." ~YS

"…you are now in a place where you are making wiser decisions. You're more aware. That means that you will face these kinds of situations with a confidence of knowing what you want and don't want. You won't spend time in limbo or denial. You have to keep doing what you know is right for you and communicating what is NOT right for you. You're so on the right track so try not to judge or be hard on yourself for how long it takes…" ~RH

"HOW AWESOME IS YOUR SPIRIT KIM???? WHAT IN THE H**L MAKES U TICK?? I WISH I COULD CLONE YOU TO SO MANY OF MY BLACK SISTAS; INSIDE AND OUT, YOU ARE A BEAUTIFUL PERSON!" ~MC

Do you keep a source of positive energy on-hand? Perhaps a loving reminders list; or maybe affirmations for positive self-talk? What do you do to give yourself a boost when you’re down in the dumps?

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Guest Post: Coming Out of the Closet and Finding Your Calling

In this PLPT guest post, Jess J. shares the closet experience that led her to step out of her comfort zone and change her life.

Have you ever sat in your closet, crying and holding yourself asking repeatedly to the omnipotent more insightful you that rests silently in your mind until specifically called upon, “how did I get here?” How did I get to this place of routine, comfort, and completely void of passion? What one decision changed the course of my life, straying from the golden road of childhood dreams with no bread crumb trail to lead me back? Have you ever been so angry at something you could not identify? I have.

I remember standing still and examining the broken shards of glass that were my life; glistening like diamonds in the sunlight but leaving me wounded, weak and bleeding at closer look. What I had was not happiness, it was complacency. I was working at a job that had excellent benefits, good pay, room for advancement, supportive management, and cooperative coworkers, and I was dying. I heard a long time ago that we only change when it’s a life or death decision; if I never believed it before, at that moment in time I did.

I knew something had to change. I had nothing to give.

I was a shell of myself and my insides were cocooned in webs of waiting. After college there was so much pressure to figure out my next move, take the good job offer, and be on par with my classmates that I left myself no time to answer the question, “What do you want?” As a result, all of the best parts of me began to preserve themselves leaving me with very little to offer the world. When my motivation began to amber over, I could not ignore how heavy I had become, I had no other choice but to look around and examine myself closely and what I saw left me curled up on my closet floor.

I quit my job. Not because I could afford to, but because I couldn't long afford not to. I began a rigorous self-exploration, digging through parts of me that had become strange wasteland. I kept asking myself, “What do you want,” repeatedly and forcefully, dissatisfied with feeble and superficial answers I plowed through my own earth determined to find the answer. The layers I moved through included expectation; what my family wanted for me, what society anticipated from me, what friends predicted, and then I reached the hardest layer of self expectations.

I had to give up the impossible standards I’d set for myself in order to get to my core, my center and my essence which is nothing more than a white light of acceptance; which is everything. I asked myself one last time “What do you want,” exasperated from my journey, dirty and covered in grimy “shoulds”; I answered in a voice full of knowing, “I don’t know, but I will.” And that was the beginning.

Sometimes it’s hard until it’s easy. At some point though, I think we must all ask ourselves what we want and demand the truth. We must sift through the values and standards that other people have given us and keep only the ones that our heart recognizes as sound. We have to live our own truth, or the closet is coming. When you are still, you can hear that voice of the omnipotent you telling you everything you need to know. Your career, your vocation is a calling. It is the world calling you to contribute by giving your talent in such a way that it benefits others. You have to first know what your talent is. Until you know who you are, you cannot answer another question.

In my work as a therapist, people come in daily saying, I don’t know what to do with my life. I ask them, in response, what they want to do. More often than not I see grey fill their eyes and I know they have not yet made the journey to themselves. It starts there. There are only three things: recognize what you are called to do, do it, strive for excellence not success. Do that and you have everything.

For more of Jess J.'s insights, check out her blog and her tumblr.

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14 Truths That Have Changed My Life

Keep me where the Light is

Happy Monday, y'all!  I started making this list in my journal and thought this would be a great opportunity for us all to share.  The key to this list is that these are truths that I have learned from MY life.  These are not things that someone told me or drilled into me.  Let us know if you can relate to any of these:

1.  I can't miss out on what is meant for me.

2.  Loving myself has allowed me to be more vulnerable and thus more outgoing and more impactful.

3.  A peaceful and calm nature is a strength, not a weakness.

4.  Abundance is not just about money. It's a feeling of knowing that you already have everything you need.

5.  I can't change other people, but I can change how I interact with them.

6.  Guilt nags at me in every situation where I have yet to let go and live peacefully with my decisions.

7.  Just because someone is angry, loud, or dismissive towards me doesn't mean they are right.

8.  Failure is temporary.

9.  I don't need constant attention to have a good time and feel sure of myself.

10.  Asking questions is empowering.

11.  The things that other people do have nothing to do with me and everything to do with themselves.

12.  Finding meaning in every moment is more valuable than finishing first.

13.  I don't need to always be right, always have the last word or always be faultless.

14.  The only thing that has prevented me from achieving anything in life is my belief that I could not do it.

What truths and life lessons have you picked up from personal experience that have changed your life??  Share with us in the comments.

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Love Notes - Friday 3/25/11

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AT YOUR BEST ~ Lucy

Tell us why you felt at your best in this moment:

I was out celebrating the graduation of a friend in this picture (me at the right). I'm my happiest when I am surrounded by my friends and having a great time. I feel my best around them because I don't have to "behave". I'm myself: silly, crazy and unapologetically me.

How do you define beauty:

Beauty is confidence. It radiates from the inside out. It is fearless.

How do you define happiness:

Happiness is finding the beauty in the simple pleasures of life. Life is too short to be unhappy.

Quote:

The most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen or even touched, they must be felt with the heart."


Helen Keller

Your turn! Send your pics in to PeaceLovePrettyThings@gmail.com and tell us why you felt happy and beautiful and at your best in that moment. Feel free to share your favorite quotes about happiness and beauty and we'll include them with your feature. Please put AT YOUR BEST in the subject line.

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Why I'm Thinking About Burning My To-Do List

Lately, I've been feeling very impatient. It's as if I've forgotten how to relax. Even when I'm supposed to be relaxing, my mind is going going going going. I try to breathe, stretch and meditate and my mind still relentlessly runs through list after list of things I need to do.  When I do forget something or I fall behind on tasks, it bothers me way too much.  Sometimes it even bothers me when I see my family relaxing because I think they should be busy busy busy like me!  I realize that somehow, some way I've got to get my chill back. Right now, I literally feel like a puppy chasing his tail around and around exhausting myself and not accomplishing anything.

I've always been a list-maker and it gives me so much satisfaction to check things off.  However, my lists are unreasonable if not outrageous and they're simply not effective these days.  I'm going to try Leo Babauta's One Thing System which essentially means that I will choose One Thing each day that I'm excited about and will get done no matter what.  Sure, I'll still keep my master list(s), but I will choose One Thing from it each day.  If I finish that One Thing and still have the desire to do more, then I will.  If not, I will relax and be content knowing that I got that One Thing done.   We'll see how this works out.

I hunted down the following excerpts to remind me of the importance of relaxation and patience:

"We cannot rush our victory; we cannot cut short our pains. Everything happens when it needs to happen; everyone is always where they need to be. You will never miss out on what is meant for you, even if it has to come to you in a roundabout way. When we relax and follow our inner guidance, everything that we should have is all that we get. When we rush around trying to make it, disappointment may be all we get."
~author unknown

"Patience is a virtue many do not possess. We have very little difficulty identifying what we want and need. The difficulty comes in waiting for it to manifest. We become doubtful, even fearful when we don't see our good coming as quickly as we think it should. Sometimes we even allow ourselves to believe someone or something can hold us back or stop our good from coming. We worry, we complain and sometimes we give up hope. We cannot see how we get in our own way. We forget about universal timing and divine order. We may not realize how our negative thoughts, doubts and fears uproot the positive seeds we plant. We just don't understand that we would not have the desire unless the supply were ready to come forward."
~author unknown

"Most of us do not work because we want to; we work because we think we have to work for money. The problem is that is all we do. We forget that life is more than work. Life is also about balance. In order to have balance, we must do more than work. What about fun? We need fun to keep our minds off work. How about rest? Not just sleeping to get ready for the next days work, but resting the body and mind from all activity. What about solitude? Take an hour or perhaps a day away from the hustle and bustle of life and people. It's called a mental health break. Let us not forget the mind. Education. It helps to keep the gray matter upstairs from getting dusty. Work is necessary but it is not the only thing required to get ahead. All work and no play may give us a balanced checkbook, but it can also give us an unbalanced mind."
~author unknown

Do you have any quotes, scriptures or affirmations about patience and serenity? I could sure use them right now. How do you stay mindful in the midst of your busy, active life? Please share in the comments.

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