Wednesday, July 15, 2009

The Love Affair


I must confess. I have taken a lover. We are still in the honeymoon phase of our affair, so forgive me if I gush about my lover shamelessly. Just indulge me for a moment. I have fallen head over heels for my hair. Yes, I’m talking about my hair, and I am so serious.

I stopped getting relaxers three years ago as an experiment. I always wanted thicker hair…BIG hair to be specific. But I could never achieve the volume I wanted with a relaxer in my hair. As the relaxer grew out, I developed a crush on my new growth. I could tell I was falling hard for it, but as we so often do in new relationships, I still doubted that things would work out between us. As it continued to grow, and the more we saw each other, I just fell deeper in love. I couldn’t stop thinking about it, touching it and envisioning our future together. I knew I was hooked when we would have a disagreement and I no longer felt that our relationship was being threatened. On the contrary, bad hair days brought us closer because I was learning, by trial and error, how to bring the best out of my hair. One day, I threw away the perm box in the closet that I had kept on standby…just in case. Finally, I knew that no matter what came our way, we could work it out and be strong together.

We have been loving and learning each other ever since. It’s all I ever wanted…it’s strong, healthy, quirky, confident and free. Most importantly, it’s BIG. My hair makes me feel true to myself. It reminds me that there is inspiration for every challenge because I know who I am, my identity is clear, and my mind is calm. I’m sure you can guess that this affair is about more than just hair for me. My decision to grow out my relaxer came at a time when my soul was begging for a voice. I’d hidden myself for such a long time, and as my new growth took over my hair, a new attitude and a new perspective took over my life. I mark the three year anniversary of my love affair as a turning point in my life and a celebration of self-love and authenticity.

Celebrate with me. Today, think about one small thing you can do to express more of who you are.

10 comments:

Chic Mommy, Cool Kid said...

I'm loving that big hair too! I hope that my transitioning journey leads my hair to be strong, healthy--and I like "quirky"--too! I think it's well on its way. Celebrating with you!

miss miranda said...

Your hair looks absolutely beautiful! Did you do the big chop or did you just let your perm grow out? I just permed my hair the other day...after promising myself that I'd say no to perms and hello to natural.

Ms. Mae said...

Beautiful post! I'm transitioning right now and I was just thinking to myself today that it's interesting how I now look forward to the time when I get to have a one on one with my hair! : )

Peace Love and Pretty Things said...

Thanks Miss Miranda and Ms. Mae!! I let my perm grow out gradually and I wore it straight the whole time. I would blow it out then bump it and wrap it for the most part. This is the first summer that I've been able to actually wear washngo's and other natural styles. it's so exciting.

Carlotta said...

Your hair is beautiful!! I saw this post on curlynikki and had to come over to get some of your energy. I have decided to grow out my perm that was put in last week, my oldest is growing out her perm which I was going to touch up a few days ago, my youngest has natural hair after one disaster with a perm, and my son wants to grow an afro. Whew, that's a lot but I'm so excited to start on this journey for us all.
~Tootles!

G said...

Sounds like fun, Carlotta! I have a 3 year old daughter so I'm still learning her hair and how to keep it moisturized. We have our "salon" days together and we do hair and nails. I'm creating a mini product junkie already!

Ashley said...

You're hair is gorgeous :). Do you have a fotki or can you tell me the products you can't live without?

Janice said...

Your hair is absolutely beautiful. I saw your post on curlynikki.com. Your hair texture in the Curly-Kinky picture looks very similar to my hair texture. However, my curls tend to get frizzy in some areas versus holding the curl pattern. What products do you use to help you maintain the curl definition? Your help would be greatly appreciated.

G said...

Ashley and Janice, I don't have a fotki but I can definitely tell you what products I used for the hair in the pics. I use a lot of the advice and reviews from Curly Nikki and other hair blogs. I've been cowashing with Aussie Moist Conditioner and I just LOVE IT. it makes my hair so so so soft and slippery and it's the best way for me to detangle. I also use it as a leave-in. For the twistncurl in this picture, I did about 10-12 2-strand twists all over my head with rollers at the end. On each piece, I just put a little bit of olive oil and a teeny bit of kinky curly custard (because of the hold and antifrizz action) and sealed the ends with Herbal Essences Long Term Relationship split ends treatment. When I took it out, I just put some shea butter on the ends of each twist and some gloss throughout. I didn't really manipulate the curls too much. This picture is 3rd day hair, so I just used the end of a rat-tail comb and fluffed it and separated the curls to make it nice and big.

When i wash and go, i just leave in the aussie moist and then section by section I use kinky curly curling custard. seal my ends with shea butter or the herbal essences split ends stuff. that lasts me for 2-3 days and it doesn't really frizz. I may need a few sprays of water and some Quenched Curls (curls.biz) but I think i owe the non-frizziness to the kinky curly custard!

Since i'm new to all this, my process and products change often. I will definitely post about my successful experiments and my NOT so successful experiments!!

Janice said...

Thanks so much for the run down.

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