Love Notes - Friday 9/30/11

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Pretty Things: A Natural Hair Update

It's been awhile since I updated you all on my hair journey, so in this post I want to share my recent discoveries and thoughts about natural hair.

Back in June 2010, I decided that I wanted to grow my hair to waist length.  These were my thoughts at the time:  "I've decided to set a length goal. I didn't want to set one before, because I didn't want to make my natural hair journey about a specific outcome. Now that I've accomplished the "going natural" part, I really am curious to see if my natural hair can surpass the length I achieved before college and if I can maintain it."

Since then, I've had a third child and been promoted at work and have another child in school and well, suffice it to say that I have even less time to spend on my hair.  This past summer, I got to the point where I felt like I wouldn't  be able to handle my hair anymore if it got any longer!   The detangling sessions were getting out of control.  I was spending so much time detangling and twisting and using so much product that it was becoming annoying and expensive.  I had to re-evaluate.  The way I see it, hair is supposed to be fun.  I want styling and caring for my hair to be a relaxing past time for me, not a source of stress.  Many of my friends and acquaintances have told me that natural hair was just too much work for them.  And I was beginning to understand how they felt!

So, what I did was empty my mind of any subconscious notions that I was harboring about how I should or shouldn't be styling my hair and products that I should or shouldn't be using.  I opened my mind back up to things that I'd "abolished" since starting my natural hair journey.  And now, I'm back on the right track and my hair is thriving! 

Here's what I've learned:

* Trimming.  I got 2 inches trimmed from my hair in August 2011.  Oh my goodness, no wonder my detangling sessions had gotten so crazy.  Ever since my trim, detangling is a breeze, everything is a breeze.  Washing, styling....EVERYTHING!  Before the trim, I'd gone at least a year and a half without a professional trim. I'd maintained my hair by simpling trimming it myself occasionally.  I was retaining length, so I thought it was fine.  When you're wearing your hair curly, you don't necessarily need it to be cut a certain way so it's easy to look at your hair section by section and think it's doing ok.  But if your hair is getting noticeably more difficult to detangle, it may be a sign that you need a "real" trim.  I certainly don't want waist length hair that's full of knotty ends.

* Stretching.  My natural hair is thin, very shrinky, and very prone to knots.  I find that when I keep my hair stretched, I get significantly less knots and splits and my hair requires less work.  Styling sessions are quicker and less frequent and my hair retains moisture for longer amounts of time.  I stretch my hair through any combination of the following:  blowdrying (no more than twice a month), roller setting, braiding, bunning (stretches roots), or banding.  I had to give up the idea that stretching my hair was like relaxing it.  Hardly.  My goal was to stop putting relaxers in my hair so that it would be healthier and thicker. Sometimes you have to pause and remember what your goals were for your hair and open your mind.  Things might not play out exactly the way you thought, but you can still get there.  For me, wash and go's aren't going to be my vehicle to achieving healthier, thicker hair.

* Sealing.  I moisturize my hair on four levels.  First with a spray - it could be just water or it could be a leave-in like Jane Carter's Revitalizing Leave-In, Infusium 23 Moisturizing Leave-In or Fermodyl 619 for coarse/curly hair.  Then I add a layer of a light, water-based creamy moisturizer like Kinky Kurly Knot Today, Bee Mine Luscious Balanced Moisturizer, Qhemet Burdock Root Butter Cream, or Giovanni Direct Leave-in.  Next, I see with an oil or shea butter based product like coconut oil, Hot Six Oil, Bee Mine Hair and Scalp Moisturizer, Pink Oil Moisturizer (yes, I'm fine with sealing with mineral oil) or others.  Finally, I seal over top of that with a silicone based serum.  Adding this final steps gives me moisturized hair for days!!  It may sound like a lot, but it works for me.  Some nights, I put on a clear plastic cap and tie my scarf around it.  This acts like a mini-heated moisturizing treatment and helps to remoisturize my hair when I'm between styling sessions.

None of these are things you haven't heard before, but these small changes have rejuvenated my love affair with my hair.  If you're feeling frustrated with your hair, take a step back and consider where you can be more open minded to trying different things.  Just because other "naturals" don't do it, doesn't mean it won't work for you. 

Whether you're relaxed or natural, what adjustments have you made to your routines or beliefs that have resulted in happier hair and a happier you?! 

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PLPT GEMS: Meet Leticia

PLPT GEMS Presents

Leticia, of Organic Fusion 

Consultant. Music Lover. Soul Chaser.

Share with us a defining moment in your life that has shaped the woman you are today.

I don’t think it was just one moment, it was many moments and decisions that defined the woman I am today. I believe that each decision we make is an opportunity for us to be great. Reflection is also important to me. Sometimes when things don’t go well I take a moment to reflect and ask myself what I could have done differently to make sure I don’t make the same mistake twice.

Tell us about Chasing Soul and how you came to start your business?

I started Chasing Soul in June of 2010 as a creative outlet to share my musical journey. I have always loved music but felt like there was still a lot that I was missing. At the time I didn’t realize that Chasing Soul would lead to the creation of our business, Organic Fusion. In August of 2010 I was offered an opportunity to attend a music festival to get content for the blog. I took my friend Angenella with me and during the festival we were connecting with the artists backstage and utilizing social media to provide event updates. After the event we were contacted by our first client and he really inspired us to start the business (you never know who is watching you). Angenella and I decided to join forces and that is how the business was created. We partner with our clients to provide a variety of consulting services, social media strategy, and online marketing/promotions. We have also completed other projects such as management of a video shoot for Conya Doss which was an amazing experience. Taking this journey has been one of the best life decisions I have made -- my life will never be the same.



Leticia with Conya Doss

What are the most fulfilling and most challenging aspects of starting a business?

The most fulfilling aspect of starting the business is partnering with our clients to help them follow their passion. It really doesn’t feel like work. I have often you heard people say “Do what you love and it won’t feel like work” and now I finally understand what that means. The most challenging aspect of starting a business is work/life balance. So much to do, so little time.

What advice do you have for managing a day job, a family, a side hustle, and everything else on your plate (without going crazy)?

Two things are critical for me to maintain balance – prioritization and asking for help when I need it. I work full-time so it is always a challenge to meet the demands of family, working, blogging, and clients. I couldn’t do all of this without my family – their support is priceless. It is also beneficial to have Angenella to share the load with.



Angenella and Leticia - The ladies of Organic Fusion

How do you stay motivated and overcome doubt, fear and negative thinking?

Our business is still very new so we are still very motivated and continue to receive confirmation that Organic Fusion is the right business to grow.

What advice would you offer to others who are searching for their purpose or are afraid to take the first step towards their dreams?

I would recommend anyone searching for their passion to find out what makes them happy and pursue it relentlessly! Just take one step and one step will lead into another. Also, I recommend surrounding yourself with people that will support you and push you out of your comfort zone. You can’t do it alone.

Name someone who has inspired you and why.

I have been inspired by so many people but my Grandmother has been the most influential. She is 91 years old and has lived her life to be one of the most giving, confident, loving people I know. She is my rock!

How can our readers connect with you?

You can connect me via the blog: ChasingSoul.com, Facebook, Twitter

You can also connect with our business Organic Fusion: Facebook, Twitter

I look forward to connecting with you!

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Love Notes - Friday 9/23/11

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Why You Need to Let Go of Your Anger

In this PLPT Guest Post, Pastor/Professor Lawrence Ware reminds us of why it is so damaging to hold onto anger, and why we need to let it go.

There are few actions more harmful to our spiritual selves than holding on to anger.

Now, don't get me wrong: anger is a natural emotion. It is as natural for us to feel anger as for us to feel fear, joy, or sadness.

Anger can be good. Malcolm X, Gandhi, and Martin Luther King, Jr. all are examples of individuals who were angered by conditions of injustice and used that anger to fight for the well being of mankind.

It is not the emotion of anger that troubles me—it is the holding on to anger that I am addressing.

So many of us have been hurt in the past, and we allow the pain of that past experience to negatively effect us today.

So many people have been so hurt by past relationships that they live in a state of existential angst—they want a new relationship, but are unable to live healthily within it.

Too many mothers have been hurt by the fathers of their children, and now the anger they feel toward these men is straining the relationship their children have with their fathers.

The list could go on forever—too many of us hold on to anger. What we do not realize is that holding on to that anger hurts us more than it hurts the subjects of our disdain. The Buddha said it best:

Holding on to anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else; you are the one who gets burned.

You have to let it go.

The anger you feel toward that man; that woman. I am not asking you to excuse what they have done. Do not condone it. Do not pretend it never happened. Do not walk around with a fake smile upon your face—if you feel pain express it. If you are angry address it.

But here is the key: Let it go.

Stop going over in your mind what happened; reigniting the flames of anger that time would have otherwise put out. You are only hurting yourself. You will not bring more joy to your life by holding on to that anger. You will not have peace as long as that anger has residency in your heart.

Please, it is time to let it go.

Lawrence Ware is lecturing professor of philosophy at Oklahoma State University and Pastor of Christian Education at Prospect Church. He writes for Tikkun and Religion Dispatchers all while living in Oklahoma City with his wife and sons.

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PLPT GEMS: Meet Rosetta

PLPT GEMS Presents

Rosetta Thurman

Author. Life Coach. Keynote Speaker.

In 2010, you quit your full time, non-profit job and founded Thurman Consulting, an education company specializing in leadership, entrepreneurship and social media. Based on your experience, please share some best practices with us on transitioning from employed to self-employed. What worked well and what do you wish you'd done differently?

The best thing I did was to build up my reputation and personal brand in my industry before I struck out on my own. I started my nonprofit blog at rosettathurman.com in 2007 and little did I know, my online presence would be THE factor in paving the road for a consulting business in the future. In 2008, I began to solicit paid opportunities while I still had the financial cushion of a full-time job. For two years, I took consulting gigs and speaking engagements on the side. I worked evenings, weekends and used vacation time to work on my "side hustle" while still being committed to my 9 to 5. By the time I quit my job, I had enough business lined up to be financially viable on my own, plus connections for future business.

One thing I wish I had done differently was to save more money before leaving my job. I had about 3 months of living expenses saved up when I left, but it would have been ideal to have at least 6. That way, I could have been more selective about how many clients to take on in the beginning. I took on a lot of work (probably too much!) right away to mitigate the initial costs of starting my business.

Just to give you more of a sense of the transitions I made in my business - in the beginning, I relied heavily on long-term contracts with nonprofits to support their programs and communications. I hated it, because it limited my ability to pursue other kinds of work as well as travel. Now, I focus primarily on speaking, coaching and training nonprofit leaders and passionate entrepreneurs. I absolutely LOVE what I do :)

PLPT has been following your blog, Happy Black Woman, for a long time and have watched it evolve from more personal exploration to include lifestyle and career coaching. You also actively manage two other blogs. What role has blogging played in your professional and personal development?

Blogging was the launching pad for my business. It has been THE main way that clients learn about me, my work and what I stand for. For the speaking aspect of my business, for instance, all of my clients come through my blog or through word of mouth, usually from social media circles. In my professional development, blogging has given me a platform to inform and inspire other people. In my personal development, blogging has allowed me a space to explore my own interests and connect with like-minded people in many different industries.

You created the 31 Day Reset program last year which has been hugely successful! (For those of you who don't know, the 31 Day Reset program is a personal development challenge to help you "manifest change in your life or simply gain more clarity about your path to happiness and success." What other resources/programs do you offer on your site?

The 31 Day Reset has become the signature personal development program on Happy Black Woman. I also offer an entrepreneurship program, Side Hustle Boot Camp to help other women start making money doing what they love. In that program, I teach everything I know about getting the word out about you and your new business. You can learn more about that program at howtostartasidehustle.com. We are working on the live version right now, but the online version will be offered again soon.

What is a typical day in the life of Rosetta Thurman? What is your favorite part of the day?

My favorite part of the day is the morning! These days, I get up by 8am and read a daily reflection from Mark Nepo's "Book of Awakening." Then I do a walking or sitting mediation on a different theme depending on what intention I want to call forth for the day. Sometimes it's compassion. Sometimes it's love. Sometimes it's clarity. Most of the time it's courage. Courage not to hold myself back and sabotage my gifts. Courage to share what I know with other people. I try to eat healthy as much as possible throughout the day and take breaks to walk around the block and talk to my mom and sister. Some days, I'm traveling to different parts of the country to speak at conferences and events. Other days, I might spend the day downtown meeting with colleagues or catching up with friends. I usually do most of my blogging in the morning and conduct coaching calls in the afternoon. My "official" work day ends around 6pm, but I often use the late evening hours to work on longer-term writing and training projects I have in the works.

Who is your support system and how do they help you reach your goals?

My mom is totally my biggest supporter. She runs a fitness consulting business so she gets what I'm going through and also offers me business coaching when I need it! I also rely on my online connections - I love learning from and sharing information with other consultants, speakers, coaches and entrepreneurs. I am also a member of the Young Entrepreneurs Council, which has been great for higher-level connections and visibility. Last month, we were invited to the White House for a special event where I was able to meet other young entrepreneurs who were doing AMAZING things and motivated me to think bigger about my own business.

Do you ever experience moments of fear, regret or self-doubt? How do you overcome this negative thinking?

Yes. Not as much as I used to, but yes. One of the things I try to remember is that although I feel fear, I am not the fear itself. It helps to sort of notice when I'm thinking negatively and ask myself where the thoughts are coming from and journal about them in the moment. More often than not, my fear or self-doubt has more to do with perceptions of how I compare or "stack up" to others rather than the truth of my own unique gifts.

I also live by business guru Tom Peters' motto: "Test fast, fail fast, adjust fast." I don't expect everything I do to be a slam dunk, which manages my own expectations and lessens the fear of "failing."

What advice would you offer to others who are searching for their purpose, or are afraid to take the first step towards their own dreams?

Get clear about what you want for your life by creating a personal mission statement. You can find instructions for how to do that on happyblackwoman.com.

Also, fear means GO.

How can our readers connect with you?

You can learn more about me and my work at happyblackwoman.com and rosettathurman.com. I also invite you to join me in DC on November 11, 2011 for the first-ever Side Hustle Boot Camp LIVE event! It is a learning and networking event for black women entrepreneurs with a keynote speaker, entrepreneurs panel and afternoon workshops. We are planning a full day of inspiration, information and motivation to help you launch and grow your business on the side!

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With Greater Abundance Comes Greater Responsibility

With greater abundance, comes greater responsibility. You’ve heard it expressed as “to whom much is given, much is required”, or the ever so eloquent “mo money, mo problems”; but the sentiment remains the same—the more you get, the more you’re expected to give back.

Often times we ask for greater abundance to be sent into our lives, but we fail to take into account how much more will be expected of us when we receive it. We ask for a business, a home, a man, a promotion, a raise, etc…and then we move on. But we don’t stop to try and grasp how different our lives will look when we receive these things. Consider:

- What happens when you are able to start that business, but have to pay the elevated costs of health insurance on your own?

- How stressed will you become when you have to pay out that first month’s mortgage and watch your bank account dwindle further than it ever has?

- What do you cut out of your schedule in order to spend more quality time building a relationship with the man you asked to be sent into your life?

- How does the extra time spent at work due to that promotion affect your husband and/or your children? Are you going to miss homework time or activities? Will you be able to make it home for dinner?

- Now that you’ve gotten your raise, you’re in a higher tax bracket and still don’t bring home quite what you’d expected. How does this affect your budget?

None of these are issues without solutions; it’s just that we often fail to think of them ahead of time, and then find ourselves stressed out under the pressure of dealing with multiple things at once. And this is not to deter you from asking for more—you should always aim to be your best self and live your best life—but instead to remind you to be clear about what you’re asking for, and what will be expected of you when you have received it. So often we receive and receive and we’re so grateful…at first; but we complain when we’re asked to give in return.

Many of the things worth having in life require challenge and sacrifice. Don’t stop giving thanks when the challenge begins—meet it head on with the understanding that with an increased level of abundance in our lives, there comes an increased amount of responsibility; they are yin and yang--one does not exist without the other.

The great news is that the more you accomplish, the more you can handle.

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Love Notes - Friday 9/16/11

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Happy Black Girl Day - Black Girls RUN!

Black Girls RUN! tee in Black from BGR site

Often, when we’re feeling particularly down in the dumps, inspiration and motivation come from sources close to us. Such was the case for me today as I read my friend’s Sole Story at the Black Girls RUN! website. Though Leeann’s passion for running continuously inspires me to push myself physically; it was this quote about how her children inspire her that reminded me of why I do the things I have to for my son, and why I can continue to do them—no matter how difficult or uncomfortable.

“I run because it was something I never thought I could do. I wanted something to challenge myself and help me lose weight after having my twin girls. The first time I was asked to run, I said the dreaded words, “I can’t run.” Then I remember that I watched my girls, who were born at 28 weeks, grow in incubators in the NICU for three months and had they ever *said* “can’t” they would of never made it home. So I run now for them, every time I cross a finish line at a race, I thank them for their “can do” attitude that has rubbed off on me.”

You can read more of Leeann’s story at the Black Girls RUN! site.

If you’re unfamiliar with BGR, I would encourage you to head over and check it out. “In 2009, Toni Carey and Ashley Hicks created Black Girls RUN!! in an effort to tackle the growing obesity epidemic in the African-American community and provide encouragement and resources to both new and veteran runners. The mission of Black Girls RUN!! is to encourage African-American women to make fitness and healthy living a priority.” And indeed, Black Girls RUN! has become a multi-city movement, with groups of women heading out to hit the pavement together in the spirit of health and wellness. Leeann happens to be a BGR Ambassador for the Baltimore group, of which I am a member.

But there’s more than just information about running on the site, as you can see from Leeann’s interview. It serves as a point of inspiration for an overall healthy lifestyle, presenting tips on cross-training, diet and even going natural (helpful info since hair maintainence is often cited by black women as a reason to avoid exercise). Black Girls RUN! is changing the way we view our health and letting the world know that Black girls do indeed run.

For more information on Happy Black Girl Day, visit The Beautiful Struggler.

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PLPT GEMS: Meet Fatima

PLPT GEMS Presents

Fatima ~ Flowers From Fatima

Designer. Optimist. Creative Spirit.

Share with us a defining moment in your life that has shaped the woman you are today.

I can honestly say that blossoming is an ongoing life process, and that all experiences have had profound effects on me, up until this point. However, one moment that has truly shaped the woman that I am today was my decision to start my own business. It is amazing how much Flowers From Fatima has made ME bloom! I've become so much more confident, empowered, humbled, and creative. Finding my business certainly led me to finding myself. My entire perspective on living has changed. When dealing with life, full alignment with Nature is important to me. I've become more in tune with our Mother Earth, more enamored by her beauty every day, and even more whole in my thoughts and actions in respect to the Earth.

Tell us about Flowers from Fatima and how you came to start your business?

Flowers From Fatima is a designer line inspired by hope, love, positive energy, and Mother Nature. The business was sowed in December of 2009, shortly following the passing of my father, who launched a community beautification program that revitalized our neighborhood. Growing up, I was very active in the movement to change our community. Many summers, I spent time alongside my family, planting beautiful blooms in the yards and watching the butterflies and hummingbirds visit. It was such an amazing thing to see how these small flowers could attract even more beauty. Not only did I notice a change in the life that we attracted, but the spirit of the community grew to become even more peaceful, loving, and positive. Since then, my affinity for flowers has blossomed. I sought to reconnect with Mother Nature, as well as share the experience with other women, in all ways possible and the planting of Flowers From Fatima was the product of my dreams.



Custom Order



What are the most fulfilling and most challenging aspects of being self-employed?

Being self-employed is a beautiful thing when it comes to flexibility, freedom, and fun! I enjoy being able to live my life the way I see fit and having the freedom to build Flowers From Fatima at a comfortable pace, according to the tasks that my life requires at the moment. My business happens to fit perfectly into my busy life, as it is something that has become a part of me (with my extreme love for fashion and flowers). Aside from flexibility, I love the freedom that comes along with self-employment. I am not confined to the strict policies that often accompany corporate jobs. I can choose who I wish to work with, which has mainly been my family, and I love my hours! One of the most challenging aspects of self-employment is the lack of stability of the job that you have created and chosen to work. It can be difficult to endure the "slow periods" of the business, whereas having a steady career in corporate America guarantees much more. However, the goal is to reach that point with your own business to where it is more reliable in sustaining itself and your life. I understand that patience is key with all elements that involve growth, though.

How would you describe a day in the life of Fatima?

As the sole designer and President of Flowers From Fatima, I manage nearly all of the business-related tasks, from advertising to creating hair flowers. I spend half of my day online, advertising and marketing my product through social media. Depending on the tasks scheduled for the day, I will complete about 3-4 handmade accessories to be ready for purchase. When I'm not online, I'm promoting my business wherever I go, with business cards and product ready. You may even find me vending at a local venue for a special occasions. For the most part, a normal day is rather relaxing, fulfilling, and fun. I simply love what I do!

Regal Rouge Flower Hair Comb

How do you stay motivated and overcome doubt, fear and negative thinking?

Staying motivated and keeping positive thoughts was certainly something that I had to master. As I mentioned before, the sowing of Flowers From Fatima transformed me spiritually. I learned that through being optimistic about my dream, I was able to attract greater success into my life. I could never speak badly about my business or my efforts ever again after I found what worked for me, and undoubtedly, could work for anyone. I accept the twists and turns of my journey and understand that through it all, I am in control and that with the intent of seeing my seedling bloom, Flowers From Fatima will flourish in due time.

What advice would you offer to others who are searching for their purpose or are afraid to take the first step towards their dreams?

For those searching for their purpose, please know that you will find all that you are looking for when you least expect it and where you never imagined. It is something that comes naturally and will be fulfilling to both you and those that you share your gift with. Look deep inside of yourself and evaluate your strengths and pleasures in life. That is where you belong. For those who are afraid of pursuing their dreams, I wish that your fear be conquered. It is easy to fear the unknown as we cannot see what lies ahead of us, but spiritually, we actually can. Step into tomorrow with a positive state of mind and a vision for yourself and your dreams will unfold. You are a creator and have the power to manifest whatever you desire. Once you've taken the first leap forward, it's always easier to see the finish line more clearly.

Name someone who has inspired you and why.

One person who has inspired me is my father. Again, he had an extraordinary vision for a sullen community and that's all that it takes: A dream, intense focus, and extraordinary thought. You have to know that something can truly be different through all of the years of ordinary consistency. This is the foundation to all successes. I am glad that I had the chance to partake in such a life-changing experience in my younger years.



Chocolate Brown Mum Flower Hair Clips

How can our readers connect with you?

I LOVE connecting with positive people and I also design custom orders, so please take the time to visit the online boutique at http://www.flowersfromfatima.com/. You can also find Flowers From Fatima on Twitter at http://www.twitter.com/FlowersFFatima or email me at FlowersFromFatima@gmail.com.

As a special treat , Fatima has been sweet enough to offer a discount--just for our readers--for 35% OFF her beautiful products with the code "PeaceLoveBlooms". The code expires one week from today on Tuesday September 20th. Thanks Fatima!

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Your Breakthrough is Coming. Don't Give Up.

Happy Monday! 

This week, my intention is to stay focused and not allow setbacks and detours to cause me to lose faith in myself.  Do you need to affirm this for yourself, as well?  Reflect on the follow excerpt: 

source



"Your failures in life come from not realizing your nearness to success when you give up.

In setting goals, we sometimes box ourselves into time limits. Limits are fine when we have everything we need within our control. No matter who we are and what we want, we must always surrender the element of time to the divine timekeeper.

When we are not conscious of this element, we may throw our hands up in despair and walk away a moment before the breakthrough.

Our ideas and goals are the children of our minds. We nurture them with our thoughts and actions. Like a fetus in the womb, they develop in just the right way, at the right time. Eventually, labor will start. It is painful and sometimes long, but eventually the child comes to life.

Remember that time is on your side."

~Author Unknown

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Love Notes - Friday 9/9/11

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Seasons Change: Reflections on Time and Living in the Moment

source

Ready or not, Fall is upon us.  The change of seasons typically brings about a lot of self-reflection for me.  What about you?  What have you experienced this year?  What are you moving away from? What are you moving towards?   Today's quotes and affirmations remind us to keep time in the proper perspective and to take life as it comes. 

Time is the most undefinable yet paradoxical of things; the past is gone, the future is not come, and the present becomes the past even while we attempt to define it, and, like the flash of lightning, at once exists and expires. ~Charles Caleb Colton

To always be intending to live a new life, but never find time to set about it - this is as if a man should put off eating and drinking from one day to another till he be starved and destroyed. ~Walter Scott

Having spent the better part of my life trying either to relive the past or experience the future before it arrives, I have come to believe that in between these two extremes is peace. ~Author Unknown

We can easily manage if we will only take, each day, the burden appointed to it. But the load will be too heavy for us if we carry yesterday's burden over again today, and then add the burden of the morrow before we are required to bear it. ~John Newton

Let us not look back in anger, nor forward in fear, but around in awareness. ~James Thurber

We encourage you to meditate on the following affirmations to center yourself and strengthen your spirit:

I don't have to be perfect to begin my journey.
I am moving forward daily.
I acquire strength when I overcome adversity.
I am one-of-a-kind, authentic and living my truth.
I am taking action to make a positive impact on the world.
I live from a place of love and abundance.
I seek to be openminded as events unfold in my life.
All is well.

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Overcoming Moments of Fear and Doubt

A question we often ask of the women who participate in our GEMS features is, “How do you overcome moments of fear or doubt?” These are feelings that many of us have from time to time and it’s important to have a solid plan for dealing with them. When you experience moments of utter confusion or doubt; feel discouraged or uninspired; or start to doubt your purpose; there are a few things you can do to help bring you back to a place of positivity:

1. Make a List – Make a list of your personal and professional attributes, of the reasons why you’re pursuing your goal, or of pros and cons related to a particular course of action. Just make it something that helps you to feel productive, and that you can act upon later.

2. Read Something That Inspires You – Whether it’s your favorite book, your favorite blog or an article in the New York Times that is related to your industry, read it. Keep in mind that researching and staying abreast of what’s happening in your area of expertise is an important part of fully participating in it, and this is often the easiest way to garner motivation.

3. Listen to Uplifting Things – Podcasts are great to play while you’re getting ready in the morning, or cleaning. They fill that quiet space around your thoughts with positive reinforcement. I created a “positive perceptions” playlist on my iPod that is set with songs that are inspiring or even just fun! Like Mary J. Blige “Work that” and Jill Scott “Golden”. The words and the music of both are sassy and uplifting.

4. Express Gratitude – You’re going to feel better if you focus on the things you DO have, rather than if you focus on what you are lacking—that’s a no-brainer. So express gratitude for things that you do have, and that you are sure of and watch that energy attract more abundance.

5. Be Patient With Yourself – Life is all about ups and downs and ebb and flow and we have to embrace both. You can’t appreciate the light without feeling your way through the dark.

6. Get Some Rest – I find that my most negative thoughts arise when I’m tired because I’m cranky. The outlook just always seems dim through my slumber-deprived haze. But once I rest and recharge, everything looks just a little bit brighter.

Everyone has their own little tips and tricks for dealing with these crippling moments. What are some of yours?

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Love Notes - Friday 9/2/11

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