Monday, July 20, 2009

Feelings: The Good, The Bad and The Ugly

Here’s what I’ve discovered to be true about feelings—while I can’t control what I feel, I can control how I react to what I feel. I can choose to acknowledge, accept and acclimate.

When I acknowledge, I say “this is what happened and this is how I feel about it.”

When I accept, I say “this is the situation that has been presented to me—whether as a result of my actions, or of someone else’s and it can’t be undone.”

When I acclimate, I say “this is an opportunity for me to use this experience to grow and now I’ll get to decide exactly what direction I want to use this change to go in.”

This phenomenon is called freedom. And isn’t it amazing?! How can anyone or anything harm me when I know that no matter what happens, I can use it for my highest good?! Wow, I smile just thinking about the relief this knowledge brings. I don’t have to worry or stress, because I can choose to turn this around for my good! I don’t have to hold onto negative feelings of hurt or anger, because guess what?—this is ultimately going to be good for me if I choose to allow it to point me in a positive direction. I can let go of all the heavy baggage and emotional attachments to difficult situations—that are often larger in my head than they are in the grand scheme of life--and pick up my fabulous leather hobo, slide my feet into my favorite 4 inch pumps, and go about the business of being my most amazing.

Sounds too easy to be true, right? I promise, it isn’t. Just try it once, with something small. Are you starving and getting more irritable by the minute because the Chinese food is taking too long? Take a deep breath, let it go—and drive to your favorite spot to pick it up. Did that guy REALLY just give you the finger when he was in the wrong? Smile back and wave and keep it moving. And then it’ll become easier to do this in the situations where it truly matters. I read an email recently called “Lessons in Life” and one of those lessons was to frame every so-called disaster with these words: “In five years, will this matter?” Most of the time, my answer is no. What will matter is whether or not I’ve carried myself with grace and poise at all times, and whether I’ve treated my mind/body/spirit/soul/family/friends/planet with love and respect. Those are the things I’ll choose to focus on.


curlyover40 said...

Thank you for this. I recently spent a stressful weekend with family members (one sister, to be specific). I was so hurt...after I tried to reach out and help her with her life crisis and encourage others to do the same, she straight dissed me! Just to put it in terms that we can all understand. Your blog reminded me what I usually try to practice, but in a moment of emotional weakness conveniently forgot. Thanks again.

Peace Love and Pretty Things said...

Thank you for sharing your experience too, curlyover40. No matter how much we grow, we are still human and we're still going to sometimes forget or suppress the things we know to be true deep down in our spirits. It feels so great though when we can take that moment of silence, breath deep and recall how it feels to be peaceful so that we get ourselves back to that place. We must not allow ourselves to feel hurt or rejected by the choices others make, no matter how much we've done for them or how great our love.

tkaluv said...

I'm really digging this blog. All this week I've been meditating on two things: "It's not all about me." and "I can't be everything to everybody"

I love this post because it is soooo important to be mindful.

Peace Love and Pretty Things said...

Thank you! We're so glad you found something in our posts that speaks to your spirit.

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