Thursday, August 20, 2009

Enough!



I will stop judging myself to be not enough.

There was a time, not very long ago, where I found myself trapped in a constant state of “not enough”. I felt I wasn’t pretty/skinny/educated/rich/savvy/talented enough. I felt like “less than”. I compared myself to others waaay to often. “I’m not as fabulous as she is. I wish my relationship was like theirs. I wish I had as much money as she does. She’s prettier than me. Her hair is so much longer than mine.….” It was never ending.

I think I’d started using other people as a mirror or a key to what I thought I should be when I was in middle school. I was always the younger girl who had skipped two grades, trying desperately to balance fitting in with being myself. It continued (and probably got worse) in high school and right on through college. I was in a constant state of metamorphosis, trying to create in myself what I saw in others or what I thought people wanted me to be. And I carried that mess into adulthood—even spilling over into relationships! I can’t count the number of times I thought or said, “Well, I’m sorry but I can’t. I just don’t have the capacity.” UGH! Such limiting words, “can’t” and “don’t”. I was setting myself up for failure without even realizing it. I made everything in my relationships about me and everything in my life about my lack.

What I have discovered though, in the past couple of years, is that I am enough. I had to be broken down and stripped of everything I thought was important. I had to lose and lose and lose and lose in order to make a decision that I didn’t intend to live life as a loser. It was time to figure out who I was, what I wanted, and how I was going to get it. The days of comparing myself to others were over because I realized they weren’t going through my struggle and I hadn’t gone through theirs. I realized that I am completely unique. My thoughts/words/talents/hair/legs/arms/life lessons are all uniquely mine. No one can have more of them or be better at them than me--just as I can’t be successful at trying to be like anyone else. What I know now—through continuous prayer, meditation, yoga, reading, exercising and writing—is that I am enough! I am pretty/intelligent/talented/financially secure/funny/fabulous enough! Just enough. I am the perfect me and that IS enough. It’s enough for me and enough for anybody who dares to love me.

My life and my journey are not about what anybody else says/thinks/feels about me. I get to choose: how hard I work, how far I stretch, how often I push; I get to choose success over fear of inadequacy. I get to choose peace in my heart over judgment of my situation. I get to be true to myself every day all day, and to act on what I believe to be true about myself. Nobody else’s opinion really matters. All that exists is what I see in me.

11 comments:

GG said...

I KNOW THAT'S RIGHT!!!!!!!!!

Naturi Beauty said...

Congratulations to you sis for having the courage to be so honest and share. You are "divinely dope" (my fave made-up coined phrase :) and you came here with all the tools that you will ever need to manifest WHATEVER you desire. Thanks for writing and being an inspiration!

Peace Love and Pretty Things said...

"Divinely Dope"! My NEW fav made-up coined phrase, lol. I tried that label on and it fit PERFECTLY! Thank you so much for the words of encouragement, Naturi Beauty! Please stop back by soon!

Alexis said...

Wow, this post is amazing. I love everything about it. I have a very similar story and I relate to the wonderful feeling of finding your worth and relishing it. Thank you for sharing this!

jessj said...

I had to quote this on my blog because I've been feeling like so down lately and this is exactly what I needed to read. Thank you

Chic Mommy, Cool Kid said...

I'm so glad this touched you, jessj. The important thing to remember is that you don't have to continue to be down. Sit with the feeling for a little while and then release it and move on. We hope you continue to find things that inspire you here.

Chic Mommy, Cool Kid said...

Thank you Alexis! There's no feeling quite like self-love and self-worth is there?! :-)

Cleo Sunshine said...

I like this post, I have to thank jessj for linking me up. I find it inspiring and true for myself as well, i constantly think of myself in comparison to others. A habit I sometimes think I've broken until it comes up again. Thanks for sharing your story!

Chic Mommy said...

I have to thank jessj for sending you here too, Cleo Sunshine! Sharing my story is that much more worth it when other people relate. Then we know we aren't alone and we can lift each other up. I hope you continue to find things here that inspire you!

Empress65 said...

WOW!!! THANK YOU!!! This is exactly what I need to remind myself of constantly. I now have a new "I AM..." statement. I AM ENOUGH!

Kim Jackson said...

@ Empress65 You're so welcomed! Affirming it constantly will allow you to better see the truth in it. So glad this post met you where you needed it.

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